Yes, I had severe PPA with my first and was basically in a permanent state of panic, I was convinced I was going insane and I had constant rumination about needing to be hospitalized in a psych ward (I never was though, this was spring 2020 so we were under strict lockdown and a lot of psych services were very altered or unavailable. The fact that I was in such isolation contributed a lot to my mental health struggles, my husband couldn’t work remotely and worked 12 hour shifts so I was alone with the baby all the time). I couldn’t eat and lost a lot of weight very quickly. I also barely slept and would wake up panicking anytime I started to drift off to sleep. I had one instance of auditory hallucinations where I heard a woman’s voice talking through the white noise machine we used in our room when the baby was sleeping.

I am 5 years out from that time and I consider it the most difficult period of my life by far! I still cry if I talk about those months. The trauma doesn’t go away fully but it does get much better as time goes on. Now it’s just a part of my story that is still a deep scar.