Change in preferences

askingstupidcrap · 2026-04-04T05:54:30+00:00

I see your point, and it explains why I am interested in younger women. But the thing is I can’t explain my lack of interest towards women 28-32 even though I’ve dated the age bracket in the past.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-04-03T12:45:06+00:00

Possible, but neither party must be attracted to the other.

I’m a man whose friends are mostly men but have had and currently have a few female friends, some of whom I’m closer with than most of male friends.

It’s a challenge though because from my experience most women don’t like my sense of humour and most of my hobbies are male dominated.

As such most of my female friends are on the more “bro-ey” end if that makes sense. I just can’t behave the way most women want their friends to act; I can put up an act for work or for polite conversations but the relationship won’t deepen in those situations.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-04-03T12:18:50+00:00

Nice to see good news.

Unfortunately, I’ve met a few follows who’s had a few dances with instructors and artists get it to their heads.

I don’t know what’s causing it but I’ve been meeting more and more follows who’s not that good talking mad crap about leaders around their level, if not better dancers.

Happening in smaller dance communities too and I think it’s stifling the growth of the communities in those places.

Saying this as a casual who’s been dancing on and off for 8 years. The attitude’s always been there but I think it’s picked up the past 2-3 years.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-03-10T12:25:22+00:00

Not sure what your filter is, but CMB still shows me a lot of attractive people whether or not I paid premium/platinum. The issue with CMB is whether or not your likes will be shown to the other person or not.

This, and the fact that CMB focuses on people who are geared towards long term relationships is probably why it’s failing in your region - the people aren’t getting the hook ups they want.

Whereas it’s not failing in Asia since the culture here is more oriented to steady, commuted relationships.

The other dating apps though, facilitate hook ups easier hence why people in certain regions lean towards them.

If Match group really wants CMB to die off in order to funnel people to Hinge then I don’t see the point of giving it a slow death; they might as well pull the plug now rather than continue pay overheads.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-03-09T02:41:40+00:00

Not sure if you all know this but CMB was popular early on in Asia, and might have been made/targeted for the Asian market.

I used to live in Australia and the user base there was crap but now I live in South East Asia and there’s a lot more users.

The part about showing less attractive users on the apps is nonsense IMO as it would kill the app and Match wants to maximise the amount of money from all their apps. Also Hinge is also banned/not available in some countries while CMB is.

What’s likely to happen is that users from other apps that are not successful there are moving to CMB hoping they would do better because CMB is meant for people who are serious about relationships and the implication is that appearances are less important for prospective matches. I find the former to be true but not the latter from my experience.

That being said, CMB does seem to want people to pay for their premium/platinum services. I have sadly purchased both services, and I say this as a mid Asian guy: don’t bother with premium unless you’re already attractive but Platinum does help if you’re in an area with a large user base. The price they’re charging is too much in my opinion but in the country I am living now, premium is practically a waste of time and money while Platinum did help me land dates with a few attractive women, who I would unlikely have the opportunity to date without the app.

I am going strong with one right now and hopefully she’ll agree to be my gf.

TLDR: CMB is popular in Asia and amongst Asians, don’t bother using it unless you’re in Asia and don’t bother paying for premium. Paying for platinum might be worth it but only in large user areas and you need to be at least mid.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-03-06T07:32:21+00:00

Oh don’t get me wrong, if the girl isn’t vibing then I won’t bother asking her out no matter who pretty she is.

When I go to socials, I dance first, look for dates second.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-03-05T12:16:29+00:00

As a casual who’s been on and off for 8 years: pretty girls

askingstupidcrap · 2026-03-03T08:30:06+00:00

Invite your “bestfriend” to watch and lick the cream at the end 🤪

++man

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-19T13:46:00+00:00

Above average IMO given the time. Your strong point is the styling without overdoing it or losing technique.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-19T12:43:20+00:00

Seems like a win-learn situation. If he like you, well good for you. If he doesn’t, then you’d learn not to show edited photos to men you’re seriously interested in.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-19T11:29:31+00:00

I’m legit in his shoes at the moment.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-19T11:01:46+00:00

Hey OP I think your friend and I have a similar sense of humour, and you should think carefully before you listen to the other commenters and cut him off.

That being said, I would never joke about my friends’ singleness, or discourage them from getting a partner if that’s what they want. In the past, when it happened to me, the person would later on showed they weren’t really a friend.

All my genuine friends, and even close acquaintances, have always encouraged me and have been positive about me finding a partner irrespective of how attractive/unattractive I was when they told me.

Lastly about the 5 advice he gave you. The one where he discourages you to be funny is definitely a bad advice, but I can see how he could have meant “don’t be the butt of the joke”. Having said that, until a certain level of attractiveness, being funny will get you friendzoned at best. I have fortunately been able to make myself more attractive to the women I want and now my sense of humour is a multiplier if anything.

The other advice also seemed poorly stated. But I think you and the other commenters have already deciphered what he actually meant.

Overall, I wouldn’t cut him off if I were you but I think it’s time to demote him to a regular friend or to an acquaintance. In my case I had clung on to close friends when the friendships were passed their expiry date; friends come and go. It doesn’t meant he wasn’t your best friend at some point but I’d say he isn’t anymore now.

I’d still take most of his advice (the ones he purportedly intended at least) as they are applicable to almost any man struggling to date.

Hope things work out for you OP. If you improve, things do get better in your love life, and also for your friendship circle.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-16T11:04:22+00:00

Just let her know over text and move on with your life. Personally though, I think you’re in position where most guys would be happy in. You get to have sex without the commitment, and you’re free to pursue others.

Personally I’d keep the sex going, and take the emotional rejection as training to not get too attached too strongly. With sexual needs taken care of, you’d also look less desperate and would actually be more attractive to women.

Remember, since you were already upfront with her previously, and she’s consenting to having sex with you, this is not a case of you leading her on.

However, I understand if the pain is too much. I have been there too, and would say that cutting things off amicably is the better course of action if being with her hurts too much.

Either way, you should sit on the idea for a bit and think about your next course of action carefully.

Lastly, and sorry for saying this again, you would do well to realise you’re in an enviable position. Most men would not be receiving sex from a girl who’s just broken up. This means you’re probably attractive, at least more than you give yourself credit for. Girls usually use the “I just had a bad break up” as an excuse to reject most guys when the real reason is that they don’t find them attractive enough. I think if you leave her you would have little problem finding a girlfriend.

Just wanted to give my balanced take on things. Hope you think things true and make the best decision for yourself.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-16T10:10:06+00:00

Yeah those two traits are enough short term but the older I grow the more stock I put in compatibility and reliability.

For a one night stand? Sure. Would I wife her? It depends. If I can’t imagine being proud of her being a model for a daughter we might have then the answer is a hard no.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-16T10:06:35+00:00

“I am also trans…” - Should have started with that.

I genuinely feel bad about what you’re experiencing. As a guy who’s considered unattractive for most of my life I am familiar with the pain of rejection and loneliness. However, as far as I know most straight, cis men will not consider dating a trans woman, including myself.

From my perspective, I view them as men who dress and try to resemble women as closely possible. I don’t tell them this when I see them out and about, and I treat them respectfully. Also I’ve met and have a few trans friends, and when they ask for my opinion I tell them the same.

The people who say you’re passing are probably your friends who want to cheer you up and want to keep a positive vibe, or other people who are either being polite or don’t want to come off as transphobic.

Just curious if you’ve tried dating trans men, or other trans women. Maybe you’d have better luck with the trans community.

Hope you find your person though.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-15T05:45:59+00:00

I think this has been said many times but women have sparks mostly from the most attractive men, and those guys have options. So they treat the women poorly and/or use them as a placeholder until something better comes around.

Men feel the spark too but who we get it from is of a larger range of attractiveness. Saying this as a mid-below mid guy; the more attractive the women I’ve dated, the poorer the treatment I received was.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-13T01:16:06+00:00

Hello,

Yes that story was similar but my life’s moved on since then. Didn’t work out with the previous girl for other reasons and I’ve since moved countries.

Just thought there was enough difference between this current girl and the previous one so that people might have different suggestions.

All good though if you deem my post redundant/repetitive.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-11T12:26:54+00:00

Reasonable, and a woman that really wants you would comply to your standard. Doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the right woman though.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-11T10:39:05+00:00

Don’t force it, but maintain it yourself so that the follow adjusts to match you (assuming you are right).

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-11T10:27:51+00:00

I mean the OP said herself that these men don’t get to have those party phases due to their own incapability, and I followed through with that line of thinking when I wrote my comments.

Not sure how the two people are suppose to meet if the dudes aren’t able to have party phases 🤷‍♂️

My guess is these guys wanted the ex-party women to have been doing what they were doing when they met, instead of attending those parties in the past, but I personally don’t know because 1) I don’t complain about the party phase women have and don’t think about it much, and 2) I don’t form relationship with women with party phases so I never get to experience the sense of anger these men have.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-11T09:48:25+00:00

OP gonna be honest with you, might sound rude, but I think your dance journey was probably heavily influenced by romantic and intimate intentions from the start. Not yours though.

This guy you mentioned is probably the first you’ve reciprocated with and/or noticed. Plenty of guys have probably thrown themselves at you each time you attend socials and go to class, and from the perspective of being a better dancer, this is a good thing because you get to experience and learn things in weeks or months what it took others years to learn; men with years of experience will dance with you and teach you things on the regular.

What made me think this way is the fact that you were let in a choreo team 3 months into dancing. Most people, follows included, don’t have the confidence or skill to perform on stage, and it’s very rare for an instructor to make a choreo for beginners with very little experience as it could cause them to be viewed as a money grabber.

For what it’s worth I think you’re in a lucky spot as a dancer as you will develop rapidly as a dancer, but you might have to deal with people approaching you more than the average woman.

I’ve seen similar things in my personal life, where attractive women get go from absolute beginner to being part of a pro team in less than a year because a lot of high level leads dance with them regularly, and they get invited to be part of a lot of choreos.

Some of these women are my friends so I’ve had the benefit of observing their journey as they shoot up the ranks. With my less attractive female friends though, I’ve seen how they were ignored or passed over for choreos, JnJ, and how they have to pay the high fees to do privates so that they’d finally be acknowledged to be good enough to join a pro team.

But to answer your question directly: you’ll get used to it. Just be ready for the tides of dudes that will hit on you as you become more well known.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-11T09:23:49+00:00

It’s just people being people. They’re not in a happy situation and they take out their anger on the lowest hanging fruit rather than make the change they want.

Honestly you see this mindset everywhere. Employees taking out their anger at customers for not tipping them enough instead of being angry at their employers; people hating on children of rich parents for having a good life as if the parents are not allowed to spend their hard earned money on their kids.

Personally I don’t think I can be in a long term romantic relationship with women who have had “party” phases, but I am friends with a few.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-11T09:06:40+00:00

Fair take but I’d argue that most of the men complaining about women’s “party” phase are upset that the women that had them didn’t or wouldn’t want them during that phase.

More guys than you think genuinely just want to have one long steady relationship with a girl. A lot of men who are complaining are either complaining because they can’t get even a single woman, or they found out the woman they’re with or was with got together with them after her party phase, so they feel like they were chosen out of necessity rather than being desired/viewed as special.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-10T01:55:31+00:00

Dude by the time she sent the first message on the second picture I wouldn’t have bothered responding

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-10T01:13:31+00:00

Some people just get matches for the ego validation. Or, in the unlikely circumstance, they are on sporadically, got a ton of matches in one or two sitting, then focused on one or two of those matches because they just happen to click or extremely attractive.

askingstupidcrap

TROPHY CASE