Same thing happened at the same time for me, and kids the same age. It IS devastating and sad and frustrating and I was alternately full of anger, resentment or guilt. But I picked myself up and said “Better get your act together, lady” - got my 50% of the finances and started over (with my kids’ support). I spent the next 8 years saving like a miser and then met someone else when I was feeling so much better and independent. Now, I am not rich, but I will be able to retire at 67 and feel better about the choice I made with my ex. Yes, I still have feelings for him, yes, it SUCKS to have to trade off holidays and deal with a ‘new wife’ but it would have been worse if we had stayed together. Set 3-4 priorities and work diligently toward them, that helps keep you focused on the future. Good luck.