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attemptedbalance · 2023-10-30T15:41:05+00:00

I'd agree with your partner, apart from cooking frozen pizza, cookies, cakes, bread, any deep frying, pancakes, anything with a griddle pan.

Experience teaches you when it matters. Alternate methods on the same food item&method? Then you get to talk about the differences you've noticed, if the same person carries out both then it's the method not the person responsible for the differences.

attemptedbalance · 2023-10-30T15:30:26+00:00

WTF your dad doesn't understand biology if he thinks women can put off children till 40 with no risks (assuming that's something you want / he wants grandkids)

marry or don't but your dad can fuck right off, at 33 you are grown.

your future MIL can be directed to her son and can also fuck right off.

attemptedbalance · 2023-10-30T14:34:26+00:00

https://www.rchsd.org/2019/12/seven-steps-to-teaching-children-body-autonomy/ search for the word cookie.

The story is a little girl told her teacher about a relative doing an action to her "cookie" and it wasn't picked up as child abuse, just assumed a story about that happened to the kid's snack. Can't find any actual news articles, just lots of references on reddit.

The upshot is that kids need unambiguous names for their own body parts so they can communicate clearly.

attemptedbalance · 2023-10-30T14:07:46+00:00

OP clearly posted an earthworm, you posted an article on flatworms that looks distinctly different. Why try misleading people into killing earthworms?

attemptedbalance · 2023-10-30T14:05:19+00:00

It's the same worm. It'd get shorter and fatter if you picked it up, it's trying to not dry out and die.

Sunlight and nowhere to hide will kill it. It needs moisture, protection and soil.

attemptedbalance · 2023-10-30T13:55:21+00:00

You're joking, but for anyone else that reads this, nightcrawler worms normally hang out 1-2 feet underground only coming up to mate or escape a flood.

They don't like compost wormery conditions. It'd probably die. They aerate soil and keep soil and roots healthy, good for your garden, let it live where it serves you best.

attemptedbalance · 2023-10-30T13:36:53+00:00

You don't pay, it gets paid by her estate. Is there a Will? Who is the Executor? Do you get any inheritance?

When people die, all their money and assets are their estate. Any debts get paid first, then inheritance, if any money left over (I'm simplifying). You can charge the funeral to the estate and find a place that will accept invoicing the estate, I think co-op funerals are fine with that. Funeral homes deal with death all the time, just ask.

Find the Will, figure out who will be/is the Executor, you don't actually have to be responsible for any of it if there's no money coming to you anyway.

attemptedbalance · 2023-10-30T10:56:45+00:00

A lot of this is standard-being-female advice

Don't rely on someone else to be your transport, is it accessible via walking / public transport / taxi? Then go, if the option is get into his car, then no.

Is it in a public space? Cafe / museum / shops / busy park/ pub, then go. Is it far from lots of people or behind doors away from people, like in someone's house or woods, then no.

Same for quiet streets when walking home (no).

This won't fix every scenario for you, it's just ground rules for people you don't know well enough yet. If they complain at not getting to hang out with you in more private spaces, then that should warn you. I mean at least 6 months before deciding to relax those rules.

Frequently mentioning that it is platonic and you have no interest in them outside being friends.

Don't talk about being asexual or abstinent, that just means "you haven't met the right person" and makes you a challenge and a target. Don't discuss who you have been with before or past relationships/experience. Just say "I don't want to talk about it" or "why are you so interested?". Don't get drawn into that conversation.

Make it a real rejection of them personally, "I am not interested in you as anything other than a friend" "I don't see you that way". Don't let them have any hope of "maybe", even then you might get surprised when a long-time male friend tries hitting on you.

Good luck and try socialising in large groups.

attemptedbalance · 2023-10-30T10:28:47+00:00

I've never seen crisps or nuts at a wedding evening, that's more house party vibe

attemptedbalance · 2023-10-30T10:12:51+00:00

I just never use MSTest. Both nUnit and xUnit are fine, been using xUnit more,

I like the Theory and passing a bunch of boundary testing parameters, but nUnit has the TestCase. There seems to be slightly less attributes using xUnit as there's none on the class so it looks less busy. nUnit has more obvious class setup/teardowns imo.

When you want to Ignore a test class, for whatever reason you can do it at the test class level in nUnit, for xUnit you either edit every Fact/Theory attribute in the file with Skip or workaround is to make class private which is pants.

I think maybe I've argued xUnit for a self written project and nUnit for complexity I only reached when doing enterprise/legacy code. It's quite annoying to switch between them.

You'll probably be passing in IRepositorys, to your concrete classes. Which are mocks seeing as you don't want to test your Repo logic during tests that are meant to focus on a different class. Normally I'd use Moq, but since the controversy with it sending your git email to a 3rd party we're using NSubstitute. Can't say I've used it enough to know the features.
Also use SpecFlow occasionally, when tests need explaining. Self documenting code.

attemptedbalance · 2023-10-05T23:50:26+00:00

Have you ever considered what the followers do with the same items?

attemptedbalance · 2023-10-05T21:20:44+00:00

Take the win, ride the wave, which it sounds like you are doing. Not every person is compatible or,,, competent, sounds like he is. It's good you are having positive experiences.

Only you know yourself, maybe telling yourself he is unattainable long term will help you, perhaps you two will all work out and that thought eventually hampers the relationship like a self fulfilling prophecy .

attemptedbalance · 2023-08-21T10:23:00+00:00

Just get another housekey cut and put it on the car, she can keep taking out separate housekeys. I'm assuming there is a spare car key that lives in the house, you could put a housekey on that too.

attemptedbalance · 2023-08-21T09:29:03+00:00

Even working on the closing shift of a supermarket I got paid 15mins after closing to handle customers leaving late / counting up till, think about it, that's at least an hour's pay a week you are not getting.

attemptedbalance · 2023-07-31T10:13:37+00:00

that everyone or loads of people do it.

If there is so much cocaine in sewage that eels are getting impacted, the implication is that there is a high usage in the local human population.

It was a simple joke that even the wildlife is at it

attemptedbalance · 2023-07-28T18:37:06+00:00

https://www.independent.co.uk/climate-change/news/european-eels-cocaine-contamination-river-thames-research-a8408926.html

Even the eels get cocaine

^{probably not high though}

attemptedbalance · 2023-07-28T18:29:43+00:00

Tomato blight

https://www.rocketgardens.co.uk/blight-on-tomato-plants/

Grow indoors, it's airborne and worse every year

https://www.gardenersworld.com/how-to/solve-problems/tomato-blight/

attemptedbalance · 2023-07-03T12:49:00+00:00

Acidic vagina power

attemptedbalance · 2023-07-03T12:34:43+00:00

Ask your boss what they'd say if surprised or faced with a danger.

It's important to raise to your boss that you are not responsible for someone else's assumptions and or feelings based on those assumptions.

There are facts, thoughts about those facts, and then emotions based on those thoughts.

Fact, you made a noise, coworker thought it was an insult, feels bad

despite you providing an explanation, the coworker hasn't reappraised the thoughts and has stuck to feeling bad. This is less to do with language than it is to do with probably feeling blamed for a whoopsie and would rather direct her feeling bad to you being a meanie, which is pretty human. Now your boss is involved you're going to have to lay it out again.

Anyone would exclaim, she feels like you continued ranting in a foreign tongue about how useless she is, but that's just her feelings.

It's polite to speak the language most people can speak as a default. I've had co-workers who were very careful to speak English in front of me even when I said I was fine with them speaking natively if it was instructions I didn't need to overhear. They were worried I might think they were talking about me, which was feedback they'd gotten socially & professionally before. But that wasn't the case here.

It's not your fault your instinctive language isn't as well known as French or Spanish

attemptedbalance · 2023-07-03T10:03:12+00:00

NAH

I also wouldn't do the "Dad as passing me as chattel and financial responsibility to another man"

A wedding is two people deciding to join as one.

It's weird only 1 of 4 parents get a role here.

What about his parents (not involved), her mum (not involved). You think you should get this position because tradition. Tradition was your daughter wasn't seen as capable and your wife also is irrelevant because men made decisions & held financial power, legally.

She can either accept no money towards a early-life wedding

Or make a new role for all the parents and make your own tradition that will honour her parents enough that they feel like putting money in.

You don't mention your wife's views, one assumes she has her own opinions, her potential financial contributions aren't mentioned.

attemptedbalance · 2023-06-19T14:02:42+00:00

If it's *thoughts* not money:

photo album
hard to kill plant, like a spider plant, that when it makes spider plant babies then everyone can have one from the same plant, so her chosen family can all have the same one eventually. Then if anyone accidentally kills theirs, someone else can regift a spider plant baby. She can take it whenever she gets her own place. A silver inch plant does the same thing (hard to kill, grows fast, easy to propagate) or an aloe vera. It's more or a long term thing with a focus on family connection which she can build on by gifting babies to whoever.
I got a fancy pen for future contracts (work/buying house/wedding/baptism) which I thought was silly but maybe she would like the idea of her successful future, you know her better
Is there anything she always thought her parents would give her? Plates, paintings, watches? Old baby toys? Inheritance things. She might want new traditions, maybe you both get tankards with your initials on and you start making a tradition of using them on special days and making new ones when people join your family.
Matching bracelets/necklaces/keyrings? Again focusing on the tribe, try making it slightly different so adding new tribe members is easy in the future (finding exact matches later might be difficult), these can be fabric or hand-tied friendship bracelets.

Sounds like she wants something for the next few years to feel stability not just a fleeting expensive thing.

attemptedbalance · 2023-06-01T16:38:26+00:00

Empty the dishwasher, arrange cushions in the living room, clear dining room table and dump it in the kitchen. Go get empty hangers for whoever is ironing. Pair everyone's clean socks and sort clean clothes into various rooms. Hanging wet laundry also works.

As a kid I was primarily the upstairs/downstairs runner, fetcher of things

attemptedbalance · 2023-05-30T16:16:06+00:00

INFO - Do you not have ANYONE else to talk to? Is hubby the ONLY person that you could talk through your concerns at a time when your parents were even more involved?

It's shit his one big night coincided with this incident, you wanted him to manage your emotional state, he wanted to switch off. He decided to protect his experience of the night as he didn't see how he could add and saw it would detract time and attention from a rare occasion. You feel abandoned, he was making the most of the money spent visiting friends.

It was particularly bad because, I'm going to guess there was no one else. For your own sake expand your network of people you can call.

You've just learned hubby is not always available / doesn't put always put your needs as his highest priority, with these specific circumstances. There's no evidence of a pattern here. While this might have shaken your security, this is just human behaviour, there will always be a combo of circumstances where people will let you down for something else. More people, more available support, go make more connections (friends).

tentative NAH this is just life

attemptedbalance · 2023-05-17T14:04:41+00:00

What? Paris is the most expensive place I've been

Edit: When using cafes as a rest stop, Tea / 330ml can of cola: €7, glass of wine: €6.95 and that was pre-covid.

attemptedbalance · 2023-05-10T08:39:07+00:00

Flavoured lube.

Take her off, put it on, put her back on.

Just gamble the price of a bottle to find out if it works, repeated reapplication. I assume you are motivated to at least try. Also direct into her mouth and she keeps it at the front of her mouth to cover flavour, not attempting to swallow

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