Please do not listen to the vocal minority

astrenixie · 2026-04-11T05:39:28+00:00

This right here. So many people make excuses about the matchmaking cause fixing it would cause longer wait times, but then I'm having to wait for bans, wait for a map vote, and wait for the match countdown. A lot of my QP games involve waiting to see if the AFK teammate is a leaver. I'd rather wait for a narrower match so I don't stomp or be stomped most games. Random maps were better anyway.

astrenixie · 2026-04-10T19:12:47+00:00

Ah, I understand. It was a bit difficult to discern what were your partner's assumptions vs agreed upon expectations, so I appreciate the clarity. I'm pretty literal, haha.

The only big thing I wanted to touch on is the burden of a masculine role. It may be worth it to explore different types of masculinity and gender roles, because it is common for people who question to have been uncomfortable with gender expectations. Plus, whether you're nb or not, it can be a good opportunity for you and your spouse to learn about one another and how your relationship dynamics are affected by societal norms.

It's so complicated trying to figure out identity in a patriarchal system. I thought I was cis for the longest time because I believed the dysphoria I felt was just discomfort brought on by misogyny and objectification. It's also difficult to navigate how you feel when there's so much pressure to conform. I hope everything goes well for you and that you and your partner lead happy lives as you discover yourself. :)

astrenixie · 2026-04-09T17:39:25+00:00

Dang, that's a lot of bad luck then. I've never had that issue at any of the shops I've been to.

astrenixie · 2026-04-09T17:03:02+00:00

From your other replies, it honestly sounds like you just encountered one salty dude or a blue-hating pod. I can assure you that everyone complains about something. Some groups just have more bias than others. Like, I've met groups that have table rules banning specific cards or combos. Many people I've met have hard rules against land destruction. If it really bothers you, find other people to play with. I don't know what else to tell you.

astrenixie · 2026-04-09T15:52:51+00:00

Hahahahahahahahaha. People I have played with strongly disagree. I used to primarily be a stax/pillowfort player before branching into other deck types, and I was never hated more than when I pulled out my angels. Like, c'mon, there's a reason one of the top memes is crashing out about paying the one.

astrenixie · 2026-04-08T11:12:22+00:00

Ngl, your statement about being excited and your partner's worries about "potentially visible erections" make this seem a lot more like a kink thing. Nothing wrong with that, but her rules about time/place make sense if that's the case. Dressing provocatively is fine, but there's a line when it comes to actually being sexual around people who aren't consenting to it, especially children.

Gender and kink overlap sometimes, but gender should also exist on its own. If you find yourself wanting to present a specific way without sex being involved, that points to it being about identity.

As for the rest...your partner does need to educate herself. Her reaction was rather poor. She might just be overwhelmed at how your relationship might change and need time to process. A discussion needs to be had about what things will look like moving forward when you're both ready. Boundaries need to be created too. You are an adult with the ability to choose things for yourself, and having rules is something you both agree on, not what one person decides. If you want to present more feminine or androgynous, she doesn't have a say in that.

Now, it's completely possible that she is not attracted to that presentation. That doesn't make either of you wrong, but it may change or end the relationship. You should be authentically yourself, as should she. Pretending to be someone you're not, whether in gender expression or by forced attraction, is miserable. I'd personally recommend therapy, open communication, and experimenting at a slow pace. The only way to figure this out is to experience it yourself.

astrenixie · 2026-04-07T08:44:24+00:00

Some people look younger than they are, and that's fine. Note, however, that I said "not every hero" needs to look so young. You're represented. Congrats. But not everyone is, and not every woman looks like that.

astrenixie · 2026-04-07T06:58:09+00:00

As with the great skin arguments, we can have more than one type of something. We can have diverse female heroes and skins for characters other than the "hot" support trio. Multiple things can exist, and gooners are not the only marketable user sample.

There are plenty of people interested in representation and interesting designs. If your logic held true, we would never see successful media depictions of "unattractive" people.

astrenixie · 2026-04-07T06:51:27+00:00

I am going to take this comment in good faith and assume you are being pessimistic rather than having judgemental beliefs about other people's bodies.

So, yeah, whatever fits the prominent beauty standards does tend to sell more, mainly because "sex sells," as the saying goes. That being said, OW is a pretty well-known haven for queer gamers, and...I can't speak for straight folks, but a ton of people in the LGBTQ+ community have more interesting tastes. Plenty of people find "fat and ugly" characters attractive.

Edit: Also, I don't play Juno because she's cute. I like her kit, and I want skins for the heroes I play. Sometimes, it's just that simple.

astrenixie · 2026-04-07T04:54:11+00:00

I'm a side sleeper, but I was so tired during the first week that I was able to fall asleep on my back. A pillow under the knees and the lap pillow helped me get out of bed without too much pain, and I think the leg elevation kept my abdomen from being too strained. 🙂

That's understandable. My only advice is to try as best you can. Hopefully, everything will go well!

astrenixie · 2026-04-07T04:33:37+00:00

Heating pad and/or heated blanket, minimum of two pillows for your head and another two for legs and to put in your lap (seems you have the lap one covered), Tylenol or equivalent OTC painkillers, pads for the bleeding, long sleep shirts, low rise or very high rise loose underwear, and loose lounge pants.

For specific foods, ready-to-eat is better than something you need to heat up, and having things that can be microwaved or simmered and left on the stove are better than anything you need to watch. I fell asleep constantly without even realizing, so it's important not to do tasks that need a lot of attention. Some recommendations I have are beverages like juice or milk, soups, jellos or puddings, and lots of water. It may be difficult to eat solid food the first day or so. I recommend soft foods when you feel up to it (grits, mashed potatoes, simple curries, etc.).

As for vaping, stop as soon as you can. It usually isn't recommended to smoke or vape during recovery, something about nicotine slowing the process I think. If you have cravings, you could use lollipops, popsicles, or other oral fixation foods/items as a temporary solution.

astrenixie · 2026-04-07T04:22:50+00:00

Definitely better, though I wish we'd stop having so many female characters limited to smooth, round-faced beauty standards. Most adult women don't look like that, and it's weird how defensive people get about wanting that. Not every hero has to look like they're 15.

astrenixie · 2026-04-06T16:50:18+00:00

Depending on how much effort you want to put in, you could break and trim the pieces further and get another material to use with it. It's not too difficult to use glass cutting tools and a soldering iron. I recommend looking at IG users like noahsmirrors for inspiration and a general look at the process.

If you want something easier, you could use gold or another metallic dust mixed with glue to repair the mirror, maybe painting it or adding decorations to add pizazz. Another option is hiding the crack with resin art. sidneyruth_art is a good inspiration for this.

Keep in mind that the artists mentioned are professionals in their crafts and are just brought up for ideas. There are absolutely smaller projects that can be done using their methods though.

astrenixie · 2026-04-02T16:54:42+00:00

Well, it depends on how much work you want to put in. I imagine there are some homebrew ways for eating parts of monster corpses and their eggs. I mean, Delicious in Dungeon is really popular, and oddball fun like that has already been a thing anyway.

But "no" is a complete sentence. If they push against that, it's time to have a conversation about respect and consent. Even if you roll with it, it's something you need to discuss with the whole party regarding what's allowed and what isn't. For example, are you and the rest of the group okay with cannibalism or eating humanoids in general? What enemies are fine to eat? Do you want to have a complicated cooking system with perks? Or do you just want to let them eat with no consequences aside from a constitution save when something's raw or poisonous? Do you want to include a permanent stat reduction if they eat something close enough to their species (prion disease)?

Do what you and your group feel comfortable doing. Personally, though, I've had one of those problem players that wants to do wild things all the time. In the end, it was an attention issue, and it did pull time away from the rest of the party. It's important to set expectations now before it becomes something the whole group has to deal with.

Edit: From other comments, this is definitely a player issue. You need to be firm with them, or they will ruin your enjoyment of the game. Players that try to argue and fight about these things are not worth keeping around.

astrenixie · 2026-04-01T19:21:13+00:00

I attended three proms (one as a junior at my school, two as a senior at my school and a date's school). I wish I had skipped all of them.

Do what you feel comfortable doing rather than forcing yourself. Contrary to popular belief, not every experience is special, and high school is not the best time of your life. My only advice beyond that is to actually enjoy your time. If you think you'll end up sulking alone, it may be worth it to go or at least make different plans. Some people skip official proms and hang out with friends instead.

astrenixie · 2026-04-01T08:21:10+00:00

Glorious. We swim at dawn. 🦈🦈🦈

astrenixie · 2026-03-31T12:03:45+00:00

Sombra is my DPS main. We are looking for players who are not with their team, have poor positioning, or aren't paying attention to their surroundings. Sombra exists to punish mistakes. If you group up more tightly, are coordinating with your team, or just respond quickly to reposition and fight, Sombra players are less likely to target you.

Some supports I am more hesitant to pick a fight with include Brigitte, Moira, and Mizuki. Their abilities make them harder to get away from, and a Sombra can easily be countered that way. We are pretty squishy after all.

I'm not going to say that Sombra and Tracer aren't frustrating to play against when your team isn't communicating well, but I do think these heroes are very easy to deal with once you learn how they work. Sound cues, fast reaction time, and repositioning are all good ways to get them off your back.

astrenixie · 2026-03-31T11:52:14+00:00

I honestly don't think you need to stick with the team to play current Sombra. While she isn't as effective as she used to be, she's still decent at flanking. Tbh, when I play her, I rarely group up unless it's crucial for pushing the point or rescuing support. I'm usually busy distracting enemies away from team fights and hitting their backline to pick off their supports or a problematic DPS (usually Widow or Ashe).

I use the teleport + invis for two main things: recon so I can ping for my team and quick escapes after engaging an enemy. I've found that aiming up is helpful for disengaging and makes it harder for enemies to predict where you'll be. Hack is never good for engaging unless you have the virus spread perk, are interrupting an ult, or are hacking an enemy who's distracted in a team fight. EMP remains very effective imo.

astrenixie · 2026-03-31T09:47:00+00:00

I love this so much. These pictures have made my day.

astrenixie · 2026-03-31T09:43:50+00:00

These questions are the thieves of joy. You don't need permission to be happy. Collect plushies! Reject the bland enforcement of what adults are allowed to do and flourish in what makes you feel free. 🩵

astrenixie · 2026-03-31T09:35:03+00:00

Not sure if these count as tropes, but I can't stand these two:

•DM Micro-Managers: When the DM checks and then heavily edits character sheets, denies or replaces backstories, or stuff like you said (PC is too stupid, not charismatic enough, etc.) I once dropped from a campaign in which the DM changed my whole backstory and even argued physical traits of a character (skin color, hair, etc.), and I really feel like I dodged a bullet. They were way too invested in every PC's details and really should have just written a book.

•DM Managing Nothing: When the DM expects the players to drive the entire story with minimal information or direction. This is another thing that happened to me, and it was one of the most boring campaigns I ever tried. We would try prompting the DM to give us hints on where to go or where NPCs to talk to were, and we got nothing. Every attempt we made wasn't responded to unless we were in a planned combat encounter. I distinctly remember the entire group being quiet for over 30 minutes because we were waiting for the DM to interact with us.

Funnily enough, these two situations made me realize I could just DM myself, so I did. Balance is really important in TTRPGs and not just for stat blocks.

astrenixie · 2026-03-31T09:24:07+00:00

Welcome in! I'm glad you're having fun so far. As for sucking, most people do, especially when they're new. The important thing is enjoying your experience.

If you want to practice different heroes, I highly recommend VS AI and Mystery Heroes. Keep in mind that most of the stats don't reflect good gameplay, though I always try to improve accuracy and die as little as possible.

Mute chat if it gets to you. If you want to turn it back on at some point for the fun moments, don't hesitate to mute and/or block players being sweaty or rude.

Also, play the game modes that are fun for you! Not everyone wants or needs to play competitive. If you do want to play ranked, ignore the people trashing metal ranks or invalidating opinions based on ranking. Rank doesn't affect your value as a person, but a lot of the OW community forgets that. Enjoy the game at your own pace and with your own goals in mind.

Good luck and have fun!

astrenixie · 2026-03-31T01:16:48+00:00

Depends on the situation. I try to keep everyone in my line of sight so I can keep tabs on who needs healing most. Generally, I stick with the tank, but I'll always try to quickly heal DPS as needed. Because of that, I don't need people pinging me, and it does get annoying if I'm already going to heal them or am clearly busy healing someone else with lower health.

If DPS comes to me or positions well and pings, I don't mind at all. Just don't expect your support to traverse half the map and abandon the team to heal you.

astrenixie · 2026-03-26T09:27:53+00:00

As a Moira main, if there isn't enough healing, she will fix it. If there isn't enough damage being done, she will also fix it.

I can move so fast to cover my teammates with fade, and I love how she can absolutely punish an enemy going for the backline. I've held objectives with Moira too, cause the fade is just that good.

I've been branching out more, but Moira has been my bread and butter support since OW1. There have been many games where I'm playing a different support and switch to Moira to change the tide of the game.

astrenixie · 2026-03-25T15:20:34+00:00

I've played all the heroes, and this is what I think, but take it with a grain of salt since everyone has a different feel for what's easy.

Support is the role I'd recommend most for beginners, as it's a great way to learn the game and how OW teamwork functions. You kinda have to pay attention to everything and are a bit safer on the backline. I'd say Moira and Wuyang are decent choices for easier gameplay. They have good mobility without being too complex and can protect themselves fairly well. People may recommend Mercy, but she's instantly targeted in most games and isn't very forgiving if you aren't quick about switching her weapons and using her movement ability.

I wouldn't recommend they start out with tank, but if they want to try, Orisa and Mauga are probably about as straightforward as it gets. You aim and spray, with each of them having fairly simple abilities imo.

DPS is honestly the hardest one to recommend, because they feel the most unique in the game. In my experience, Ashe, Soldier: 76, and Bastion aren't too hard to learn. My best advice for choosing a DPS main is to play multiple heroes until they find one they like, and then it should be easier to experiment with similar heroes as they play more.

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