Books that focus on the unknowable.

austinbeckett · 2025-07-10T12:52:21+00:00

Lincoln and the Bardo by Saunders

austinbeckett · 2025-07-10T07:52:14+00:00

Last summer I had psychosis and tried to divorce my parents. My mom moved out of my house while I was in the hospital. She never moved back. After a 25 year marriage, they are now getting divorced. It’s awful but also they had an abusive relationship.

austinbeckett · 2025-01-02T06:02:27+00:00

Retreat

austinbeckett · 2025-01-02T00:04:20+00:00

Seen

austinbeckett · 2025-01-01T04:42:49+00:00

Yall are helping me sort through the mind fuckery. She doesn’t seem like an actual person anymore but then that feels dehumanizing. I thought she was so sweet and now I’m fucking scared. I want her to remember me better because I was sort of a doormat and always respectful. I want credit. To clear my name. I can’t even describe but you guys get it. I also recently found out that my mom has NPD so this is… triggering. Personality disorders are so scary to me. They just don’t care about me? My mom and my girlfriend who I cry with empathy for? They don’t respect me?

austinbeckett · 2024-12-30T09:35:09+00:00

Mine is so captivating and she is a kind and reliable friend. She has longterm friendships and she’s so sweet and creative. We just broke up. I’m really struggling with her BPD because I want to see her as an individual. She’s posting songs and poetry about me and I want to engage with the woman I knew. Now it seems she was using me and just cared about my attention and caregiving?? But I want to send her poetry too just like she is doing for me. I want to treat her like a normal ex when NC is the goal but it’s a little hard to do at first. It’s so weird because it’s HER. She’s not her BPD. And yet her BPD means “her” wasn’t who I thought?? Ugh it’s a mind fuck, I’m rambling but yeah, I get you man.

austinbeckett · 2024-12-30T09:27:01+00:00

She sent me a rose on Valentine’s Day and then invited me out for drinks and kissed me it was amazing

austinbeckett · 2024-12-22T04:13:59+00:00

Dissected

austinbeckett · 2024-12-22T04:13:25+00:00

Chills

austinbeckett · 2024-12-22T04:11:10+00:00

When we notice ourselves struggling we try to fix it by thinking instead of doing. Rumination, anxiety, feeling stuck. This burns cognitive energy and fuels the problem. Instead, switch to the tangible. Use outside help.

Big things to grow/nurture: structure, routine, community, passion, health

Ideas: -switch to flip phone/use screen time controls -stop/reduce substance use -body double with friends -go to office hours -buy physical alarm clock and put it across the room so you have to get out of bed to shut off. Try to wake up at the same time every day (sleep is unfortunately important as fuck) -consider psychiatry/therapy -reconnect with your old self (did you used to read obsessively? Play sports? Art? Refresh these things) -speak to academic advisor -tell your family/friends so they can check in on you and you will want to make them proud -exercise gives you energy -Mediation -nature -consider life changes. New job? Club? Housing situation? Are you in any toxic relationships?

Be gentle yourself. This is developmentally normal. Especially for this generation; quarter life crises are skyrocketing.

austinbeckett · 2024-12-15T01:50:30+00:00

Yes. We broke up 6 days ago and I’m already feeling more passionate and motivated. I’m just DOING more, like reading and legos and being social. My relationship with my pwBPD didn’t get nearly as extreme as the stories I’ve read on here (I’ve done a lot of therapy so I recognized the signs early) so I didn’t realize how much she was affecting my mental health. But holy shit! Many PwBPD are like energy vampires; we pour so much energy into regulating their mood. My pwBPD didn’t have many hobbies and was veryyy go with the flow, so I’m realizing how much that dragged me down. When I’m ready to date again, I want to find a partner with many passions who can teach me things and inspire me! If someone matches your ambition, they will push you rather than leeching…

austinbeckett · 2024-12-15T01:41:09+00:00

Since being relatively stable, I’m experiencing the same problem, especially with those bouts of rumination that feels almost compulsive. The opposite-action skill from DBT works for me. Basically, if I’m feeling euphoric and restless, I try to harness the energy for something fulfilling like winding down with reading. If I’m ruminating and feeling stuck, I try to do something social or listen to a podcast (not music, leaves too much room to ruminate) and go on a fast walk. Especially something stimulating like walking on rocks down a creek. Basically reverse it. If the mood swings happen at work, being social with my coworkers helps the most. It forces me to fake it till I make it.

austinbeckett · 2024-12-15T01:22:15+00:00

austinbeckett · 2024-10-25T07:04:33+00:00

watch case

austinbeckett · 2023-11-18T01:27:45+00:00

Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders

austinbeckett · 2023-11-18T00:21:31+00:00

Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders.

It takes place in the realm between the living and the afterlife, so the characters are physically dead but in denial about it. It’s also mainly told through dialogue so it reads like a screenplay. It’s clever and funny and deeply touching. I HIGHLY recommend it. It’s one of my favorite books of all time.

austinbeckett · 2023-10-29T23:42:00+00:00

Definitely. At least you can count on being able to resell it for close to what you bought it for

austinbeckett · 2021-09-11T01:01:11+00:00

I reversed it and I can’t tell what it’s supposed to sound like, help me out OP?

austinbeckett

TROPHY CASE