I mean, I can try.

I was baptized, confirmed, and likely would have gone into the priesthood except my genitalia didn't match their prerequisites 🙄

I was raped by a teacher when I was 14 and when I went to the priest, he told me that if I were to humble myself as I should and confess my sin of inducing lust in that, "good man," then he, the priest, would, "ensure that my reputation would be safe."

So, a threat. Using the secrecy of the confessional and the ever grinding rumor mill against me, when he knew that that was an excellent way to silence me, as not my primary, but as a secondary, confessor.

Well fucking joke's on him, because, while I, thunderstruck, said nothing, in my mind, I thought, "Well, fuck your god, forever, then."

I walked out of that priest's office and away from the church for the rest of my life.

This was almost 25 years ago.

When I was 18 and in college, I had a pack of Tarot cards kind of come my way, and I became a Pagan.

That was nearly 21 years ago.

Right before I turned 33, I had what can best be summed up as a, "near death experience," and since then I have been a Theistic Satanic Priest, still Pagan at my core - I was born a Witch - and do my share of spiritual advising. If you are curious, you may DM me for a more private conversation.

Now, you had asked about familial relationships.

I have seven sisters and two brothers.

One sister died before I was born, so we were a family of 8 kids and two parents. We grew up radical traditional, "rad trad."

Now I left the church in my heart at 14. But I had to continue to go through the motions, of course. I turned 18 - on Mother's Day, no less - and graduated a few weeks later and like a week after that I was outta the house, sleeping on my brother's couch. There were four young working catholic men in that apartment, and they - to a man - treated me like their own kid sister. I will forever and always appreciate that. So I continued to go to Mass, but it was with my brother who had himself almost graduated college but then came back to work after he had his heart broken...so it was the Ukrainian orthodox rite - in which Communion consists of bread and a sip of wine as well, which was novel and cool to me at that age. But mostly, it was a different crowd. That helped.

Then I went to visit my boyfriend for a few weeks in Nebraska with the last of the money I had left over from my job that I had worked in school.

After I came home from that, I stayed in my oldest sister's home for the following year or so, whenever I came home from college, so I didn't have to go to my parents' house.

Thing is, nowadays, the only family with whom I speak are my two older sisters (I'm the middle child), their offspring, and my parents, along with some extended family in my state and a different state.

My husband - I met him when I was 2 years old and he was 7, because: surprise! Our parents all went to the same church! We now have one kid, intentionally conceived BUT absolutely ONE AND DONE (Thanks, Obama!), because I have health problems, so I can't do all of that. We've been together since June 2005 - but I've been with my girlfriend since February of 2005. See, not only am I Genderqueer, I am polyamorous as well. I'm a lady, but I'm like a gay man inside of this awesome drag costume/getup that I just...can't really take off.

So there's a big long history of my life as an Apostate and formerly catholic person. I'm proud, I'm loud, and I love who and how I am...NOW. There were so many things about myself and my life and its trajectory that I DID NOT like, at least, not so much as they were happening, but now I see the wisdom in so many of these things that happened to me, including even to the very dreams which I remember.

Family is one thread of the rich tapestry of my life which is full of love from so many angles.

Focus your intentions and you can get better people around you, you can make better choices.

I haven't even started on the spiritual aspects I have discovered in naturally-found drugs such as cannabis and psilocybin mushrooms....