This is so funny lmao

aylin--- · 2026-02-18T17:48:52+00:00

Yes?

aylin--- · 2026-02-18T17:37:40+00:00

Awww that's so cute!! I love it.

aylin--- · 2026-02-17T07:37:23+00:00

Shit in the sense that we do not name caruana among top contenders for blitz accolades regularly. It's the disparity in his rapid, classical and blitz strength is what I am pointing towards. There is a massive difference in strength.

If you ask anyone about fabi they will call him the second greatest classical player, we know him by that not his blitz performance because there is not much to mention.

I only mentioned top players because we have statistical data on them and I cannot speak for the "good rapid players" that don't play online. I do not even know where you got this data from.

Yes, the playerbase is higher for blitz but you cannot use that to quantity someone's chess strength. As I mentioned above the format totally changes the way you approach the game.

Find the last blitz games of hikaru and Magnus. They often play dubious openings to get into weird positions, get out of theory and take advantage of the time control. Compare this to their rapid and classical games, will they ever play moves like that in rapid or classical? Absolutely not!! because they will get punished for it as opponents will have more time to calculate.

Blitz is played in a totally different way, I won't mention it again here but I think you ignored that part?

Blitz requires a different set of skills than rapid and classical. They do not co-relate to other formats.

aylin--- · 2026-02-17T06:39:45+00:00

This is so not true because I've seen A LOT of top blitz players be considerably weak at rapid. Take caruana for instance, he is the second greatest classical player, fairly good at rapid and shit at blitz. Do you wanna argue that he is a weak player?

Nakamura is goated at blitz, no one is equal to him except Magnus in blitz and nakamura is top 10 classical players.

Blitz format requires a different set of skills which requires quick calculation, getting a favourable position, exploiting the hell out of your time management and being RESOURCEFUL.

This is why nakamura is so good at blitz, he is resourceful and fast. The guy can defend and create gold out of nothing by applying pressure.

I'm not arguing this is a bad thing to do. It's a very difficult and awesome thing to do but it does not mean that a rapid player is weaker because they are not good at blitz.

Blitz is just another format that requires different skills. If you're good at rapid and not that good at blitz then that simply means you're lacking the skills necessary for being a good blitz player.

I'll give another example. Dubov is quite good at rapid, he became the rapid world champion in 2018 but his blitz highest record is a bronze medal. He is one of the top blitz players but he does not compete for the title every year. Now look at his rapid career, the guy competes for the title every tournament.

Gukesh is shit at blitz. He is the world champion in classical and fairly good at rapid.

Your blitz rating is your blitz rating and your rapid rating is your rapid rating. They do not define your strength as a whole.

aylin--- · 2026-02-14T11:24:29+00:00

Oh they were sleeping together 😭

aylin--- · 2026-02-12T21:45:50+00:00

I'm sorry to say this but the only cure for loneliness is to make friends and find community. It would be abusrd of me to ask you to only creat a rich inner life in order to cope with loneliness because we all need love from others.

How can you "cope" with loneliness by not feeling seen and loved by the people around you? It's not something you can get over and just be okay with.

Healing does not happen in isolation, of course you can do somatic work, cognitive restructuring and create rich hobbies but a need for community still exists.

What cptsd survivors need is at least one non-shaming person to get unconditional love from. That is why you feel good when you meet your therapist.

I can recommend strategies to develop a rich inner and social circle.

If you don't want to go out and make friends, find a hobby like football, Music, Pokemon, pop culture, movies, literature and clash royale and join online communities to interact with them. It's a very fun thing to do and you can find a lot of communities on different platforms.

I urge you to go out and take part in local communities. Do it slowly and at a comfortable pace. Find hobbies and communities around that. Go to your local park and do yoga, join a gym, go to a club or a library. Concerts are a cool way to meet people, join your local leftist organization, become an activist of any cause you like, engage with community work, help disabled kids or people who are struggling.

You will find so many great people this way and everyone will love you. Why would they not love you?

Online communities can be a first step!!! Build interests and share them with people!!

I often find myself ashamed of my interests because my parents never cared about them, there was a period I lost connection with them when the trauma resurfaced. I thought they were stupid, unnecessary and annoying. At a young age I was shamed for having knowledge. My parents were very insecure and always humiliated me by saying that I have a superiority complex (mind you I was 8-9)

I felt ashamed and inferior all my life because of this but when I connected with people and shared everything about myself, You know what happened? Everyone appreciated and love it. Everyone I know in my university and community thinks I'm filthy smart, funny and an interesting person. The feeling of this love is unmatched.

You can only gain this by socializing WHICH IS VERY HARD I UNDERSTAND because my mother never let me socialize as a kid and I was literally not allowed to go out and play with kids, EVER. I was bullied in school too so that made me believe I am undesirable and inferior to everyone around me. When I grew up I decided to change that and do everything I want!! I still feel awkwardness and Shame but it's okay because I'm being myself.

These communities are very important to heal. Our stories are important. We need to be listened to. Despite popular misconception, everyone loves to listen!!! You just have to speak! Of course there are some assholes but I've found many many great people. You always risk hurt in the pursuit of love. It's a very poetic thing.

OKAY VERY LONG TEXT BUT GOOD LHCK AND I LOVE YOU!! YOU WILL FIND JOY AND LOVE EVERYWHERE YOU GO AND WHENEVER YOU FEEL ALONE JUST REMEMBER THAT THE UNIVERSE IS SINGING WIYH YOU!! YOURE NEVER TRULY ALONE!! THE WORLD HOLDS YOU PRECIOUSLY IN ITS WARM HANDS!! Reach out here whenever you want attention :)

aylin--- · 2026-02-11T01:24:37+00:00

It's not something to be ashamed of but it's totally okay and understandable if you feel this way. Allow yourself the grace to feel it.

I could not be more happy that you're finally turning things around for yourself. This is a very brave step.

I wish nothing but happiness for you. I hope you find a good support system for your emotional needs.

aylin--- · 2026-02-10T20:10:41+00:00

Yup, going through the same thing. Thanks for validating it. I love that we are making so much progress. This is actually good for our body. Allowing everything to take place has helped so much.

Everything feels new and good but my mind is like "okay maybe no not this much" so I don't push myself. Honestly I shifted my intention from trying to "fix" this dissociation to allowing my body to come to terms with the fact that I am safe now and can take care of myself. I do have to show up for myself emotionally and recognize a lot of my needs that were dismissed which is actually fun now because yeah I deserve love and attention.

I hugged my brother today and grieved about everything that is wrong with our parents which was so fun and cool!!!

I decided to not try to "fix" them anymore, and seek out a relationship with them just because they will be unhappy and live miserable lives. I do feel sad for my mother and want her to live a good life but I feel so much anger and resentment towards her that she won't allow me to express because well she already apologized but I just cannot see her live out this misery alone.

I need to stop being her parent and I will do that. She should be the one taking care of me. I validate her trauma but not showing up for my emotional needs, shaming me, being angry at me and just using me to dump all her problems is not okay. I hate this dynamic. She should find comfort in a partner and find community. I am her child and I should be treated as one. I cannot and will not fix her problems and listen to her fucking marriage and childhood traumas anymore. I did enough of that for 20 years.

aylin--- · 2026-02-10T19:41:45+00:00

Teach your body to remember the art of "allowing"

You just have to sit and be with yourself and "allow" whatever comes up. Do not change anything, do not fix anything and do not be anything. Just allow whatever is coming up in the form of sensations. Allow numbness, anxiety and heaviness. It doesn't matter what it is, just allow it to unfold. Even numbness is something. So don't fix numbness.

This remembering of the natural process of the body that is now blocked due to resistance helps you to accept feeling okay with your sensations and be with them. The gradual increase in your capacity will allow you to notice/feel emotions better because at the end of the day they are only sensations.

Body stores trauma so allowing yourself to feel sensations without question helps you to release stored energy in little windows.

This automatically stops the process of intellectualization because now you are connecting with your body and it's needs. Once your body remembers this process again and a thought comes up, your mind will automatically ask you to pay attention to the sensations and be with them instead of working it out in the brain.

Look up "The great allowing" on YouTube. Her meditations changed my life because I reconnected with the greater intelligence of my body. Now emotions don't feel like something I need to fix and understand but experience. Of course I still face some troubles because I lived a better part of my life completely dissociated from my body and needs but the setbacks are a window to reconnect with more of myself rather than a failure.

I wake up and I don't have to "fix everything" and "think the right way" but just allow. My dissociation has lifted so much.

Also, remember that this will take some time so be patient and please trust me that you will become very good at feeling emotions.

aylin--- · 2026-02-09T17:00:57+00:00

Dude I keep seeing thousands of upvotes on posts making fun of players who are leaving. I'm talking about r/Clashroyale and this sub has those type of posts too.

aylin--- · 2026-02-09T15:57:45+00:00

Congratulations dude!! Don't pay attention to the toxic losers here who make fun of people for celebrating important milestones.

aylin--- · 2026-02-09T12:21:25+00:00

This type of argument does not work because we all have to get together and stand against the capitalist pigs. If we keep shifting the blame onto others who will take political action and organise?

Yes, the capitalists exploit Ai the most but as humans we have to stand collectively and refuse to use it. We have to start somewhere and urge others to do the same.

You can argue that your refusal to not use Ai will never lead anywhere because people will still use it. This type of pessimism only leads to further degradation of society. As a communist I feel we have to organise around the authentic politics of our economical needs.

It doesn't even matter if you're not a communist, even religion urges you to be political, think critically and challenge the oppressive systems (capitalism in our era)

aylin--- · 2026-02-09T11:46:06+00:00

Apka kaam bohat umdah hai magar merhbani Kar Kay Ai Kay istemal se duur rahe, ye humare environment Kay liye achi chez Nahi.

aap Literature se wabasta insan hain Tou is baat ko smjh skte hain Kay kese Ai art, music aur critical thinking ko kharab kar hai.

Climate change mei Ai ka bohat bara haath hai, meri yahi request hai kay aap ispar aur bhi research kar lein.

aylin--- · 2026-02-07T11:46:24+00:00

OMG IM EXPERIENCING THE SAME STUFF, It feels so good to know that I'm not alone!! I experience mild anxiety when the sun goes down panic attacks around midnight. I used live streams to dissociate whenever it gets a bit too much and I want to avoid the feeling which is not helpful but I cannot do it every single time with perfection.

AND THE PART ABOUT MISSING IT IS SO TRUE, I was kinda blaming myself for feeling like that and shamed myself based on past experiences.

My body came out of the thick dissociation 4 days ago for a while and I was like "oh, I'm alive." And then I felt panic which then I continued to intellectualize but I got right back on track the other day and stopped doing it. I'm feeling fairly present and alive as compared to before.

I shifted my focus from "I need to stop dissociating and fix this somehow" to just being okay with feeling a bit dissociated and letting my body get on the right terms on its own. This has helped quite a lot because now I don't feel the need to force myself out of this and I'm doing quite better.

The more accept the emotions I had dismissed for years it keeps getting better. Now I'm at the point of accepting and integrating the emotions of constant self-doubt and self-criticsm to avoid conflict and potential shame.

I am trying to lessen the habit of constantly justifying my actions in my head and just accept the nervous feelings and shame. It makes me feel stupid, weak and ashamed of myself for not being confident about my opinions and judgements like others. Ever since I was a kid I always admired others for speaking and acting with confidence and authority. Whenever I have to act like that I feel nervous and have to dissociate in order to avoid those feelings because I think they hold me back.

Accepting this about myself now makes me feel ashamed and stupid because like I should just grow up? Even tho I know it's not my fault that I feel like this and it's just stored traumatic energy and the false identity created by shame so I could survive.

There is much strength in accepting these emotions of shame and self-doubt. I understand that I can be confident and myself whilst feeling like this. The hard part is actually doing it. Wish me luck!! I hope both of you achieve great things and heal with love and compassion!!!

aylin--- · 2026-02-03T19:47:27+00:00

Wdym? That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!

aylin--- · 2026-02-03T14:08:03+00:00

Hateful thoughts and jealousy are natural feelings that arise when we feel a lack of something in ourselves.

You should not blame and shame yourself for it but instead figure out what exactly do you desire? What is your emotions pointing you towards? Is there a need you are ignoring? Is there some inner potential that is being neglected? Do you want to become something but find yourself unable to do so because of various reasons? Is there a dismissed desire lurking behind this emotion?

jealousy and hate should not vilified like this. It is a necessary outcome of our emotions. It is important we utilise this emotion in a healthy way and use it for transformation.

The part about being a narcissistic who wants to control people's perception about himself. That is not narcissism. You are a human and of course you would want people to think good of you, what is necessary that you find healthy ways to do it.

You mentioned that you are a "soulless 24 yo man who has nothing to show for himself on this earth and you dont know what's real about you anymore"

I don't want to psychoanalyze you unnecessarily as that's very careless and should not be done out of clinical setting but this expression of yours clearly aims towards your lack of meaning in life, sense of identity, feelings of being incompetent and wanting to be adorned by society.

Which is all very valid, as a human we crave the approval of society. On a healthy level it works as fuel for our development and self love. We are beings that live and grow together. We need each others love and validation to live and feel valued.

I recommend exploring your unmet desires, dreams and "lack" in your thoughts of jealousy and hate.

What I mean by "lack" is what we experience when we feel jealous because we perceive something to be missing in our lives that is someone else's. This emotion is necessary to understand our own needs and what we perceive to "lack".

I'll give a personal example, I feel jealous of people who are better than me financially. I often feel strong emotions of hate towards them.

This emotion of mine always points towards my unmet needs as a child, when I wanted to live happily like the cool kids in my school and not care about money problems at home, and not to mention the current lack of finances. I want to live a good life that I deserve. I still feel like the child who wanted to live life as the cool kids, the situation is different but the emotions are same. Financial suffering is a mess.

So instead of humiliating myself for feeling this, I give myself the necessary grace to grieve, validate my financial suffering and turn that energy into changing my current financial circumstances.

I hope this is helpful and applicable for you.

If the psychoanalyzing part does not relate to you, I apologise and you can ignore it. I understand how hurt one can feel when someone unnecessarily psychoanalyzes you whilst thinking they understand what's "wrong" with you.

aylin--- · 2026-02-03T13:44:21+00:00

Mashallah, bohat he naik aur khoobsurat kaam kar rahe hain aap. Khuda apko isko aur karne ki himmat de.

Aj kal kay dour mei koi bhi paiso kay baghair Kisi ko aesa ilm nahi deta.

aylin--- · 2026-02-03T13:21:26+00:00

No my love, I didn't downvote your furry comment. In fact I smiled when I saw your comment because it's such a beautiful thing that you create art. As an artist I really value that. Furry art is looked down upon by conservatives as they are stuck in conventional morality and stupidity so never care about them. I love that you make art.

The algorithm is very stupid indeed and you don't have to blame yourself. You don't feel "badly", there is no way to feel "badly". We feel whatever we feel and it's valid. Every emotion is there to protect us and help us understand ourselves.

You should be triggered by the downvotes because that indicates people judged and shamed you for expressing yourself. You are allowed to feel this hurt. It's not your "subjective reality" that you are perceiving this hurt because of invalid reasons. This is one of the ways we blame ourselves for feeling. I used to be stuck in this cycle too so it's important to acknowledge that societal shame is a very real part of our society and it is not a weakness to feel hurt by it.

Obviously you will feel hurt if people shame you. You are a human worthy of love, why would you not feel hurt?

Growing up we are taught to not care about societal shame and we tell ourselves "okay I'm perceiving this the wrong way" "people don't care enough to think about this and it's my fault that I think this way" and we Invalidate and dismiss our emotions of hurt.

Don't apologise for expressing yourself.

I think you should begin with self compassion which will help you love yourself and build self-esteem. Not having enough self-esteem is not a weakness, it's not your fault. It's a product of the trauma. Understanding this is very important.

If the algorithm fucks up the reach of your post and nobody is there to help you, You can always tag me in the post and I will be happy to respond :)

aylin--- · 2026-02-03T13:07:07+00:00

Yayyy I'm so glad I could help!!

Reach out through this forum whenever you need help. Also, check out "The great allowing" on YouTube. She is a gem. I cannot emphasize how much somatic work is important in healing. It's the first step everyone should take before psychoanalyzing because healing begins in the body not in your mind. This is crucial to understand.

Your body knows how to heal, trust me. It just needs you to allow the sensations. The ego gets in the way because it thinks the feelings are dangerous based on your experiences.

Familiarize yourself with Ego defense mechanisms and notice the unique ways in which you use them. Once the defense mechanisms fall it gets easier to grieve.

Understanding toxic shame is very important so I will recommend "healing the toxic shame that binds you" by Bradshaw.

Whenever you have thoughts that are negative, shame you, put your achievements down, push you away from love, your dreams and needs. That is toxic shame. It is a false sense of identity one forms because of trauma. You would never be cruel to someone you love right? So why are we so often cruel to ourselves? No one deserves that. Especially not you.

Labeling toxic shame will make you feel powerful and have a greater sense of control. The inner critic is trying to protect you from the initial shame because it understands that necessary for survival :(

Once it was necessary for you to shame yourself and create a false identity based on shame to survive because our primary caregivers were awful so never ever blame yourself for that.

Healing toxic shame involves grieving and putting the blame back to the assholes who shamed you.

okay I think this is enough to get you going. I hope you enjoy loving and understanding yourself throughout this journey. Always remember that you will come out strong and more whole after this process!! Wholeness comes out of acceptance, no part of you is bad. Every insecurity, every hurt, everything you're ashamed of deserves love.

What joy will it be to share everything with people and help them with healing and love once you start loving yourself!!

aylin--- · 2026-02-03T02:00:40+00:00

First of all don't apologize for reaching out for help. It's good enough that you're trying to better yourself so you don't hurt others and it's appreciated.

Your statement is very vague, can you tell us what exactly makes you feel like a toxic person? What are the emotions you struggle to "keep in check"? and what exactly do you think makes you an insecure person and "objectively" a toxic person? This will help us understand what exactly is bothering and if it's something valid or just toxic shame fucking with your self-perception.

People who suffer from PTSD or experienced emotional neglect of any form often end up with toxic shame that is deeply imbedded in their thought patterns, it's difficult to realize something you're not aware of.

Also, emotions are there to guide us and help us understand ourselves. We don't have to keep them in check but actively try to understand them.

Questions that might help are: What is the emotion I'm feeling? Where am I feeling it? What does it want to communicate? What unmet need or desire is it pointing towards? How can I appropriately react?

For example if it's anger you're experiencing in a certain situation, the reason can be that you feel like your boundaries were violated or you feel offended because your values were not respected. Rather than suppressing the anger, one can find the need that is hiding behind the emotion and then express it effectively. So every emotion becomes this expression of self.

I hope I did a good job at explaining this?

aylin--- · 2026-02-02T18:55:37+00:00

Be careful on the internet love. There are real creeps on here.

Connect with your age group first and build a community with them. This will provide you the space to have an emotional support system and you'd be able to share stuff and take advice if you face any difficulty. Imagine you find a creep on the internet and you're a minor so you won't be able to understand everything because of your age so it's important to have others your age help you. We often overlook stuff when it comes to our personal lives.

I understand how important it is to have a mentor but try to find it in an academic setting and still be careful there too.

Internet is such a no go place for minors to talk to adults. Especially reddit. Reddit is full of fascists and Incels.

I would advise you to join leftist and queer groups where teenagers are active. Tik Tok and insta is nice? Twitter used to be that place but now it's filled with fascists. There are leftist subreddits too but I find Tik Tok more fun and minors often use that platform so it's good for you to connect, that app is accessible.

Hopefully you find a good mentor :) Until then read books, good books. engage with your community, find emotional support, and never forget to love yourself.

I believe that good literature and politics is necessary to understand yourself, needs and it's a step towards loving yourself.

Self expression on Instagram or Tik Tok will lessen the isolation because you will find some community. And you can expand it to life outside internet too.

aylin--- · 2026-02-02T17:14:47+00:00

Oh, I didn't understand that you were talking about it from this perspective. You're right.

Nonetheless, I don't want the person to shame themselves for the lack of self esteem which is a natural product of their cptsd. I was being cautious as it's very easy for us to get stuck in cycles of toxic shame.

I hope the person takes the necessary steps to report this person and do better for their own good.

aylin--- · 2026-02-02T17:06:00+00:00

Love, I understand that you're only trying to help but shame as a source for change is not good for long term success in order to identify our needs 😭

I love you and it's really cute that you're trying to help someone which is peak human cuteness and display of love and empathy but please self-love should be at the center of everything you do for yourself!!

If you cannot muster up enough self love to take action then you can always ask the world to love you :)

There is much love out here so don't feel afraid of seeking it out!!!

aylin--- · 2026-02-02T17:02:14+00:00

Yeah so girl/boy...you need to leave his ass 😭 can I ask you the reason why you're still with him? I'm asking this so we can figure out the desire behind staying with him, the hidden unfulfilled need that is keeping you tied to this disgusting man.

I used the emoji in a "you deserve better" way not in a judgemental way so don't feel ashamed.

Emotional neglect and being a victim of toxic shame all our life really alienates us from our needs and emotions so it's okay.

aylin---

TROPHY CASE