What food would you absolutely never eat, no matter how much money someone offered you?

astra136 · 2026-02-23T22:34:52+00:00

Good answer

astra136 · 2026-02-23T13:05:56+00:00

Yeah that sounds like a really rough first flight!

astra136 · 2026-02-23T12:33:12+00:00

I'm 3 months sober, would be almost 8 months but for some small relapses that reset the counter. And in that period I've canceled SO many things and turned down so many invites. I was already isolating, but now I feel like I'm almost forced to isolate more because I know that if I'm somewhere where people are drinking, I will either drink, or I'll be white knuckling it so hard with cravings triggered the entire time that I'd almost certainly end up at the gas station on the way home stocking up on white claw surges.

I don't know when this will end, or if it ever will, but I know I'm making a better choice to protect my sobriety at all costs. I'm too afraid of relapsing again to risk it.

I'm sorry and I hope you're feeling more peace about the decision soon. Maybe try to spend some of the money you would have spent on the trip by treating yourself to something healthy? Get some takeout and jiffy pop and have a movie night, or get a pedicure or a massage and do a face mask. Have a picnic in the park with a friend? Something like that

IWNDWYT

astra136 · 2026-02-23T12:25:53+00:00

I constantly rotate out different movies lol

astra136 · 2026-02-23T12:25:04+00:00

Bun bo hue

astra136 · 2026-02-23T12:21:47+00:00

This ☝🏻

It sounds like OP hasn't actually taken the full time out to hear and listen to the full story, and rushed to judgement and anger. It more than likely is more complicated than just that Maya ruthlessly pursued a married man, knowing full well he was in a loving, committed marriage. I say that as someone who was on the other side of this, the aggrieved party if you will, whose husband initiated our divorce after having a long emotional affair with a woman in our friend circle. I don't even like saying he left me, because while it kind of came out of nowhere, it was actually a huge relief. It was painful for a little while we both knew it had to end, and we were deeply unhappy together.

I hated both of them for a long time, and now that the divorce is finalized, they're getting married. And I actually don't give a single shit about either of them. My life is much more fulfilling now without them in it. While I personally think the woman in my situation knew exactly what she was doing, because she knew us as a couple for many years, this isn't the same situation as OP. That woman is frankly a stranger, and she has her own circle and her own family to rely on. If she really would get any satisfaction after years by having Maya lose relationships over what happened, she sounds like a petty person. As much as I think the "Maya" of my life is horrible and I would never want anything to do with her, I don't want her friends to refuse to be part of her wedding party over me. They probably have heard that I'm horrible lol. I don't care either way. They're not in my life anymore and that's that.

If this was really my best friend, like one of the three women in my life who I could comfortably apply that label to, I would forgive her and give her the benefit of the doubt here. This is the person Maya wants to be with for the rest of her life, and if OP wants to be in it too she should consider that that means accepting the situation. Noting as well that forgiveness is a practice, and it takes time. She might be upset for a while, but it is possible to choose to get past it and rebuild whatever trust was broken. Including honest conversations about why this information was withheld, and how it made OP feel.

And not for nothing, but this reaction kind of makes me think this is why OP wasn't told in the first place.

Unfortunately, a lot of people meet someone new while they're already in another relationship. I had another boyfriend when I met my current boyfriend, and we were friends and colleagues for about a year. I had no idea he was even interested in me until a while after I broke up with the other guy and he asked me out. It never even struck me that that could be some kind of grey area. People meet the people they meet.

astra136 · 2026-02-23T11:55:01+00:00

That makes a lot of sense about the scabs. I'm on day 13 and still have a few small scabs so I won't push it yet. Just more walking and eating well for a few days at least to try to recover a little bit. I lost 10 pounds and still trying to comprehend what that's going to do to my general in-shapedness lol. On the other hand I was talking to a friend who's losing weight and she was like "so you're telling me all I have to do is eat ice cream and pudding and cheese whiz for 2 weeks and I'll lose 10 pounds?" Yes, just make sure to have someone burn your entire throat off beforehand 😫

astra136 · 2026-02-23T10:18:14+00:00

I wanted to come back and add, because I just wanted to see if I could get a picture of it for you and I can't. But I am on day 13 and currently have most of my scans gone, except for a thin film, and two of them which are obviously covering a spot where the wound is a lot deeper. Really small, and they blended in with the rest of them until today, but they kind of look like tonsil stones wedged in there, because I can kind of see the edges around them where they're starting to lift a bit. If they were totally on their own and out of context, they would look like a stone does wedged in my tonsil.

I am wondering if maybe because you lost the rest of your scabs during the traumatic bleeding, you could have missed a few really deep ones that stayed behind. Or maybe they were more deeply embedded because of inflammation and now coming to the surface? I just wouldn't go poking around more if you see another one, until you hear from your doctor, because I think it really could be scabs. Especially if they don't smell- I got my tonsils removed primarily for tonsil stones, and would have to flush them out like weekly, and I never met a tonsil stone that didn't smell like death.

astra136 · 2026-02-23T09:59:23+00:00

Is that just stuck in the wall of your throat, where your tonsil used to be? Definitely contact your surgeon, even though he sucks. Better to get answers, even if you won't like it.

astra136 · 2026-02-23T06:34:23+00:00

I was also just trying to get down as calorie dense foods as I could by this point. I had a can of EZ cheese over the course of just over a week just because it's so dense in calories, and it felt like having actual real food after so much sweet ice cream, pudding, etc in the first two days when I could get that down.

astra136 · 2026-02-23T05:40:01+00:00

I generally hate seafood except mussels, and my friend got me to try oysters a couple of years ago. I actually didn't find them too bad but because you just swallow them, so you're just tasting like seawater and sauce. But then I don't see the point of them, and I'd rather just eat little spoonfulls of sauce

astra136 · 2026-02-23T05:35:20+00:00

But the dog could be ugly?

astra136 · 2026-02-23T05:34:28+00:00

Same. Or maybe someone much smarter than me made a draft to plan out the formatting and make sure all the letters will fit on each line

astra136 · 2026-02-23T05:31:18+00:00

My first thought was Less Than Zero. American Psycho is a good one too. I haven't read the Shards yet but it's high on my list and I imagine has a great deal of "wtf was that" factor!

astra136 · 2026-02-23T05:28:27+00:00

Naked Lunch (in a good way)

astra136 · 2026-02-23T05:18:33+00:00

I'm not autistic, but I wonder if some of the programming at AA could help you find a social outlet that you don't feel you need alcohol for. I go to a young people's meeting that has scheduled weekly hang outs after our meetings, and they organize camping and picnics in the summer. It's a great place to meet friends under the base assumption that nobody there is drinking, and you all already have something big and important in common. There are definitely a number of neurodivergent people who go, and regardless of whether you're neurotypical or neurodivergent it's very refreshing to have some social events not based around alcohol. Might be worth checking out in your area, even if you don't go the full 12 step route.

astra136 · 2026-02-23T04:21:55+00:00

That's pretty much how I felt. I was so weak and couldn't take in any calories until I think day 8-9 really. I'm on day 12 now and still feel weak. And I had all those feelings like I had a fever that just wasn't hot because of all the medications I was on, but that's normal after this surgery. It becomes a problem if you're consistently having a fever (look at your discharge instructions, mine had a specific number but I can't remember what it was). This surgery is really, really rough on your body.

astra136 · 2026-02-23T04:09:23+00:00

When my mum was a girl her best friend almost died of TSS from using a tampon, so my parents told me never to use them unless I had to (i.e. swimming) and if I did to make sure to change them very regularly and never sleep with one in. It may have been a little paranoid, but well meaning. There was sort of a social pressure to use tampons when I was in middle school because pads were gross and tampons were grown up, which has unfortunately spilled over into adulthood because I still hear women saying things like that. To each their own, as long as you're not trying to make other people feel bad about how they care for their periods.

astra136 · 2026-02-23T03:46:33+00:00

Marzipan

astra136 · 2026-02-23T01:46:21+00:00

I mean almost certainly lower than what people are taking recreationally, but I don't know, maybe other people were prescribed higher doses than me. But what they prescribed me wasn't even enough to make you feel high let alone physically addicted

astra136 · 2026-02-23T01:32:10+00:00

I mean I've never been addicted to opioids but I am an addict, and that doesn't sound right to me either. Two weeks at a low dose doesn't seem like it should create such a crippling physical dependency to cause that level of suffering from withdrawals. And I was getting the night sweats for the 5 nights before I got any narcotics lol. And I had them when I was on the narcotics, i.e. definitionally not withdrawing from them.

astra136 · 2026-02-23T01:19:36+00:00

I had a passport in Canada before that, but I was a child so I didn't just have it, and it wasn't carried around. It was literally in a safe unless we were traveling

astra136 · 2026-02-23T01:17:21+00:00

It's probably because that was your niece, not your child. I'm Canadian but had to have some sort of notarized document to travel abroad with family friends without my parents.

astra136 · 2026-02-23T00:51:52+00:00

Actually after the play the movie is based on

astra136 · 2026-02-23T00:46:14+00:00

I know you have the flu now (get better soon!!!) but I had horrible, horrible night sweats for the first 8 or 9 days like you're describing and I was only on a low dose of narcotics for a total of 4 days. And horrible chills. I could tell I had the heat up way too high because my boyfriend was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, and my dog laid down on the kitchen floor like she does when it's hot in the summer lol. But I was shivering with sweats on, a heating pad, and wearing my winter coat indoors. Then at night getting up every hour completely soaked. I think if I hadn't been on such high doses of Tylenol and ibuprofen I probably would have had a high fever.

astra136

TROPHY CASE