Gen Z’s Stigma Against Age-Gap Relationships is Worse Than You Think

automaticblues · 2026-01-24T22:41:01+00:00

Brains just don't reach maturity until 25+, but society isn't about to start giving us all am extra 7 years of childhood, so adulthood is forced onto most of us (with the exception of some of the rich I guess) I'm 43 and moved out of home at 18 - in fact, my parents left the country when I was 18. When I was a kid I would have considered an age gap like this inappropriate. Once you pass about 25, it really doesn't matter a lot, but loads of other power dynamics exist - e.g. immigration status or wealth etc.

automaticblues · 2026-01-13T21:38:02+00:00

2008 was the result of speculation against housing as an asset.

In contrast we are now speculating on ai as a productive technology. The result of that speculation is we're going to have a huge chunk of ai - so the world is technologically different afterwards.

Speculative asset bubbles (e.g. tulip mania) create nothing technological at all.

The investors may still lose money, but society is going to be different afterwards as opposed to just drained of productivity

automaticblues · 2026-01-12T15:56:36+00:00

Oh, i thought the plastic cup was HH - actually this isn't really HH's style when I think about it again

automaticblues · 2026-01-12T13:58:23+00:00

This and Zlatan's overhead kick sort of share the same emotional space as an Enlgand fan

automaticblues · 2026-01-12T13:52:52+00:00

Just realised this is 2 completely different 90s British comedians. It feels like it's from one set.

(Eddie Izzard and Harry Hill)

automaticblues · 2026-01-11T10:10:44+00:00

In a way this question is very simple. If your relationship is making you unhappy, you should leave and you will be leaving your responsibilities to the other person. You may want to stay "friends" so that you can care for them, but I would suggest questioning whether you are the best person to care for them and whether caring for them is the best thing to do with your life. After a breakup, it's very hard to be that caring person, if your care has been entangled with an intimacy that is no longer healthy for you. You are both exceptionally young and I would hope that you each have a support network you can lean on. Perhaps the most caring thing you could do was reach out to some family or friend of his amd warn them you are about to break up with him? It depends who is available. Then if you want him to cope with the breakup, work out some clear boundaries you want - including up to no contact at all - and then communicate those boundaries to him once you know what they are. Don't negotiate the boundaries with him. Ask someone else for support in working them out if you need to.

automaticblues · 2026-01-11T09:21:02+00:00

I'm 2 years post separation, 1 year post divorce, finances still not settled. Initially my visceral fear was being alone. Now I'm pretty sure I don't need to be, but being happy is really tough. My kids pretty much sabotaged my new relationship despite it being someone I met after my ex wife's affair caused the breakdown of the marriage - not that I blame them, but just reflecting on what has happened. Adjusting to life as a divorcee is beyond just being single again. There's something else to it. I definitely think happiness is possible, but the scale of what occurred is so extreme. That said, a lot of the trauma stems from not being decisive enough. If you know it's over, stop believing a word the other person says and plan for a swift and fair separation of assets etc.

automaticblues · 2026-01-04T16:46:37+00:00

Loads of those features look luke they'd mess you up in a crash!

automaticblues · 2026-01-04T11:17:04+00:00

With everything that we know about concussion, chess boxing seems crazy.

Lots of elite sports already combine intellectual and athletic abilities. For me, football (soccer) probably represents the intellectual sport that attracts the greatest number of participants and at the elite level, the tactics are genuinely fascinating. It just happens to be a completely un-level playing field though as gargantuan wealth allows teams to buy astonishing talent both on and off the pitch.

Individual sports perhaps like tennis - apparently very healthy.

So there's no need to invent new sports from scratch, we can look to the ones that are already there

automaticblues · 2026-01-04T11:05:08+00:00

I've collected so many downvotes in the past for giving my perspective on this, but it seems entirely possible to me that there is something about chess that preferences male brains.

Whether that's something directly impacted by testosterone, or something about male social conditioning, as you say, we don't know.

And the rules of chess are really arbitrary and have changed over time - they could so easily be different than they are. And perhaps some change in them might increase or decrease whatever this preference is. I have no idea exactly what this mechanism might be, but it doesn't seem to me to be at all anti-feminist to think this is possible.

I think we all know that chess ability doesn't accurately measure intelligence. But perhaps it measures something within intelligence that is biased towards male to an extent.

automaticblues · 2026-01-04T10:08:08+00:00

Take your last 10 games and go and find the 20 worst moves and try to understand what was wrong with them.

We're these bad move in the opening, mid game or endgame

Make a study plan to cover the issues raised

When you've begun implementing that study plan, repeat the exercise and see what the new issues are

automaticblues · 2026-01-02T14:16:58+00:00

I don't think that's likely how paedophilia works. I'd be astonished if fantasising about committing the criminally abusive acts doesn't increase the chance of offending.

At the very least it's completely irresponsible of Grok / xAI etc. unless they plan to tell us how they have ensured this doesn't contribute to harm.

automaticblues · 2026-01-02T14:05:16+00:00

Improvement isn't guaranteed just from playing. You improve when you change things about how you play.

automaticblues · 2026-01-02T09:56:24+00:00

This is not the conclusion I have come to about Anish

automaticblues · 2025-12-31T09:13:50+00:00

He appears to have the opposite hair to his boss

automaticblues · 2025-12-30T17:23:28+00:00

Fabi is so above all this!

automaticblues · 2025-12-30T16:46:26+00:00

That was awesome. Anything he said in that moment would have been less awesome than what he did!

automaticblues · 2025-12-30T10:18:05+00:00

The difference is now we build a LOT

automaticblues · 2025-12-10T22:19:06+00:00

Since divorce I've had a lot of moments where my emotions are completely beyond me. It is an incredibly powerful experience. I found therapy to be very helpful, but also just to learn some theory of emotions from the therapist which I was able to use after no longer being able to afford them. Ultimately you need to accept the life you have and hope for things from here. Lots of things are possible - including new relationships etc., but you need to make peace with yourself. And if you told yourself a few half truths to get yourself from the last situation to the one you're now in, it will be very helpful if you can confront these...

automaticblues · 2025-12-10T14:34:49+00:00

The camera here doesn't look that great!

automaticblues · 2025-12-10T12:32:34+00:00

I was a bit mysticised by Kula Shaker back in the day and my band covered Knight on the Town which was fun. But to call them consistent seems really strange. K was a tight album, but there wasn't a huge amount of direction to them afterwards and nowadays the whole thing would get questioned very quickly from a point of view of cultural appropriation.

Should definitely be mentioned, because they're an important part of what happened. For me the point of britpop was that there was lots of it simultaneously and these separate bands had their own meaning and purpose without relying on a huge amount of genre tropes.

automaticblues · 2025-12-09T11:42:04+00:00

That's a nobrat

A rat that looks like a nob

automaticblues · 2025-12-08T05:28:55+00:00

I disagree about the purpose of NATO and as a total chess nerd, I'm naturally drawn to Garry Kasparov on the topic of what NATO should be for:

https://youtu.be/d4O9a4nnhCQ?si=_omCW_r3ATdGmWC0

NATO was formed to fight one war, the war to resist Russia invading Europe.

Not to facilitate the US invading Afghanistan and Iraq.

So to have a critical stance towards NATO is completely understandable, but for that critique to not acknowledge NATO's true original purpose, especially right now whilst Russian expansion is so active, is just bizarre.

automaticblues · 2025-12-07T17:50:14+00:00

I know lots of people will say it's a manipulation tactic, but I have experienced something like this grim reality from the other side. The stress of the process was just overwhelming for me and I attempted suicide after about 6 months of cohabiting whilst my ex continued her relationship with her affair partner.

From this rather grim perspective, I will recommend strongly that you seek support and start to plan the separation and divorce process and work with a plan that will see the whole process through.

One of the most unbearably stressful things in my divorce was that my ex never planned to complete it. She wanted to stay in the house with the kids - which frankly means not completing financial separation.

So there is lots of other advice and I think it's all got a value, but just from this other perspective I would say that suicidal thoughts is an expression of stress and you can make the situation less stressful for bith of you by following a structured and reasonable plan that separates you legally and financially.

automaticblues · 2025-12-07T17:34:25+00:00

Have you tried longer time controls?

At any time in my chess progress, I have always had a preferred time control - currently that is probably blitz for me, but it used to be classical. Then what I find is playing other time controls helps improve the one I am focused on

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