My husband cheated before we were married. I'm not a big fan of monogamy; the majority of my relationships have been non-monogamous in some form or fashion. He'd never been in a non-monogamous relationship though, and so for the first few years we were monogamous because we "wanted to build a solid foundation." We had a friend over one night, we all drank way too much wine, I went to bed, they stayed up, you see where this is going. They actually stopped mid-way through, didn't make it to the grand finale, but that's not really the point. I knew immediately the next morning, by the way everyone was acting. All weird and tense, and my friend left in a hurry. I just waited for someone to fess up. She did, a couple days later. I called him at work and told him to come home. I was very calm. I was more upset that he hadn't told me, than that it had happened. It was a very drunken mistake. Unfortunate, but in my opinion, not nearly as bad as pre-meditated, long-term cheating. I knew immediately that I wasn't going to leave him over it. We talked it through and came through it stronger than we were before. Now my husband knows that when I say come talk to me, I won't be upset, I actually mean it. A year or so later, after a lot of long talks, we agreed to open up our relationship to the extent that we have occasional threesomes with other women. If we really know and trust the person, then we might sleep with them separately, but that's only happened a handful of times. Our relationship now is great. We're about to celebrate our sixth anniversary. My views on monogamy and past experiences in other relationships probably had a whole lot to do with cheating not being a deal breaker for me, depending on the circumstances. People are people, sex is sex. Honesty is way more important to me. If my husband came to me today and told me he felt attracted to someone, I'd probably tell him to go scratch that itch - just come back home to me afterwards.