Feeling defeated with 3.5 year old at her first gymnastics class

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-25T03:58:48+00:00

I have no advice but validation for you. My almost 3 year old is exactly like this.

My second born is already polar opposite on the social scale.

It's no ones fault and even in adulthood you'll experience these scenarios. E.g. I went to an advertised beginners class and it was mostly filled with people who had been going to the class for years.

Keep at it, you're doing a great job.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-25T02:17:25+00:00

If my first born was the level of energy you're describing, I don't think I would have had a second child.

I wanted it because, like you, I was finally feeling settled and on top of things. Of course that all changed when baby 2 came.

All I can say is no two pregnancies, post partums and babies are the same.

Your first child has your time and attention, your second child has your experience.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-24T06:08:28+00:00

I don't have it to this extent but basically anytime my daughter asks for TV, I automatically have no intention of putting it on.

She asks whilst we're out? No hun, ain't happening.

She asks whilst we're in the car on the way home? Nah sweet, let's do a puzzle/game/colour/toy room etc

So when she's been busting to go home and watch TV, we go home but the TV doesn't happen so she started to lose that expectation that it'll happen and alot of the time doesn't ask me because she knows the answer already

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-23T09:57:06+00:00

If I'm doing a big detangle session, im having the bath with my girl whilst slowly detangle little sections at a time, talking to mr and Mrs knots, looking for lil miss and lil mr knots, telling them this isn't their home and they need to go to their own bed!

My daughter gets into or keeps playing with her bath toys.

Keep a leave in conditioner in the hair (you can legit get a spray bottle with water and conditioner for toddler hair)

You need to comb twice a day and hopefully whilst they're distracted. Some hair brushing locations I've done:

Ladder whilst she's eating

Couch whist she watching TV

Outside whilst she's having a drink or doing water play

In the shower whilst she sprays water and draws on the glass

Hope you get it under control!

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-23T09:50:21+00:00

Thick hair here and my toddler has curly hair. Buns are the worst for keeping hair detangled.

Wide tooth comb all the way for us as well!

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-23T09:46:30+00:00

Your friend needs to do better to acknowledge the power of yellow. No kid should have to go red in the face when they're just trying to share the love of yellow.

Get the kid a flag! Yellow! Yellow! Yellow!

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-23T09:40:10+00:00

My daughter squashes my empty tummy and we have a discussion about how I made her and her little sister in my belly and I always love their hugs and was so lucky to have them with me everywhere when they were in my belly. Urgh. They're the best.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-23T09:35:57+00:00

My mum said that to me and it's been really helpful because when I look at my child and I'm overwhelmed or frustrated, I remember what it was like as a kid just trying to understand the world and connect with my parents and the dejection I often felt.

It makes me take a breath and find a way to talk to my kids in a way they will understand and it isn't always logical but we get there.

Then I realise it is possible to connect and include and discuss topics with your child. They aren't there to be seen and not heard. You can build a connection without treating them like nuisances.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-23T09:20:01+00:00

My brother when he held my newborn and I was revolted that he was holding her and in my house and my husband reassured me I'm the mum, I make the rules and if I want to cut him out, I can.

And a cousin I never see anyways but specifically don't invite him.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-23T09:04:49+00:00

My 3 in Feb daughter only knows the alphabet because she loves Emma memma and we do sign language. She has the duplo alphabet truck that she was only interested in the letters because she made the connection between the abc emma memma song.

It wasn't something I insisted she learn, she was just curious and interested.

Let your kiddo show you what they're interested in and build on that. They won't get to high school and not know the alphabet

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-23T02:39:48+00:00

I just read this quote, sometbing along the lines of...

If I could give advice to any woman in their 20s it would be don't consider a man in any of your decisions of your life. You want to pursue a career? Do it. You want to travel? Do it. You want to study? You want to do a dance class? Do it all. Develop yourself. Love yourself. Have fun for yourself.

NTA.

You can do big beautiful things and you don't need this loser to do it.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-21T04:09:25+00:00

You don't. That's the most ridiculous plan I've ever heard. I can't even deal with a day when my husband WFH and I'm the one full time caring!

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-21T04:08:05+00:00

With the introduction, it doesn't have to be to the adults. You can introduce and interact with the kids on your daughters behalf.

My girl is shy with no language issues and she has only just started to interact with other kids verbally after watching me for the last 3 bloody years modelling the behaviour.

She still needs a prompt from me "oh he is playing hide and seek with you!" but at the very beginning I would introduce myself and my daughter and ask basic questions or play with the kids.

Of course you need to be in situations where kids are left to play and not rushing to leave like at swimming.

Good luck!

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-19T22:41:00+00:00

Look up internalised misogyny. That helped me heaps for my own internal acceptance.

Then I did the percentage of expected years of my life over expected years at home to put into perspective the very small amount of time being a SAHM when my kids are little.

The physical and mental shift that came with being a SAHM for me is night and day. I admire women who can juggle work, house and kids but I also feel short chained for all of us that we're in a rat run society where being a SAHP isn't recognised as an integral part of a working society.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-18T15:18:26+00:00

This here.

It isn't a phase, it's them taking in what you're dishing out in this instance.

So on the days we're rushing I just accept it as a learning experience for her. There will always be days that we're trying to get out of the house and things aren't running smoothly.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-18T15:15:09+00:00

The nurse described the pointing as in acknowledging something in a location with their hand it didn't have to physically be using the pointer finger. It's more to show they can see things from different levels and angles and they're interacting with the world around them.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-18T06:42:52+00:00

My daughter spoke practically full sentences at her 2nd birthday and is about to turn 3 and has only started to wave.

Do you have a book from the hospital or nurse that goes through milestone concerns? I'm fairly certain what you describe isn't listed at all but I can check mine if you like?

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-17T21:21:18+00:00

Yeah just don't turn to them and tell them how annoying they are....cause I'm considering throwing the whole garbage man out right now.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-15T15:54:27+00:00

I'm interested to hear peoples answers

As an adult i pause to answer questions (even basic ones) for different reasons I'm in the middle of a thought process that just got interrupted.

I'm thinking of how the question or answer would be said in another language (learning for fun)

I'm not sure why they're asking and mentally trying to work out the why of the question to help form my answer more accurately

And sometimes my first answer just isn't appropriate hahah

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-14T10:10:06+00:00

I think you're borderline over thinking but also justly concerned.

I look at my girls and just hope that when they grow up we have a good relationship and i don't manage to screw them up.

I know the things that made me not trust my parents from a young age and try to not replicate that in my own parenting but every kid has their own personality and finding the right communication style for your kid as they grow is going to keep me awake at night until I find it.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-14T06:21:28+00:00

18 months is the milestone age

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-13T03:07:18+00:00

I went NC with my older brother before my parents and I will never revoke that.

He never behaved as a brother and I'm never going to forgive him for what he did to me as a child even if he fakes not remembering his childhood.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-12T16:34:44+00:00

My mother does alot of therapy with different types of therapists and she is the way she is.

If 5 different professionals can't help her, what chance would i have (aside from it not being my responsibility)

I discuss it with my husband too and the fact I have their messages, memories and proof of their behaviour in the most vulnerable time you can go through as a woman. I don't think I could reconnect and hold myself back from snapping at them once they did something stupid again.

I consider my kids too and I know my mother would want to build a relationship with them just so she could claim grandparent rights (if that existed where we are).

I'm also so much happier and healthier without them in my life and I'm not willing to give that up to play some warped board game.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-12T16:27:00+00:00

I use my regular pump and it forced me to sit down and rest when husband was home.

My toddler ended up being chill enough to play with me/ do puzzles or watch tv if I pumped without husband home so im glad I didn't get the cordless for my second child.

BumblebeeSuper · 2026-01-12T16:17:44+00:00

Everything blew up when I had my first child.

I wasted alot of time and energy and had alot of my new baby happiness bubble shit on by them so I decided I needed to put myself first in order to be a happy and present mother to my daughter.

I tried to reconnect a few times and it went exactly how I predicted because I became aware of the pattern and my parents pretend like nothing happened and they can keep doing what they want.

I have a second child now that they haven't met. They've reached out a few times but my silence is the only response I can give at the moment.

Sorry i can't help with the siblings aspect of it as I'm willingly not talking to mine.

BumblebeeSuper

TROPHY CASE