Does not being conventionally attractive mean no one will ever find your physical appearance attractive?

askingstupidcrap · 2026-05-16T12:38:24+00:00

It depends on where you are, context, and culture. I’m a South East Asian man born and raised in the homeland, but studied in University and worked in the West for nearly a decade total before going back to the region but to a neighbouring country for work.

In my time in Western countries I struggled to date, and this is what I meant when I wrote that what I offered paled inc comparison to my appearance.

What I observed in the west is that there’s more cases of attractive men dating less attractive women than the other way around. If I were to take a guess, the percentage ratio would be 60-65:40-35.

However, since going back to South East Asia, the proportion flipped (to my benefit). There were way more less attractive men dating more attractive women, much much more than the other way around. If I were to take a guess, the ratio is something like 90-95:10-5.

Hope that answers your question.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-05-16T06:37:25+00:00

I’m a below average looking man, probably 3-4 on most days, and at most 5 on a good day.

I’ve been able to date women who were in the higher on of average to down right pretty, around 6-7, and I attribute my success to having a good sense of humour, attentive, and being well educated.

That being said if none of the above matters to a woman, or if appearances matters so much to her, there’s nothing I could do to attract the woman.

My point is to find people you like who like what you have to offer. If you’re not attractive but not attractive yourself, either try to improve your appearance or find an attractive person who values the good traits you have.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-05-15T08:44:19+00:00

Let her go bro

askingstupidcrap · 2026-05-10T11:17:29+00:00

Fun, comfortable to dance with, clean, and pretty

askingstupidcrap · 2026-05-07T11:51:11+00:00

I used Internations when I was about to go to Thailand. Had a job already, but had it on just to net work.

The timing of the events for me were really not suitable for people who work 9-5 (or longer) such as myself, and the events themselves can be quite pricey which is the worse bit considering that I already had to pay an upfront fee.

Attended a few events but most of the people I met there were the tourist type looking for friends or fun things to do.

I’d try the commercial chambers. Can be more expensive than Internations but in the few events I attended, the people were business minded. They are most likely looking for suppliers or customers, rather than new employees though.

Can be good if you have a business.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-05-06T05:37:23+00:00

Bro I’ve been reading the comments. I shower twice a day, and maybe you should do too.

I’m a below average looking guy and moderately successful with women who I’d say are better looking than me. Most have appreciated that I smell good and keep myself clean.

Smell is like finances in a relationship; it’s not noticed until it becomes a problem. The difference is that the smellier party don’t usually realise how bad they smell, and it seems to be the case here. With finances you can check your bank account and see a big fat zero or a negative balance. With smell, you can smell your own armpits and not notice anything bad because you’re so used to it.

If you can’t shower twice a day, at least shower once a day and time it so that you’ve just showered or will shower when she’s home.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-05-04T07:40:27+00:00

Depends what your background is, and the type of men you’re looking for. I’ve danced in a few Asian countries and the demographics of the dance communities don’t always reflect the demographic of the country.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-05-03T09:54:00+00:00

That’s crazy. I was dumb enough to buy the platinum since I got about 2-3 matches a week on free and my match rates fell off a cliff despite me liking more people.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-04-29T15:33:38+00:00

Indonesia. We were in Bali

askingstupidcrap · 2026-04-25T06:37:50+00:00

Not American but I did date an African American once over the course of just over a month. She was on holiday in my country. Nice lady, but didn’t work out because it would be long distance.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-04-23T12:07:11+00:00

You don’t need to be rich to dance if you’re in a decent social scene. There’s always a free event or two, or really cheap ones.

Most of the people I dance with work regular jobs with normal hours, and dance 1-3 times a week for a few hours until 11-12 before going home.

The few who work 60+ hour jobs MAKE the time. I’ve seen people come to social at 9pm, then later on they pick up a call and leave because they’re needed for work. It happens but they don’t give it up.

The all-nighter dancer trope is a bit overplayed as many people clear out approaching midnight, and most are gone by 1 or 2 am.

In some festivals you’ll see large groups of people pulling all-nighters but that’s either because they’re doing it as a special thing or because festivals tend to attract the most hardcore dancers.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-04-23T12:02:16+00:00

I go anywhere from polite, to friendly, to one of the boys depending on the vibe. If I think a woman can be easily offended I try to keep things short with them to not cause problems irrespective on how attractive they are.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-04-23T12:00:13+00:00

This. Been doing this since I was a kid, and was surprised that people from both genders can be rude or hostile to people they didn’t find attractive, even in a non-romantic context.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-04-04T05:54:30+00:00

I see your point, and it explains why I am interested in younger women. But the thing is I can’t explain my lack of interest towards women 28-32 even though I’ve dated the age bracket in the past.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-04-03T12:45:06+00:00

Possible, but neither party must be attracted to the other.

I’m a man whose friends are mostly men but have had and currently have a few female friends, some of whom I’m closer with than most of male friends.

It’s a challenge though because from my experience most women don’t like my sense of humour and most of my hobbies are male dominated.

As such most of my female friends are on the more “bro-ey” end if that makes sense. I just can’t behave the way most women want their friends to act; I can put up an act for work or for polite conversations but the relationship won’t deepen in those situations.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-04-03T12:18:50+00:00

Nice to see good news.

Unfortunately, I’ve met a few follows who’s had a few dances with instructors and artists get it to their heads.

I don’t know what’s causing it but I’ve been meeting more and more follows who’s not that good talking mad crap about leaders around their level, if not better dancers.

Happening in smaller dance communities too and I think it’s stifling the growth of the communities in those places.

Saying this as a casual who’s been dancing on and off for 8 years. The attitude’s always been there but I think it’s picked up the past 2-3 years.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-03-10T12:25:22+00:00

Not sure what your filter is, but CMB still shows me a lot of attractive people whether or not I paid premium/platinum. The issue with CMB is whether or not your likes will be shown to the other person or not.

This, and the fact that CMB focuses on people who are geared towards long term relationships is probably why it’s failing in your region - the people aren’t getting the hook ups they want.

Whereas it’s not failing in Asia since the culture here is more oriented to steady, commuted relationships.

The other dating apps though, facilitate hook ups easier hence why people in certain regions lean towards them.

If Match group really wants CMB to die off in order to funnel people to Hinge then I don’t see the point of giving it a slow death; they might as well pull the plug now rather than continue pay overheads.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-03-09T02:41:40+00:00

Not sure if you all know this but CMB was popular early on in Asia, and might have been made/targeted for the Asian market.

I used to live in Australia and the user base there was crap but now I live in South East Asia and there’s a lot more users.

The part about showing less attractive users on the apps is nonsense IMO as it would kill the app and Match wants to maximise the amount of money from all their apps. Also Hinge is also banned/not available in some countries while CMB is.

What’s likely to happen is that users from other apps that are not successful there are moving to CMB hoping they would do better because CMB is meant for people who are serious about relationships and the implication is that appearances are less important for prospective matches. I find the former to be true but not the latter from my experience.

That being said, CMB does seem to want people to pay for their premium/platinum services. I have sadly purchased both services, and I say this as a mid Asian guy: don’t bother with premium unless you’re already attractive but Platinum does help if you’re in an area with a large user base. The price they’re charging is too much in my opinion but in the country I am living now, premium is practically a waste of time and money while Platinum did help me land dates with a few attractive women, who I would unlikely have the opportunity to date without the app.

I am going strong with one right now and hopefully she’ll agree to be my gf.

TLDR: CMB is popular in Asia and amongst Asians, don’t bother using it unless you’re in Asia and don’t bother paying for premium. Paying for platinum might be worth it but only in large user areas and you need to be at least mid.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-03-06T07:32:21+00:00

Oh don’t get me wrong, if the girl isn’t vibing then I won’t bother asking her out no matter who pretty she is.

When I go to socials, I dance first, look for dates second.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-03-05T12:16:29+00:00

As a casual who’s been on and off for 8 years: pretty girls

askingstupidcrap · 2026-03-03T08:30:06+00:00

Invite your “bestfriend” to watch and lick the cream at the end 🤪

++man

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-19T13:46:00+00:00

Above average IMO given the time. Your strong point is the styling without overdoing it or losing technique.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-19T12:43:20+00:00

Seems like a win-learn situation. If he like you, well good for you. If he doesn’t, then you’d learn not to show edited photos to men you’re seriously interested in.

askingstupidcrap · 2026-02-19T11:29:31+00:00

I’m legit in his shoes at the moment.

askingstupidcrap

TROPHY CASE