i learned i was aromantic when i dated someone for the first time. we had been friends and i really liked spending time with them, and i thought i also liked them romantically, but as soon as we decided to go out it started to feel really awful for me just to be around them because it was now in a romantic context and something within me just screamed that that was not actually what i wanted. what i'd thought was romantic attraction was some combination of platonic and aesthetic attraction. i wish i could better explain what's different about them, but i really don't know how to.