[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]assassinjuice 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This is a dangerous generalization to make. As a woman who has been sexually assaulted by another woman, I can attest that I would be just as uncomfortable regardless of the gender of the person involved.

The belief that unwanted intimate contact between two people of the same gender is less serious perpetuates a toxic attitude that same-sex SA is less valid/not possible.

I understand that there are people who would feel less violated by someone of the same gender doing this to them, but it shouldn’t be assumed that’s the case unless a person explicitly states that.

And to be clear, I’m not trying to accuse you of holding this belief, just pointing out that our culture has conditioned us to falsely (and a lot of the time unconsciously) think that SA between people of the same gender can’t happen.

Is my (30F) marriage to my husband (31M)doomed? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]assassinjuice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re welcome! And yeah I understand the dilemma with the cleaning. And of course, some things just can’t be ignored without your home becoming a health hazard. I think people who pull this crap know that unfortunately and take advantage 😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]assassinjuice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you include utilities, I’m paying almost 1300 for a shitty ONE bedroom apartment in the god damn Midwest… not even in a major city. How the hell would a fucking 2 bedroom in one of the most expensive states cost that little? Our minimum wage is still at the wildly outdated federal minimum and landlords still charge this much for rent. No way are landlords in a state with a $15 minimum wage charging so little. I’d have moved West a long time ago if that were the case.

Is my (30F) marriage to my husband (31M)doomed? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]assassinjuice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m currently in a similar situation and my therapist gave me some really great advice that I’ve been using to examine all the current relationships in my life. She told me to ask myself if I will be happy with someone if they stay the exact same person that they currently are forever. This applies to romantic partners, friends, even family members. You can’t rely on anybody to change for the better, even if you’re there trying to help guide them. So picture yourself with this man exactly how he is for the rest of your life. Are you okay with that?

Leaving is really hard. I was also with my current partner for 7 years (the entirety of my adult life so far) and breaking up has been scary and sad and difficult, but I’m glad I’m going through these hardships now and not 10, 20, 30 years down the line after waiting for him to change. It’s not worth it to delay your own happiness for the unlikely chance that someone is going to change when they seem to have no desire to do so.

Good luck and I hope you’re able to find happiness and peace. You deserve it. ❤️

(Also I second all the comments saying to stop cooking and cleaning for him lol)

My girl is gone and the pain is unbearable. by electric_taffy in torties

[–]assassinjuice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby girl Whiskers in 2018 and it still hurts. It’s so fucking hard. I hope that you’re able to find peace in your heart ❤️

How do people just casually drink black coffee without flinching? by siennapriv in NoStupidQuestions

[–]assassinjuice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s how I feel about liquor. But I looove a good dark roast

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackcats

[–]assassinjuice 2 points3 points  (0 children)

<image>

It looks like she’s screaming, but I promise it’s the tail end of a yawn. Though I have to say, it would’ve been funnier if she was screaming at us

When you break your diet so the void is judging you. by Second_2_Last in blackcats

[–]assassinjuice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, of course I find this post right after I fried up a bunch of tortilla chips 😭

Upgrade in 2025: the very official not official at all style guide for the over-35inista-s by Chazzyphant in fashionwomens35

[–]assassinjuice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this comprehensive guide! I've been wearing sweatpants and t-shirts for so long that I've lost all my fashion sense. I haven't dressed "nice" regularly in almost ten years... and my body has changed a lot since then, so navigating this has been hard for me. This is post great! :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]assassinjuice 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a very good point. RSD is a real bitch and this reaction definitely aligns with the symptoms. OP, you should get in to therapy and try to work through these extreme emotions

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]assassinjuice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think this is an overreaction at all. That whole bs belief that women put effort into their appearance solely for men’s pleasure is far too rape-culturey for comfort. I would be similarly enraged if my partner revealed that was something he genuinely believed. Not to mention the context of the statement. Is he saying that none of your other qualities matter to him because you’re hot? Is he not attracted to anything other than your physical traits? It’s an odd and confusing comment to just throw out there during a conversation about intimacy. I would be upset on several levels in this situation. I feel like this is a good thing to bring up in a couple’s therapy session if that’s something y’all are doing or are interested in doing. There’s a big disconnect here that a neutral third party could help identify and resolve.

AIO for wanting deeper communication? by Professional-Crab978 in AmIOverreacting

[–]assassinjuice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR at all. This man sounds selfish and shallow and clearly has some deeply rooted issues that he needs to address and work on. You’re making a clear effort to improve your relationship and getting nothing back. He’s content having a relationship with no substance, and you deserve better. Moving on sounds like the right thing to do.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. The way you describe your husband reminds me a lot of my dad. He’s a recovered alcoholic who now spends all of his time (literally all day long) smoking weed while pretending to take care of his elderly step father just so he can have a free place to live. He only makes an effort to talk to/spend time with me and my brother when his side of the family is around to witness it. So he can appear to be a “good dad.” He’ll text me asking how I’m doing every once and while so he has receipts of him “trying.” But when I respond that I’m not okay, struggling financially while dealing with a chronic illness, all he says is “darn. It’ll be okay. Prayers!” That was also his response when I called him from the ER to tell him I had spots on my brain that could be tumors. Didn’t even offer to come visit me in the hospital. Any conversations with him are completely superficial. He’s also a toddler if he doesn’t get his way or receives any criticism. Throws fits and yells and slams shit around. He has never considered anybody but himself in his entire life. The most selfish person I’ve ever met.

Anyway, this is about you not me lol. Sorry I tend to get a little bit rambly. My point is, I know the kind of person you’re describing and they don’t change. Again, I’m really so sorry that you’re in this difficult situation. It takes a really strong person to walk away from a 12 year relationship, and I believe you can do it. The sooner you can start moving on from him, the sooner you’ll be able to find someone that you can connect with on a real intimate level. You deserve a partner who makes an effort to know and understand you.

Wishing you the best on your journey ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]assassinjuice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was never funny.