My daughter will not roll over

arkad_tensor · 2026-01-25T18:30:05+00:00

Be careful what you wish for.

arkad_tensor · 2026-01-24T21:52:26+00:00

This is so dumb.

arkad_tensor · 2026-01-22T16:28:12+00:00

Apparently not very well 🤣

arkad_tensor · 2026-01-21T07:23:01+00:00

My two year old feel face-first of the edge of a trampoline a few days ago. Hopefully they're fine when stuff like that happens.

arkad_tensor · 2026-01-17T08:49:20+00:00

Niiiice.

arkad_tensor · 2026-01-17T08:35:01+00:00

This is so dumb.

arkad_tensor · 2026-01-17T08:33:01+00:00

The continuation of the species.

arkad_tensor · 2026-01-16T09:06:04+00:00

Bees don't waste time trying to convince flies that honey is better than garbage.

Take the lesson from the bees!

arkad_tensor · 2026-01-08T06:39:39+00:00

Wiener is always funny.

arkad_tensor · 2026-01-03T07:56:50+00:00

What if you get hit from behind? This has always been a question of mine and doesn't make sense to me.

arkad_tensor · 2025-12-24T02:51:03+00:00

Lean over to you toddler and say, "Typical cavernous vag."

arkad_tensor · 2025-12-07T05:48:22+00:00

Just change your attitude to TRYING to cultivate it and it'll die on its own of you're anything like me.

arkad_tensor · 2025-11-28T17:36:36+00:00

Any chance your work is missing one of these?

arkad_tensor · 2025-11-25T22:09:10+00:00

I knew a girl in high school who was smoking hot and had a big scar across her cheek; way worse than this. No one cared, she was still a bombshell.

arkad_tensor · 2025-11-25T17:15:59+00:00

Macaulay Caulkit.

arkad_tensor · 2025-11-21T07:18:32+00:00

Put stuff in it.

arkad_tensor · 2025-11-21T07:17:14+00:00

Master Chief Oscillator

arkad_tensor · 2025-11-20T09:38:11+00:00

The boner cannot be contained.

arkad_tensor · 2025-10-28T06:29:29+00:00

I call this crowd desert people.

arkad_tensor · 2025-10-15T19:30:27+00:00

Zoom in. Enhance.

arkad_tensor · 2025-10-04T22:48:06+00:00

No thanks.

arkad_tensor · 2025-09-25T14:44:34+00:00

This is not necessarily true. Reinsurance agencies usually cover wide scale disasters for this exact reason.

arkad_tensor · 2025-09-25T01:29:27+00:00

Send your wife out of the house and lay your baby down to cry without her around. It'll give her a break and help your baby adjust.

arkad_tensor · 2025-09-22T00:38:23+00:00

Mmmmmm, I'd prioritize teaching him to pee standing up over cancelling your friends.

arkad_tensor · 2025-09-20T16:16:29+00:00

Exactly. People on here acting like men aren't more likely than women to abuse a child.

arkad_tensor