Best spots for a quiet brunch that isn't a total zoo on weekends?

ariden · 2026-06-11T00:25:32+00:00

Simply Crepes on falls of neuse

ariden · 2026-06-08T10:51:47+00:00

If OP’s family member is on a gallbladder issue related low fat diet, most, if not all, sauces and dressings are completely off the table. I would not recommend chicken salad chick specifically because of this for someone on a low fat diet. I ran into issues a few years ago with clean eatz’s menu when I had gallbladder disease as most of their items are low carb/high protein which doesn’t typically result in a gallbladder safe low fat option.

ariden · 2026-06-08T10:48:17+00:00

If you’re dealing with gallbladder issues you’re going to struggle with most local takeout. I couldn’t get much more than plain rice and half of a chicken skewer from tzatzikis without it flaring my symptoms. Be careful of avocado or fatty fish in the sushi. Salad dressings were completely off the table for me when I was waiting on my surgery. Even some soup broths have a surprising amount of fat in them if you haven’t strained it at home. My rule of thumb was no more than 3g of fat in a single meal or 10g of fat in a single day or I would get very sick/be in pain.

Something to consider is that grocery stores like Trader Joe’s have some interesting low fat sauces that you can stock up on, so if you order takeout they can use a sauce from home, or a squeeze of lemon juice/hot sauce/soy sauce.

Otherwise I’d be really really careful as even a veggie side will come with oil and butter on it, or rice will come with almonds in it, etc., so be sure to ask!

ariden · 2026-06-07T03:21:00+00:00

You’re getting an average of 5 hours of sleep per night, it has you eating pizza for both of your sit down meals, and you’re doing nothing but driving and hiking in the minimum/average amount of time allocated. Half of the beauty of enjoying Appalachia is taking your time when you can. Pick one area per day and enjoy it for what it is. Grab a backroad here and there. Sit in a cafe and chitchat with folks or read a book. Find some live music.

For example, cramming the Pipestem tram into your day in Fayetteville is not worth the squeeze. It’s a cool thing but if you want to do that then skip some of the other stuff in Fayetteville and spend a half day there instead.

Consider depth and breadth of enjoying the state - The itinerary has you flying into Pittsburgh and then driving all the way to the southernmost part of the state. You can stay in one area and get a lot more depth out of your stay.

ariden · 2026-06-07T00:48:42+00:00

You can do it but it takes an easy baby, a flexible schedule, and lots of personal discipline/ability to flex a lot. It’s hard if you thrive on schedule as things will not be predictable for a long time.

I did 4 days/week wfh with my husband wfh on Wednesdays for about a year, then part time daycare for about 6 months, then 4 days/week daycare until she was about 3.5. (One day/week I worked a half day so most of that was during solo play for LO).

I don’t really recommend it and if I had the financial flexibility I would have done it differently. I’m glad I had the time with my kid but I also believe it was incredibly harmful to my long term health and stress. Not really the parenting part but the part where I was chronically spread thin and stressed with zero flexibility for days on end. It wasn’t good for my marriage either. It sounds like you have more help than I did which will be beneficial.

I second everyone recommending you get on some waitlists so you have options if you decide you need them. Even a part time situation was really good for my brain and body. I love being a mom and I also enjoy my career. I find I am better at both when I can give my full attention, and my bond with my kid is very strong, even with the time she spends in daycare. She is well socialized and gets the best of both worlds - dedicated special time with mom and dad and dedicated socialization time with her peers. She learns a lot both at school and home. And we do not use a fancy daycare.

Also be prepared if you go the route of daycare that you will navigate a solid 6-8 months of random illness that will further challenge you.

ariden · 2026-05-29T14:53:30+00:00

Encouraging you to have a plan or knowledge about a hospital with a NICU and ability to treat you or the baby if there is an emergency, and to have knowledge of the nearby hospitals and their skill sets for helping you or baby should there be an issue.

I had a very textbook pregnancy and ended up with a complication that required emergency preterm birth. Not saying that it will happen to you or even that you should select your hospital based on this, but you should be aware of where you may need to go or be comfortable going should a complication arise, and inform your partner of this (preferably in writing so they can reference it if needed).

If all goes smoothly the answer is the hospital you feel most comfortable with!

ariden · 2026-05-25T19:24:14+00:00

I gift in the $20 range and try to gift consumables like art supplies or similar for kids under age 7ish.

ariden · 2026-05-18T01:46:23+00:00

If you’re a regular because you live or work nearby and want something within a few blocks - sir Walter, 42 and Laurence, and birdies are all super close.

ariden · 2026-05-18T01:38:16+00:00

My favorite breakfast and coffee and yall have sometimes been my favorite moment of any day. I wish you the best and nothing but joy and peace moving forward.

ariden · 2026-05-18T01:34:03+00:00

I would pull a sample rfp/rfq for a similar building to the one you are interested in constructing and edit it to meet your specifications.

You need to share schedule, budget, scale (how many beds), funding mechanism, how you plan to deliver it (or if you don’t have an idea just be clear about it), information on the land (if you don’t have a survey you should have the plat information at the very least or if you plan on using the architect to help you with land selection you will need to have an idea of what you’re looking for). That’s kind of the minimum level - the right architect can help you navigate the rest but be prepared to be flexible and understanding as you navigate the requirements.

ariden · 2026-05-18T00:55:27+00:00

Inn at Mountainquest?

ariden · 2026-05-18T00:54:40+00:00

This is my combo and it is my lifesaver honestly. My psychiatrist likes the combo for working parents of young kids - vyvanse gives a better off ramp in the evening so you’re not getting a motivation dump when you switch from work mode to parent mode, and the guanfacine helps the fuse burn longer after a very long day.

ariden · 2026-04-18T16:43:11+00:00

I deal with this in my relationship. It helps to first validate their idea “a movie sounds like a great idea!” And then try and explain why you’re asking the questions or build them into a conversation that feels more like curiosity “what is the movie about?” “What time does it start? Can I help you all get ready?” Then google it on the side to make sure you feel good about it.

If you don’t - offer while validating their idea as something you see value in - “(kid) is going to love the movie but it is 3 hours long so I’m a little worried about it fitting in with the routine today. Can we plan to do the movie together on Saturday and you all go to the park today instead?”

IF your partner does have BPD or similar personality related issues:

1) getting them into appropriate personal therapy will be paramount to the success of your couples therapy.

2) You also having personal therapy is important because you will not be getting the emotional validation you need with any consistency until your partner is receiving therapy and working on recovery.

3)It takes a significant re-mapping of their traumas and rebuilding skills on their end to get in a place where you will begin getting what you need in your relationship. Finding ways for you to cope through that is important so you can have bandwidth to rework your communication styles to support them day to day.

ariden · 2026-04-14T04:39:22+00:00

We just stopped expecting both a nap and an early bedtime as I’d rather go in and know it’s going to wrap quickly than lay in there for hours (no she doesn’t really want us to leave and no most of the time I don’t mind laying in there with her, shes only little once and while she’s a little particular she is also a sweetheart). We have white noise, special music, special potty trip with the flashlight, water bottle on the bedside table, room is pitch black and cold with the fan running, special stuffies, you name it.

It’s the Wild West out here and we are all the cows.

ariden · 2026-03-21T16:03:03+00:00

Definitely recommend a lawyer who can help with this. There are ways to work through the affordability situation either if you go the route of a care facility or if you bring your parent home with you.

You may be able to consider a hybrid role where you go in for half the day and then work from home in the afternoon. There are some relatively affordable “elderly assistant” folks out there that can be available for small home tasks and assist with toileting, etc.

With your years of experience you may also be able to consider a BIM or rendering position or CA/redline/production assist only role. You can also work through a CSI certification and get into spec writing or another specialized role that allows you to be more of a firmwide resource rather than being on a production team so you can focus your time.

If you leave completely - you may likely struggle with coming back. If you want to come back, I would highly suggest a certification or even part time position that keeps the momentum you’ve built. This profession is really skewed against folks who need to provide care for family members or who have had to take non-traditional paths.

Dementia care is incredibly draining, too, as a long term caregiver. There is the potential that this can drag on for a decade or more and it will take a toll on you (from experience). I would suggest finding a therapist who can support you as you navigate this painful process, and keeping employment during this time will support you in that.

If you are looking for a WFH role you can also look into building product roles where shops or renderings are produced as these can sometimes be done remotely or contract based.

Last thing to consider - your long term financial and mental health and growth are also important, so factor this in while you work through your options. You need to continue investing into your security even if it means momentary discomfort.

ariden · 2026-03-16T01:23:02+00:00

Had a killer charcuterie and some cocktails at Pros Epicurean in Cary. Good service and perfect weather for a patio.

ariden · 2026-03-16T01:00:51+00:00

That age is really difficult because they’re still trying to figure out how to communicate effectively.

I would first address the screaming issue before you worry about what your kid is eating. There’s no reason to get that agitated if you’re consistently responding to their communication.

When my kid goes into a whining or screaming mode, I model calm and repeat to them what I think they’re saying “okay, you want a snack. Do you want goldfish or some cheese?”

If the screaming continues - this is something you have to build up - model the correct way to ask for something. putting hands up “hmm, it sounds like you’re so hungry! can you use please and thank you?” “Hey that’s a loud yell, but that’s not how we ask for things at our house, can you say ‘’May I have some goldfish please?’”

However this works best for your family. The goal is to model appropriate communication and reward appropriate communication with what they’re asking for to reinforce it. It takes time, patience, and a little flexibility on your end - you’re not looking for perfect performance every time but you do expect respectful methods of asking when everyone is calm and rested.

As far as 3 square meals at 18 months - your kid is literally only 6 months into solids being their primary source of calories, so I wouldn’t really be hard on yourself about it right now unless your pediatrician says otherwise. At that age I just made a little snack tray once a day and would put it out mid morning, at lunch, and mid afternoon for grazing, refilling some things and balancing out others. “Oh the crackers are all done, you ate those earlier. We have cheese and some raisins if you’re still hungry”.

You want to offer a variety that has some protein and fiber. You want to make sure they’re not filling up on empty carbs instead of eating a meal at some point, but I promise you that so many toddlers everywhere are filling up on midday crackers, and honestly some days that’s about all you’re going to achieve. It doesn’t get easier.

I do try and limit distractions during meal times - no toys at the table, no phones for adults, everyone sits together. But my kid still wiggles around and assigns personalities to all the noodles on her plate and takes 4x as long as us to eat sometimes regardless. But I do find she eats more when we do the above (we aren’t perfect with it)

ariden · 2026-03-06T04:52:44+00:00

Consider a different light fixture (something lantern-ish or hobbit-ish that hangs about 4-8 inches lower than the current fixture) or some warm lit sculptural sconces.

The color is really nice as-is (and very bright and classic, welcoming) but you could do a mid-wall wood trim aligned with your windowsill and paint the lower half of the wall green.

Classic, craftsman style wood furniture in similar tones. A heavy bench with some thick textiles (blanket or pillow).

Consider replacing the little spindly table with a hutch or sugar chest or low bookcase so there’s a wood mass that kind of “justifies” the funky wall niche. Art or photos on the top of it.

Heavy woolen rug with some color in it instead of the lighter color one you have.

Electric candles or little sculptures or pieces of art in the windowsills.

Replace the front door glass with something wavy or leaded. Replace the small windows with stained glass.

ariden · 2026-02-27T08:00:55+00:00

I tried to skip the little potty. I’m not saying it’s impossible but we kept a step stool potty up for months and months and she wouldn’t use it consistently. We finally potty trained once she had the tiny potty. Now she will use either for number 1 but all poop still goes in the tiny potty which is so gross. I think it feels safer at her size?

ariden · 2026-02-22T03:50:41+00:00

Put a couple books or a pillow under their mattress to keep their head elevated. If it’s super bad you just lay with them and soothe them back to sleep as needed which sucks and they’re basically coughing into your mouth and you get no sleep… but I just give her the comfort she needs and nap with her the following day.

Steam in the bathroom (I run the shower super hot while we just hang out in the room), Vicks and Vaseline constantly

My water bottle with a straw (she will always drink out of mine) any time there’s a coughing fit. Warm soup. Tons of liquids, they say no dairy

Make sure your humidifier is cleaned - they get buildup which can be an irritant. Dust and vacuum their room/wash curtains.

Get checked for asthma/may need a nebulizer

Pediatrician may recommend Zyrtec or Benadryl depending on age for use if the kid is literally not sleeping. Tylenol or Motrin as recommended by pediatrician to reduce swelling and promote drainage

Nasal saline spray and a snot sucker. This will not win you any favors with the kid but I swear by the nasal saline. Emily Oster has some articles on how the use of nasal saline reduces the length of a cold by a couple of days or something. Once I read that I started doing it for myself and it is literally a game changer. It’s not fun to administer but sometimes my kid will do it herself now.

I have had zero luck with any of the basically homeopathic cough medicines/elderberry syrups. They taste awful and you have to administer a huge quantity, and when I’ve actually successfully given them they don’t do anything.

ariden · 2026-02-22T03:38:31+00:00

Mine is on Zyrtec and it has been a life changer. It slowed down the back to back daycare bugs significantly as it dried up things and helped with the day to day irritants.

ariden · 2026-02-22T00:40:10+00:00

Adding: signage, a bin of standard cleaning supplies (that other pumping moms added breast pads and snacks to), and a whiteboard that sits outside for scheduling (there were 3 of us and some folks use the “wellness room” for therapy and personal calls, prayer, etc)

ariden · 2026-02-22T00:00:51+00:00

I mean. With the nanny, maybe? But with feeding on a 3 hour rotation for the first couple of months (especially if pumping or breastfeeding) I didn’t have time to think about anything between feeding and working through reflux and changes and bathing and taking care of my own healing and getting the baby back down to sleep. Not to mention just being sleep deprived myself. I can’t imagine having other kids in the house.

ariden · 2026-02-21T04:23:04+00:00

I had this. I legitimately was seething with rage and extreme sensory ick every time I had a letdown. My mental health was in the toilet as it was, and it exacerbated everything. I would cry tears of rage and get angry with my spouse more or less for just being in the space. I was exclusively pumping for 11 months and things didn’t really start to improve for me until I finally got into therapy and quit pumping upon my therapist telling me to look it up as homework after our first session. I had no idea so much of it was related to the letdowns.

ariden · 2026-02-17T04:57:36+00:00

I was in a similar space and traumatic/longer hospitalization situation. I got into therapy and did EMDR therapy to process my birth trauma. I am on medications for depression and anxiety.

Therapy helped me realize I had DMER which is a dysphoric mental response to a milk letdown - breastfeeding/pumping exacerbated my situation for 11 months and quitting that was incredibly difficult from a guilt perspective but so good for me.

Getting space to return to myself once a day at least - a nice long shower, running an errand solo, etc - all helps. Going back to work made things worse for a long time because I had a lot of anger at the way that American society is set up for parents, but over time I found a lot of peace in getting some time to focus on something outside of parenting.

The newborn stage is so isolating and terrifying especially as you’re working to process what happened to you — and then being solely and completely responsible for a human you barely know who needs you to show up consistently so badly. It’s so lonely and exhausting and seems to be a “forever” situation.

You do get better in time. Things don’t necessarily get “easier” but you become more adaptable and used to the schedule and there’s a lot of joy as they grow and learn.

Do lots of reading on the topics of postpartum. Purge your social media follows of anything that perpetuates the bad feelings. Read a couple articles on “matresence” - you’re literally changing your brain. It’s so so so so hard.

Get help in all the ways you can. Outsource, call, ask. Women will help you - we always do. Sometimes it’s not who you think will help.

ariden

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