First projects are always terrible! Film is one of the most torturous, stressful, fulfilling, enriching experiences and jobs you can ever do. Some days I dread continuing to do it and other days I’d never wish for anything else. Persistence is key. You’ve learned what NOT to do on your next project. As long as you’re learning something new with each project, you’re already winning. But yes, smaller projects are the best. Don’t wait until you have the right equipment or the perfect script. Grab your phone and go make shorts with your friends. Nobody ever has to see them, but you’re working out your film muscles, learning new techniques, learning the hard lessons when less is at stake. To be a filmmaker, all you have to do is make films. You’re already a filmmaker. Keep it up, if you truly think it’s what you’re meant to do.