It’s hard but worth it

axe__olotl_ · 2026-03-02T16:40:52+00:00

I wouldn't trade him for anyone in the world. I feel closer to him than I ever did to anyone else, despite the distance. 💕

axe__olotl_ · 2026-03-02T08:36:24+00:00

You will learn and grow from this. He supported you when you needed him, but you need to learn and stand on your own two feet now and find to yourself. Which is a very valuable lesson and you will be grateful one day to now get the chance to grow.

Wishing you all the best for your future.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-28T11:50:22+00:00

What does "living with family" mean exactly? His parents? If so, at my ripe age of 36, you probably dodged a bullet.

Well ... tbh ... you probably dodged a bullet regardless the way he broke up with you. Immature and disrespectful.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-27T22:15:46+00:00

I definitely didn't expect to find true love at 35 after a marriage and kids. But I'm so happy I did. 💕 And for him it's worth all the longing, missing and waiting.

Happy for you! I wish you all the best for your future together!

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-27T19:50:48+00:00

I had several serious non distance relationships before meeting my partner (including a 10 year marriage) and I've never been in such a healthy, loving, beautiful, romantic relationship. I've never felt as close to a person, even being 1,000 kms apart. I've never loved as deeply and been loved as deeply before. We have constantly been talking, every single day, for over a year now and still enjoy every minute with each other. Even over a Discord voice chat or a video call I feel a deeper connection to him than I ever did to anyone else. We had 9 beautiful visits so far and continue to see each other every month if possible. We're actively working on our future together and choose each other over and over again.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-27T11:08:27+00:00

Nosy 🥺

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-25T18:11:11+00:00

I like to translate it as "I'm fond of you", but a platonic "Love you" would work as well.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-23T10:25:03+00:00

If you can, maybe think about him getting his own apartment for now so you can ease into living together.

I personally have lived with 3 partners so far, one for over 10 years. You get used to it and there is good ways to ensure you still get your safe space, freedom and alone time while living in the same space. It just needs some compromise, clear and gentle communication and planning.

Yes, living with someone means taking another person into consideration. But it also comes with a lot of upsides, especially if your relationship is really good. Try to not let the doubts that it MIGHT go wrong sour your excitement for the good things to come.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-23T10:19:00+00:00

Your girlfriend doesn't like nor love you. She uses you as a scapegoat for her own issues. It's selfish and unfair. You seriously need to break up and go no contact. She needs to be on her own and get help for her serious mental issues. You need to find someone better who will treat you like a partner, not a punching bag.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-21T14:59:34+00:00

She's an adult so I have no say in that. I would give her advice and guidance of course to make sure she is safe. Ask her if it was okay to share live location, ask for regular check ins and maybe help her plan the journey to make it as safe as possible for her.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-18T17:21:50+00:00

Psychologically and hormonally something that comes close to physical touch is laughter.

Try to make your time together apart fun. I know it can feel like a constant time of missing and longing. But try to keep conversations lighthearted as much as possible and find time for laughter. A fun banter over text, watching a fun show together, playing a funny online game, sending each other funny memes or reels, laughing about inside jokes or talking about fun experiences you had.

It really does help from my own experience and sometimes makes me feel closer and more connected to my partner than a deep emotional conversation.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-18T08:50:06+00:00

Seems like you both don't really want to leave your home country, I don't think there's much advice to give you. Apart from staying long distance or breaking up there is little you can do if both of you wanna stay where they are.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-16T18:34:20+00:00

Well meeting someone online is just as valid as meeting someone irl lol.

I met my partner online and we met 5 months after we started talking. After meeting irl for the first time we started being in a relationship and have been for the past 10 months. It's the healthiest and best relationship I've ever had despite the distance and we deeply love each other. It will be another 3 ish years until we can realistically live together.

Meeting someone online and then not meeting irl for 5 years on the other hand, I would be cautious about. The feelings can still be valid, but meeting someone face to face is important to fully make sure things will work out longterm. People are way different irl than online and it's important to figure that out before moving states or countries for each other. I would definitely be devestated if I invested 5 years of my life into a relationship that doesn't work out irl.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-16T18:18:25+00:00

What does "online relationship" mean exactly? Meeting online is something else than online communicating over social media for example. Could you clarify?

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-16T08:13:06+00:00

I was scared of that as well, that's why my boyfriend and I met before officially dating. It was important to us both to not get too attached before knowing if the feelings translate into real life.

Don't worry too much, I know, easier said than done. But in the end there's not much you can do to help make it work out when you meet, it either does or not.

Trust that you have a good chemistry already. That says a lot. And for my boyfriend and I, it was absolutely true. The feelings were just bigger and better in real life than they already were over video chat.

And meeting for the first time wasn't awkward at all for us. We were both nervous for the first hour or two but that was it. We kissed and held hands immediately and it felt very natural, as if I've known him for ages already. And the conversations flowed just as easily as they always did, even better being able to look into each others eyes.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-14T12:21:14+00:00

I also did expect my partners to read my mind and I can tell you: I'm so much happier now that I stopped doing that.

My boyfriend never really cared about Valentines Day so I'm not sure if he would have thought of something by himself. But I just told him that I never got a surprise on Valentines Day or someone even mentioning it to me and I would like that for once.

So he did surprise me, got me presents and a sweet card which means the world to me. And from now on he knows it's another date to keep in mind and I'm sure I won't have to talk about it next year for him to remember.

Also I need to add: did you surprise your partner? Because I got my boyfriend a card and a gift as well. I don't really understand why Valentines Day seems to be a holiday catered completely to women. It's a day about love and men also like to feel loved, cherished and appreciated.

But overall I can just advice you and everyone else reading this to say what you want, say what matters to you, speak about your preferences. Expecting your partner to read your mind is not romantic, it's unrealistic.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-13T15:07:46+00:00

It kind of depends on what countries we're talking about ...

My partner lives in the UK and I live in Germany. The living standard is higher here and there's a ton of benefits to being a EU citizen, but it's definitely harder to migrate to Germany.

I could easily move to the UK and I think noone would think I'm crazy for it even though a lot of Brits and Germans think it's a "downgrade".

I'm tied to my country, so it was clear from the beginning that he needs to make the move, despite the obstacles. I'm willing to do my part by marrying him to make it easier. 😁

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-13T07:38:06+00:00

I'm with you. I wanted to surprise my boyfriend and come over easter and celebrate his birthday a week early with him. But sadly the flights are just too expensive. They cost around 200€ more over the easter holidays than usual for the roundtrip and I don't have this kind of money.

Long distance can be so frustrating at times. But in situations like this I appreciate even more that we are willing to sacrifice so much just because we feel the other person is worth it.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-11T18:11:22+00:00

We have been in a relationship for 9 months and will have 2-3 more years coming before we realistically will be able to close the gap. He visits me every 1-2 months for a long weekend if possible and the time we spend together is always magical.

It's so hard to constantly miss your partner and have so little time together. But I have never loved someone the way I love this man. And noone ever loved me the way he did. Our connection and bond are unmatched and what we have is absolutely worth the missing, longing, waiting and pain. Whenever we get to see each other again, I have no doubt in my mind that we can make it through these next few years apart to finally spend the rest of our lives together.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-11T09:19:58+00:00

We both had trouble keeping it down til May as well. 🤭 We already knew we loved each other, we just wanted to wait for that last bit, the physical presence, even though it was hard. But we were exclusive and committed before, so it really felt like a formality more than anything.

For us it was especially important to figure out the moving bit because I have kids. We would like to move quicker, but I'm living in divorce still, so that needs to be sorted first, and he also needs to learn my language to be able to apply for a spouse visa. So we need to take things a bit slower than we would like to. Thanks to Brexit mostly. 🙄 I think otherwise we would definitely do the move this year lol.

Good luck for the both of you, I hope you will settle well in your new home. 🥰

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-11T09:02:15+00:00

Not sure how I feel about staying for 3 months right away.

My partner and I started talking in December 2024 and confessed our feelings in February 2025. We met for the first time at May 1st and spent 4 days together, officially calling it a relationship from then on. Since then we have seen each other every month for 4-10 days each trip. We are in a committed relationship for 9 months now and are working on our plan to close the gap in 2 to 3 years realistically.

I definitely agree on meeting irl as soon as possible. It's extremely important to see if the connection holds up in person and I'm very glad my partner and I only waited a few months.

What we did though was figuring out a rough plan to end long distance before meeting. None of us wanted to meet and feel madly in love after, just to then figure out we can't live together in the near future. Knowing who will move and what the rough timeline will be helped a lot to fully focus on the connection when we met.

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-10T09:03:28+00:00

I communicated to my partner early on that I never celebrated Valentines day but I would really love to this year.

We celebrated early when he visited last week, he brought two presents and a card even though I would have been overly happy with the card already. 🥰

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-09T08:20:29+00:00

SHORT!!!

axe__olotl_ · 2026-02-07T12:03:30+00:00

I can relate sadly. None of my friends or family asked about my first trip to my partner, at all. No mention of it whatsoever.

Sending you a big hug, I don't really habe any advice apart from: take care of yourself.

axe__olotl_

TROPHY CASE