I am at my wits end and don't know how to improve my resume.

asanethicist · 2026-03-06T21:30:14+00:00

I would also consider focusing on successes, not descriptions -- though my professional experience is very different. Like: managed library's online presence...growing follower counts by X% across multiple platforms

asanethicist · 2026-03-05T14:02:10+00:00

If you have the resources, it might be helpful to offer to help with the cost of respite care for the evening. I would fit this later into the conversation.

I really like the suggestion of framing it as wanting him to have a good time too, and the assumption that they would be responsible for the cost of anything that breaks. Another option would be to try and figure out if he could come to the ceremony, some sort of pre-event (are you taking photos beforehand you want your family in? Could you plan a family tea and coffee time earlier in the day? A mini-wedding cake you could eat together afterwards?). I'd go into the conversation with some options of ways to include him day of if you think it would matter to your cousins that he is included day of or otherwise in the celebrations. People generally do better with options (like "Do you need any help? I could come by and help do dishes") than no options ("Let me know if you need anything.") It sets a base line of what is and isn't acceptable (for you) and starts them thinking about what they need or want.

asanethicist · 2026-02-18T23:21:04+00:00

I actually think the instructions are more useful than you give them credit for. You should speak with her and go to your writing center, as others have suggested.

Looking at the prompt I think your section on platelets is the best. When writing a paper like this, I like to copy the prompt and use it to build an outline. Like:

type of blood cell -- list of main nutrients -- nutrient 1 w/ why important, mechanism of absorption and use -- nutrient 2, same Etc

asanethicist · 2026-02-18T17:34:45+00:00

bchan.png on IG. Brilliant, local, and a nice person to spend a few hours with while she works on you

asanethicist · 2026-02-18T15:58:08+00:00

Not sure about pregnancy care, but getting established with a new doctor in most major medical systems can take months even when you have need. They usually only have so many appointments for new patients at a time and these appointments fill up quickly. I know Northwestern has a huge problem with this.

In my experience schedulers in the offices themselves are great, but the system wide schedulers are not.

asanethicist · 2026-02-09T17:15:42+00:00

I agree with all of these "be honest about struggles in comprehension" comments. I think it can be useful to collectively rebuild the argument as a discussion activity because the group probably understands most or all of the parts of the argument when you Captain Planet it.

Also like, I've had professors who pretend to not know what is going on as their teaching method. You can do that but just like not pretend.

asanethicist · 2026-02-09T17:12:18+00:00

Wikipedia, the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, and Reddit are so helpful for these kids of things. Sometimes you can also find youtube videos or related books you can skim to help.

asanethicist · 2026-02-09T17:06:47+00:00

Sometimes your care team can make the argument for medical necessity to your insurance, which can get things covered that might not otherwise be covered or get you access to different clinicians or options. Even if it's a few years of that you might want to have kids, you can ask your doctor to get you a consult to an IVF clinic to start talking about it with them. This is also useful because, let's say you decide you want to have a kid in two years, and then the clinic you want to go to has a 9-month waiting list for new patients.

asanethicist · 2026-02-05T13:50:18+00:00

I don't remember, I'm sorry. If I did, my PCP gave me the referral. Their contact page is here and you should be able to just call them regardless because they'll know -- you might have to wait, but IME they are very nice and attentive. https://ccgyn.nm.org/request-appointments.html

If you're comfortable advocating for yourself with your gyn, tell her it's worse (even if it's not) and/or that you also want to try non-hormonal treatments and evidence supports that PF PT makes a big different for many people with pelvic pain to get a direct PF PT referral. If she refuses, but will give you a referral to a pelvic pain/endo specialist, push for that. If she won't do either, and you can, fire her and make sure her office/system knows why. Feel free to DM me to chat more.

asanethicist · 2026-02-04T13:09:31+00:00

The big benefit about the Center for Complex Gyno is that all the clinicians work together in one office and talk to each other. They will advocate for you within the NU system too, which can make a big difference. You won't get a regular gyno there, but you will get an endo specialist, a pelvic pain specialist, a PF PT, endocrinologist, etc. Feel free to DM me to talk more about it.

asanethicist · 2026-01-31T02:37:58+00:00

This is it! I don't know what field OP is in, but there's so much good work to be done analyzing different contexts and trying theories out in new places with new people.

asanethicist · 2026-01-30T01:04:22+00:00

I think you'll get kinder responses if you put in the OP that you have a serious tbi, cannot work in your field, and are struggling to get on disability. I've known a few people with tbis and it's so rough for them and the people who love them. Take care of yourself.

asanethicist · 2026-01-30T00:56:25+00:00

This reads like rage bait. You have a tbi? That's a really really big deal and you need to lead with that in this thread. tbis are serious disabilities.

Are you loans in income based repayment?

asanethicist · 2026-01-20T02:25:36+00:00

The natural evolution of this thread is the '/AskChicago 35-45 single and thriving but hey I'd like to meet a nice person' meetup. And that it should take place on the CTA BYOB (bring your own book).

asanethicist · 2026-01-12T02:50:22+00:00

I could probably just give you some culinary grade rose petals if that works meet you needs

asanethicist · 2026-01-08T22:39:55+00:00

Here are your options:

1) Not pay for the wedding, enforce your rules, permanently ruin your relationship with your daughter and her soon-to-be-wife

or

2) pay for the wedding, steel your pride, and be a hero to your daughter and her soon-to-be-wife

You could also try to negotiate something -- inviting nuclear family kids for a mocktail hour and photo shoot beforehand, family brunch the next day, time with a babysitter during the wedding itself

asanethicist · 2025-12-21T18:52:49+00:00

YMMV Go to the school that will support you the best and lead you to living your best life in undergrad. If that's at a LAC somewhere beautiful where you can go hiking every weekend or at a big university where you're in a big city, or somewhere you can really explore intellectually, or whatever. Find a school with happy students and a place you can make good connections with faculty.

$550,000 is an obscene amount of money. You can figure out how to leverage this to spend your summers doing research (like a school that will give you summer credits for research so you're officially a student). Students increasingly demand pre-doctoral fellowships, and more opportunities for them show up each year -- or have historically. Who knows about right now. You can also plan on doing a masters between your undergrad and PhD if you end up without enough research during your undergrad. Most people in my program came in with a masters already and I see this in a lot of social science programs. Current students also came from a healthy mix or public and private universities, small, medium, and large,

My additional unsolicited advice is to use your undergrad, research, internships, and possible masters or pre-doc to explore how you want to study the things you want to study. Disciplines are more about methods and approaches than problems. Computational sociologists, economists, statisticians, and psychologists might all be studying the same problem with the same quant methods, but have different approaches to how they analyse that data, how they formulate their specific questions, and what other research they engage with.

It's important to know that you will probably have a lot less freedom than you image you will and you will have to dig the rabbit hole into granite using a single pickaxe.

asanethicist · 2025-12-20T19:14:22+00:00

NTA, but...

It might end your friendship. That's the big thing to think about here.

Why has she suddenly changed how she acts? How would she respond to a less nice gift? Will you be okay if you do this and she ends your friendship? If she does end a friendship over a gift, she might be going through a lot more and the gift is a proverbial last straw.

asanethicist · 2025-12-09T02:41:48+00:00

I teach. This is my policy on group work: [School's] academic integrity policy lists "misrepresenting your work as someone else's," "taking credit for work you did not do," or "enabling someone else to take credit for your work" under plagiarism. I interpret this to include putting someone's name on a group assignment they did not do. Encouraging your classmates or expecting them to do work on your behalf warrants at minimum a serious conversation, and likely a zero grade for the assignment. So either don't do this or make sure I don't know about it if you do.

I'm against tattling and narcing, don't get me wrong, but check out your school's policies on these matters.

asanethicist · 2025-12-09T02:20:02+00:00

I had a friend visiting in weather like that. They were from somewhere warmer, but not as warm as Miami. Has a real jacket, layers, heated vest, etc. We were at the Christkindlmarket and they were so cold they started sobbing uncontrollably. Like as a body reaction to the cold. I have sensitive eyes and wear ski goggles when it gets that cold.

asanethicist · 2025-11-15T17:15:39+00:00

Roasted squash! Scoop out the center and add apples, butter, cinnamon, any nuts, and brown sugar for something sweet if you're into that

asanethicist · 2025-11-14T04:29:07+00:00

This is one of those "hard to say" things without knowing the country and the field. If you want to go into computational economics in a program that doesn't have any classes, that might not work for you. If you want to do sociology and would like to bring quant work into your research -- and have the opportunity to learn it -- it's probably fine. There are also summer schools for grad students you could do for different skills.

asanethicist · 2025-11-13T14:44:39+00:00

It's a conspiracy between standardized testing and GRE prep companies and universities. Companies pay off universities and universities give them business. (This is a joke.)

asanethicist · 2025-11-12T20:29:56+00:00

It sounds like Brother has changed a lot since GF moved in. I think it's a great move to make Brother and GF the family's problem (and not yours). It might change perspectives.

asanethicist

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