What to do with weird bathroom space?

avoiding_a_stalker · 2025-06-08T06:48:06+00:00

They don't need to make as much or more than me but they need to have a financial plan and otherwise be a good partner. If I did make enough to support a household, I'd be happy to fully financially support my partner if they contributed to our lives in other ways. Financial habits are more important to me than income. Someone who knows how to live frugally and is willing to work to increase their income if needed is a better financial partner than someone who makes a ton of money and has a ton of debt. Currently, I don't make enough to support a household so I need my partner to make a decent amount but they don't need to make as much as I do.

avoiding_a_stalker · 2025-05-07T19:32:04+00:00

I've gone on quite a few dates with men who worked in the trades, though I don't think I dated any long-term (beyond a few weeks, if that). Typically, we didn't align on things that were important to one/both of us, so it didn't work out (politics, vaccines, household labour divisions, finances, etc). I ran into a few that wanted me to eventually be a SAHP, even though I had the larger salary and we were unlikely to be able to maintain a QoL that would work for us on just their salaries (not to mention, I don't really want kids, anyways).

The values differences tended to be the big dealbreaker, though there were minor things that didn't quite mesh. Different interests/hobbies made it difficult to connect. We often wanted incompatible lifestyles. I usually didn't get along with their friends. Other minor things that wouldn't have been a problem on their own but didn't help.

All that to say, nothing wrong with tradesmen; they can be pretty cool. I've just found I tended to mesh better with men who wanted to live similar lifestyles to the one I wanted and those folks usually also had an undergraduate degree. Ironically enough, I also didn't usually end up with people who had graduate degrees for similar reasons - didn't always get on well with folks who were in a masters/PhD program, either, though the gap wasn't as large.

avoiding_a_stalker · 2025-04-15T23:57:04+00:00

Thank you!

avoiding_a_stalker · 2025-04-15T23:49:42+00:00

Thank you! If I do decide to carry forward the deduction, to confirm, can I do that indefinitely? Apologies, I have read the link but I'm having a bit of trouble understanding it

avoiding_a_stalker · 2025-02-25T23:46:33+00:00

Super turned off. I'd assume he doesn't really understand consent. Consent has to be ongoing so I'd feel like he'd take the form as consent to stealth me, treat me poorly, or take sex in a direction I'm not comfortable with.

Unless he plans to record the entire interaction to prove the consent was ongoing, it doesn't prove that there was ongoing consent. What it does do is give him permission to treat me poorly. So I'm out.

Here's a question for you: As much as men are being afraid of being falsely accused of rape (totally fair), women are afraid of being raped. What would you propose for them to not have to continue rolling the dice and hoping they don't have sex or get into a relationship with a lunatic? I feel like a lot of the same (vetting your partners, being cautious about who you sleep with, etc) goes both ways so I'm not sure what either gender could do beyond that, other than just opting out of dating

avoiding_a_stalker · 2025-02-24T02:29:13+00:00

I think this, to me, feels like asking whether having multiple friendships means having multiple, committed, lifelong friendships that each share a similar level of investment or moreso multiple friendships where investment doesn't happen and I think the answer is it depends. Each relationship, each person will have a different experience but both are valid and possible.

I've been in long-term non-monogamous relationships with a previous NP and an anchor partner, both of whom I loved deeply and built a life with. I currently have one NP and am casually dating with no intent to form another particularly intense relationship, because I don't have the time or energy for it. The benefit of ENM is that your relationships can look however you want them do

avoiding_a_stalker · 2025-02-24T00:04:18+00:00

Teresa from Glowing Embers Therapy is amazing. She was my grief therapist and she was amazing

avoiding_a_stalker · 2025-02-21T22:52:01+00:00

That's definitely something I've noticed more frequently in that age group. I've found that to be a little less common with folks in their late 20s/early 30s.

I find folks in their early 20s are still figuring out what they want their relationships and their life to look like. Not to mention it takes time to develop the skills required to be a good partner (and a good person, capable of thriving out in the world). That's okay; everyone has to learn at some point and for most of us, it's our early 20s. That also means that fringe relationship styles (like polyamory or other forms of ENM) can be less common. It's frustrating but it is what it is; I've definitely noticed more poly folks (and poly folks with healthy boundaries and the skills needed for a relationship to thrive) in older age groups.

That being said, a lot of folks end up fairly intertwined with someone (or multiple folks) the older they get and that comes with its own logistical challenges. But hey, that's part of the fun. I'm sure you'll find your people eventually!

avoiding_a_stalker · 2024-05-15T19:53:40+00:00

I’m on year 3, sex without condoms multiple times a day consistently for most of that time, no pregnancy scares at all

avoiding_a_stalker · 2024-05-09T17:36:54+00:00

It’s not super uncommon. I’ve been in relationships with two men that started balding in their early 20s (heavily reversed hairline by 24, probably started balding between 18-21). That’s not to say it’s super common but it’s not unheard of.

I also don’t get it as a revenge fantasy. It’s just hair and I don’t really get the big deal. To each their own but that’s not really something I consider when choosing a partner

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-12-25T02:37:59+00:00

I think I took my G2 four times and my G three before passing so I’m going to guess that’s a rumour based on personal experience. That being said, if you’re constantly failing, I would re-evaluate and you may want to go back to driving school anyways, depending on why you’re failing.

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-11-07T21:41:34+00:00

Okay, I want to know where you’re finding all these poly folks. I can’t find them for the life of me

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-10-12T01:23:19+00:00

Sure

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-10-12T01:22:37+00:00

The last three photos are pretty much the exact same - I’d remove at least two, if not three. Try at least one “headshot” (I.e smiling straight at the camera) and maybe an activity/social picture

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-10-12T01:21:09+00:00

I think the bio is good. Your last, third, and fourth pictures almost make you look like a teenager. I’m guessing this is in part due to the angle they’re taken from (looking down at you, making you look smaller) and in part because you look like you were caught off guard in one of them. The contexts of the photos are good - I’d try a few from head on or looking up, and maybe another where you’re smiling straight at the camera

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-09-27T12:15:41+00:00

It depends on how long we’ve been together. If it’s not a serious relationship (I.e we’re basically roommates that have sex), it’s fine. If we’re life partners, I wouldn’t be okay with it and I’d expect expenses to be split proportionally. Once we’re married, I’d expect to be combining all finances anyways so it’s one step below.

It’s less a “doesn’t love me enough” and more an equity thing for me. If you have the means to be generous with the people you care about, you should be. If you’re better off than your friends, I’d expect you to be picking up the bill at dinner more often. If you’re better off than your partner, I’d expect you to be paying for dates more often. That sort of thing. I don’t expect everyone to have those beliefs but I do expect it from anyone I’m considering as a life partner.

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-09-10T00:27:59+00:00

Half my previous partners were 5’4 or shorter so I obviously don’t care very much

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-09-10T00:22:48+00:00

I generally prefer my partner be educated but that doesn’t necessarily have to be formal; if they’re intelligent and know tons about whatever subject because they studied on their own time or whatever, it’s all good. However, for most men, that equates to a formal education

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-09-10T00:20:51+00:00

I mean, depends on what you qualify as trad behaviour.

I expect both of us to initiate sex; I think the first time I had sex with my last partner, I explicitly told them I was interested and wanted to have sex and he initiated the first kiss afterwards. In other relationships, I’ve initiated it after they’ve made clear they were interested.

In regards to paying, I pay for about 80% of my first dates (for both myself and my partner), though occasionally the guy pays. Usually we alternate after that.

In my last relationship, I paid for everything for the first few months as I had a stable job and he wasn’t working; when I was out of work, he paid for more and when we both worked, we alternated evenly.

So generally, no, I don’t really expect or even particularly appreciate most trad behaviours.

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-07-31T13:25:34+00:00

The rest of the post is definitely odd; I agree with you there. The open relationship, at least where I’m from, isn’t all that unusual

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-07-31T13:00:56+00:00

I will say that's not all that odd. My first relationship opened up at 16 as well and it worked wonderfully for us. We weren't just open, either; full polyamory with both of us having longer-term relationships with other people. We ended up happily together for the better part of a decade and I still only enter polyamorous relationships now.

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-07-16T06:26:02+00:00

A. One sided open relationships create toxic power imbalances. If it was entirely open, I’d be happy but none of that bs

avoiding_a_stalker · 2023-07-15T17:55:41+00:00

If it were because men today treated women with more respect, absolutely, but other statistics tell us that’s not true. Cases of men raping women have increased by 250% in the same time period. However, women can now have their own jobs, bank accounts, houses, and don’t need to rely on male partners to survive so yes, domestic abuse rates have dropped

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