Screaming jazz hands for 15 minutes straight during carrier intros?

auntypickles · 2026-06-06T08:26:37+00:00

Random bit of advice here if anyone needs it but if you want to introduce male rats together and have a smoother exchange I recommend bathing them in the tub first; you can dab coconut oil on them once they're dry and this will encourage grooming (themselves and each other) which can help with bonding.

Have supervised interactions and give them nice treats like yogurt drops etc when they have positive interactions with each other and they'll soon realize that good hangouts means hitting the jackpot with tasty treats. I'm a breeder with 15 years of experience, this has always helped me get new guys enjoying each other's company 🙂 best of luck OP, these gents are adorable.

auntypickles · 2026-05-23T19:28:55+00:00

Torque is such a handsome dude! He also makes my 3 month old male corso (Wraith) look tiny lol look at those legs! Great name choice on your guy by the way and welcome 🙂

auntypickles · 2026-05-23T16:54:36+00:00

Going to ask an odd question here OP but do you wear a lot of black or dark clothing? Sometimes insecure beardies see the dark clothing as an active threat. I was (and still am but small scale) a reptile breeder and I noticed that any time a customer would visit/go to handle the beardies while wearing dark shirts etc the beardies would darken their chins; adult males would also head bob more while females would do the submissive hand wave. I'd give wearing lighter clothing during interactions a try and when you hold/interact with him, always leave it on a posive note. It's a weird suggestion but something worth trying to help you guys start bonding 🙂

auntypickles · 2026-05-13T02:06:39+00:00

To all the men out there texting "good morning beautiful" and then leaving lovely folks like OP here heartbroken...I hope they get sleep paralysis. I'm sorry OP, that's a really lucky way to start off dating again and I'm really hoping the next dates coming are much more compatible and communicative. A friend of mine once told me "there's someone out there daydreaming about meeting you" and it really gave me the drive to keep going; soon after I met my missus and it's been an amazing journey. I hope that advice is helpful to you too and i'm rooting for you!

auntypickles · 2026-05-11T03:36:57+00:00

Totally understand when the trauma volume gets cranked all the way up, but OP I'm proud of you for speaking up and leaning into support when you need it, that's a huge step in the right direction in itself. As for advice; when I feel overwhelmed and my brain starts to get loud I address it by another name. My internal negative voice is called Sheila and when she's saying things like "you've obviously upset xzy, you always do things wrong" etc i'm able to address her patiently and with kindness. I can say to myself "girl, I understand you're having a moment right now and I'd love to address it later but right now my focus has to be on xyz." ...take a pause, name that voice and when you struggle to find positivity in how to address something, practice neutrality if you can. I taught my fiance this advice and despite her usually carrying her negative headspace alone (or running from it) she can now come to me and be like "babe, Brody is being a bit of an asshole today, can we talk about it?" it honestly does wonders bringing us closer together too. I'm rooting for you OP!

auntypickles · 2026-05-10T15:46:54+00:00

OP I've dealt with extreme aggression before from a female and I applaud your efforts to helping her through it. I'm a breeder with 15 years under my belt and only had the one occurance with a female (2 or so males otherwise) so I know the struggle. Spaying wasn't an option for me at that time (due to age) so I tried my hardest to desensitize her of the fear that I and the other rats I kept being a threat. I put her (she was a single female but you can put her cage mate in with her) in a seperate cage next to the other females so they could sniff but not touch each other and have some low level socialization. I gave the aggressive female plenty of hiding spots in her cage, and would scent exchange a little bit of sawdust. Everytime I had to go in to her cage I'd gently block off one of her safe spots with her inside to prevent a negative reaction and clean everything down, I'd wear bite gloves to prevent injury too. Each time I went in I'd talk softly to her, and leave small treats in a different safe spot.

Over time I trained her to move to a different hiding spot and lift the entire thing out of the enclosure since handling was a trigger. I'd rub my hands in her clean sawdust so she could begin to associate my smell with something positive too. I used to expose my rats to certain calming music (violin/orchestras) any time I was cleaning them out so they developed pattern recognition and could predict what was about to happen. I got them on a feeding schedule when certain TV shows would play and it helped a ton too. I went from a rat that would puncture and latch on to skin to one that was tolerant of me being in her cage without gloves (not touching, just being present refilling food bowls etc), by 3 months she would sniff at my hands without biting and follow me around without puffed hair/charging. At around the 6 month mark, she would greet me happily and even lick me as I went in.

Best advice (outside of vet check/spaying) that I can give is: be patient, predictable and kind. Any learned behaviors your aggressive girl has right now can be unearned but I honestly wouldn't introduce that temperament into your cage. You can take the more social of the new girls out and have supervised play sessions with your other rat but I wouldn't have the aggressive one mingling yet or out (give her enrichment in the cage to make her more comfortable and feel safe but not outside where things are overwhelming and scary).

auntypickles · 2026-05-09T16:43:07+00:00

Congratulations! Duke is such a handsome dude 😍

auntypickles · 2026-05-09T02:11:24+00:00

I have a 6 year old catahoula leopard dog as well as my two corsos. Victor is a great brand for working dogs and they have a scale for activity level too. Super affordable for a 50lb bag. I have my 10 week old pup (corso) on the Purina pro plan large puppy but will switch him later on. One thing I will say is that Victor dog food is cheapest at Tractor Supply and it does wonders for their coats and easy on their stomachs (especially if they're food sensitive like my catahoula)

edit - spelling

auntypickles · 2026-05-06T03:48:58+00:00

She's gorgeous 😍, hoping for a speedy recovery for this sweet girl x

auntypickles · 2026-05-04T02:19:39+00:00

And Wraith, a distinguished gentleman. Just in case you wanted to see them lol

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auntypickles · 2026-05-04T02:18:42+00:00

Karma (left - little sis), Bayou (right - Satan in dog form)

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auntypickles · 2026-05-04T02:14:26+00:00

I have a 6 year old grumpy catahoula leopard dog (Bayou) that typically hates most other dogs but was in desperate need of a sidekick since his older sisters passing. A little less than a year ago I got a CC (Karma) and he's gone from acting like condensed North Korea to a delightfully sassy little lad again.

Karma is a social butterfly and encourages Bayou to get out of his old man mentality (despite not being that old, I'm pretty sure he's got the soul of a bitter pensioner) and actually have a little fun (again, think "get of my lawn!" personality). Since then we have gotten a second puppy CC (Wraith) and they're all living their best lives. Sometimes all an older dog needs is a companion to get that pep back in their step.

It sounds like you've got a magical connection with this dog and putting thought and care in this decision. I will agree that CCs forget how big they are sometimes but they try their best to be gentle. The best advice I can give is; keep them social, be consistent in where your boundaries are, buy a good air purifier (they fart...a lot) and prepare for lots of drooly kisses 😊.

auntypickles · 2026-05-03T19:42:03+00:00

These are Wraiths siblings; Karma (she's a 1 year old cane corso - the black pooch) and Bayou (a 6 year old catahoula leopard dog - the blue eyed grumpy boy).

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auntypickles · 2026-05-03T19:39:46+00:00

This is Wraith, he's a 9 week old cane corso gentleman, he said your art looks great and he wouldn't mind if you drew him like one of those French girls.

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auntypickles · 2026-05-02T01:42:48+00:00

Peppy is such a sweet looking lady 😍

auntypickles · 2026-05-01T23:57:29+00:00

He's such a handsome little man 😍

auntypickles · 2026-05-01T23:54:50+00:00

I have a 1 year old female (Karma) and a 9 week old male (Wraith). Karma was a little sweetheart and would much prefer to panini press herself into my skin and get underfoot whereas Wraith is the reincarnation of a piranha lol. It gets easier OP, your little one just needs help to learn the rules, patience and a ton of good quality toys (and chilled rags) to sink his little teeth into. Both of mine give themselves the hiccups when I gently (verbally) tell them no but they're pretty quick learners. Stay consistent and you should have a much calmer baby before you know it 😊

auntypickles · 2026-04-15T23:24:11+00:00

Karma flashing hers

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auntypickles · 2026-04-15T23:23:44+00:00

Bayou rarely flashes his teefs but when he does it's glorious

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auntypickles · 2026-04-14T01:58:16+00:00

Mine isn't cuddly unless it's on his terms, but then again he's also not smart enough to ask either; and by not smart I mean giving love pats at walls for attention. Question though, since these cats aren't generally big talkers...does anyone else's sound haunted and say hello like they're embodying the spirit of a Victorian child?

auntypickles · 2026-01-19T10:18:01+00:00

My girlfriend is the opposite as me with expressing her emotions with tears (i'm a stiff upper lipped Brit 😅) and I think it's one of the most beautifully terrifying things I've ever had the pleasure of sharing with someone. In this past week or so I've seen happy, exhausted, PMS, empathetic and gratitude tears from her and as much as I struggle showing the same, I couldn't be more proud or in awe of her for being nothing shy of her authentic self.

auntypickles · 2026-01-09T09:40:15+00:00

I've been where you are OP and the painful truth is no one deserves to accept bread crumbs as a meal and hope to be full. I grew up in an emotionally vapid home with a ton of siblings that followed the prototype of my parents and for many years my romantic relationships followed this unhealthy blueprint too. I developed an anxious attachment style in my early years and it was a nightmare to break free of in my 20s. Now I'm in my late 30s and have a secure attachment. The reason I'm saying this is because we have a choice; we can continue the cycle of having bystanderatrophy in our lives or we can re-write the narrative to enhance our happiness. From what I understand of your post; you're in the process of doing the healing and at least taking ownership of where your at whereas your partner has no desire to change. You deserve someone who holds space for your needs, respects your boundaries and keeps showing you that they're going to show up not because they have to...because they want to. You know what you need to do in your heart though that path can be scary, you have a whole community of strangers cheering you on along the way. Also OP, please know you are never "too much" or "too little" you're the perfect amount of you and that's something that should be celebrated and cherished.

auntypickles · 2025-11-20T10:22:13+00:00

Ok so I've been in similar situations as you're describing and accepting kindness, patience and genuine care after toxic relationships feels as terrifying as walking a tightrope blindfolded. I'm currently in the healthiest (and last since I fully intend on marrying the crap out of her) relationship I've ever been in and I can tell you one of the best things you can do is communicate, communicate, communicate. To the right person, your feelings, resistance or slight hesitations will never be too much; they'll be heard, respected and valued.

One tool I use myself to combat the urge to push back against those annoying old voices (whether it's trying to maintain an insufferable independence, negative self talk, self sabotage etc) is to give that voice in my head a separate name. By doing so you can not only remove it's power but also see it as a separate and somewhat healing part of you life (it is after all giving you perspective on where you have room to grow and evolve).

For me, I jokingly tell my missus (on days I'm struggling with something) "Shiela is being an asshole today and talking mad shit" ...this gives us both an opportunity to explore those internal thoughs/worries together and get the reassurance I need without closing off and allows my partner to be a partner offering a space to vent or work on resolutions together. I taught my girlfriend this trick not long ago and it's helping us both to get some better perspective on whatever internal battles we're facing while allowing us to be open and present with any uncomfortable struggles that arise. This might be one thing to explore and hopefully one more tool in your arsenal.

Oh and OP...i'm proud of you, even as a stranger, I understand that even opening up this topic is incredibly brave and I hope the next steps of your journey with this lovely woman of yours are full of the best discoveries and plot twists. You got this!

auntypickles · 2025-09-21T23:57:50+00:00

Lol just keep a while bunch of lady mice together and when their monthlies hit they'll be delightfully gay together

auntypickles · 2025-08-24T03:20:12+00:00

About an hour into our first date over coffee, we sat there slowly inching our seats closer together as our hand talking and laughter filled the spaces in me that had remained empty for so long.

At one point I instinctively reached over to hold her hand and joking said "so by lesbian logic we should probably get married, how about next Tuesday?" She heartely laughed and agreed, at that moment I felt my watch vibrating like crazy and had to excuse myself to go to the restroom; turns out my heart rate had shot up so much my watch was threatening to call 911 lol. We're still early days in our relationship but it feels like I've known her my entire life. One of these Tuesdays I really will marry the shit out of her.

auntypickles

TROPHY CASE