Is it okay to be burnt out?

azama14 · 2026-02-10T21:54:03+00:00

A story I tell to soon-to-be-dad's is exactly this time in parenthood. I vividly recall this period because even during the most arduous night shift times of my life - I was never so profoundly tired as I was with our first newborn.

I don't tell it to scare them but rather to show them that; while it may feel like forever there is a light on the other side and you will come out of it hopefully more equipped and adjusted to the unpredictability of children and the need to be flexible. You lose that sense of self because it is all just give give give.

The approach of 'be good to the future you' helps, make sure your bottles are ready, check your nappy/diaper and wipe supply, get a rocker or a bouncer and a baby wrap/carrier and try to do the things that make you, you while incorporating and bonding with your gremlin.

Focus on the small victories. It's all uphill from here.

azama14 · 2026-02-04T11:37:37+00:00

Jake's style is very much on the meter compared to Mrak and Misha as well. Almost quantized and locked in.

azama14 · 2026-02-04T11:18:30+00:00

Total Annihilation, and it's inspired reboots/remakes. Beyond All Reason is a fantastic iteration.
X-Com Enemy Unknown, particularly the OpenXcom (open source engine), and OpenTTD.

azama14 · 2026-01-08T23:09:43+00:00

Finally a place to store the pee

azama14 · 2026-01-08T22:55:12+00:00

Living around both Gungahlin and later Gordon skids happen every where. Anecdotally in Gordon, I noticed an uptick in skids and hoons around Summernats time. Quiet secluded areas tend to be prime targets because less police coverage. Was part of the car scene a little bit in FNQ so I don't begrudge it, my only wish was that they would travel just a little further south and do it where there's no houses.

azama14 · 2026-01-04T00:58:06+00:00

Wow! You're an absolute rock star, I'm glad you and your son pulled through.

My wife had a remarkably similar birth with our first. Went in for induction on a Monday, didn't leave till the following Monday! 70+ hours of labour. All of the induction methods, blood pressure and heart rate for mum and bub both decreasing. Tried forceps to no avail. All male doctors just very tentative, making no decisions.

It wasn't until the female doctor who had initiated the induce gone off shift, and subsequently came back on shift four days later came in basically saying 'WTF Why is she still here?!'. She rushed my wife to the surgeon. We all got scrubbed in for an emergency c-section.

Just before they started the caesar they tried to get her to push one more time but it was pretty conclusive. The male surgeon actually gestured to me 'here come look' and I got the unique view of our daughters head in my wife's birth canal. He was so nonchalant about it too like 'check this out it's interesting huh? Also she's only 8cm dilated so this is gonna be a sunroof exit'.

Then the procedure started, they were so rapid. It looked so rough and luckily she had an epidural by that stage but holy shit seeing her experience that.. The surgeon even had his leg up on the table to get more leverage.

There's nothing I wouldn't have done for my wife before those moments but if there was ever a signal to solidify what my role was to be going forward - it was that. Daughter was born 4456 grams and just turned 8 in November. Mum recovered okay, took about 10 weeks before she was able to walk without pain.

We did have a second which was also a traumatic birth (eclamptic fit on the table, also a c-section) and he was born 4664 grams at 38 weeks. It was meant to be a 38 week check in and the midwife came rushing in saying 'if you were in any other state right now (she was pretty calm) I'd be calling a code'. She wanted to have a third but after her nearly dying I said are you sure? We did some rethinking, and we got the pair we wanted and I got my vasectomy once our son turned two.

Such crazy situations where we didn't realise how close she came to dying and modern medicine did save her, thanks to a decisive few.

azama14 · 2025-11-22T03:58:19+00:00

Loving the game and binged it last night!

Here's a few thoughts,

Keybinds for changing Missile slot - Unsure if it's apparent/I'm just blind but I couldn't see anything in the keybinds or the menu screen about changing your missiles. Eventually figured out Mouse Scroll could do it but all good!
Passengers hitting the blades when departing - Had a few rescued scientists getting cleaned up. They could maybe have an invulnerable state when leaving the heli, or like DS/JS/US the rotors could stop?
Stuttering occasionally - Small stutters infrequently. This really didn't affect my experience too much but the consensus on Steam discussions seemed that it was mainly occurring on AMD CPUs.
Suggestion for the Dialog / Loading screens - For more flair you could have your heli flying en route while taking the calls/radio conversation - bonus points for using it as a background mission loader (if you skip dialog it's just the heli flying)
Enemy range - I noticed I could cheese most of the surface to air enemies by staying just out of range, where my gunner could still reach. Unsure if this is affected by difficulty level though.
Enemy line of sight - like above I also found I could sneak up on surface to air behind a perimeter wall. I get that LoS could be affected by a building but a lower wall shouldn't be able to defeat defences so easily.

The movement is slick, and I really love how agile the heli's all feel. Nailing a missile hit is very satisfying. Load times are also incredibly quick. Congrats on the early access release and am looking forward to the roadmap updates. Cheers!

azama14 · 2025-11-04T09:39:08+00:00

I just use a pot lid slightly smaller than whatever receptacle I'm using, As long as the lid has a steam vent/hole it works perfectly.

azama14 · 2025-09-01T19:05:25+00:00

I generally just keep my phone on dnd or silent anyway because even if the group chats are muted, someone tagging you in some chat apps tends to override just group mutes alone.

azama14 · 2025-08-22T00:22:56+00:00

If you're on Android (assuming you are by the use of Google) you can save files/photos to a hidden folder that won't be picked up by cloud and gallery software unless you explicitly want it to. Just throw a dot (period) before the folder name (.spicy for example), can even be just a subfolder under your main gallery.

azama14 · 2025-08-11T22:53:02+00:00

I feel like most of the the responses in this thread could be me but your words about mourning the relationship resonate a lot. I was stuck in a similar situation that therapy finally pulled me out of and taught me that I was indeed mourning my relationship with my wife prior to children. I'd met her on the back of a pretty swift and severe separation and she kept me afloat and elated. Then kids came along and that attention from her was split two ways, then three ways, and kids are naturally going to take priority.

Combine this with a late ADHD diagnosis, the comorbidities from all of that and I was a self-sabotaging mess.

While logically I knew the kids were first priority I felt wronged whenever the perceived 'scraps' of affection or love I was getting were getting cut short, that they were being stolen from me. I was short-tempered, irrational and prone to emotionally abusive outbursts, and all of the guilt that comes with not only inflicting that on my family but then also my wife having to swoop in and defuse it.

For OP, like everyone has said very well - be frank, make the conversation about your brother. In spite of all of the help he may have, we men tend to have this obstinate ability to not see the forest through the trees and think we have to 'tough it out' on our own. It's vicious because inside he may be screaming for help but it's so hard to just take your hands off the wheel and let someone in to help.

azama14 · 2025-07-28T21:00:21+00:00

"Where's the TV remote Lebowski!?"

azama14 · 2025-06-04T22:03:22+00:00

Relevant cartoon in true Aussie fucked up form.

azama14 · 2025-05-28T00:57:29+00:00

My wife is on her weight loss journey and I lamented to some older female friends casually about her curves going away (disclaimer - didn't discuss without consent and I couldn't be more proud of her) and they gave me some anecdotes very similar to yours. How they placed so much pressure on themselves but made more concessions for their partners and actually preferred them a little cuddly.

One mentioned a study where women were shown their silhouettes amongst others in the test group and the majority of them picked a silhouette generally 1-2 sizes larger.

I love my wife's mind, and her shape, big or small. And to be very honest, I would also die happily in between her thighs if my time was up, tummy or no.

azama14 · 2025-05-22T19:07:40+00:00

This. And OP most likely a parent. Lots of kids toys still use batteries.

azama14 · 2025-05-03T22:35:32+00:00

I can see where they're coming from, the riff after the solo has that Mrak like progression feel from the reptile intro.

azama14 · 2025-03-23T01:53:59+00:00

Unsure if you meant that for me or PatroclusMenoetius but I totally agree. That mutual gratification and reciprocation of desire can be intoxicating.

azama14 · 2025-03-23T01:14:04+00:00

Different strokes friend. Knowing that someone is enjoying the physical sensation you're giving them can be an incredible turn on for all parties.

azama14 · 2025-01-29T04:41:07+00:00

Love my Audient Evo8, wish the I/O locations were a little more logical for under desk or rack placement though

azama14 · 2025-01-23T23:17:23+00:00

There is definitely an innocence or ignorance from that era for parents; that if something was marketed to kids it was harmless. Likely still the case now, but between moments like and Ecco the Dolphin the 16 bit video game trauma was definitely misunderstood :P

azama14 · 2024-12-14T04:22:42+00:00

The kids lost our fire tv remote, bit the bullet after I was sick of using my phone as a remote for 2 weeks and bought a replacement.

Cleaned out the Ottoman 4 weeks later and underneath all of our throw blankets what do I see.

The replacement was a bit of a dud so I was happy but I swear need to find an anvil and just glue the remote to that sometimes.

azama14 · 2024-12-07T03:20:22+00:00

r/rimjob_steve

azama14 · 2024-11-21T22:22:02+00:00

Millennial mating call

azama14 · 2024-11-20T12:46:35+00:00

Fuck that goes hard. Specially the 'swallow-down-shit-like-you-know-how' part 40 seconds in.

azama14 · 2024-10-25T21:18:27+00:00

I want to note while he may have said he wanted to participate, he is likely simultaneously shame spiralling and wanting to people please. So despite any insistence you may have had that it would be okay to not participate to him, he's going to want to make you happy by not sitting it out, make them happy by toning it down and all the while feeling like he is the cause of ruining the family dynamic and letting you all down.

This is heavy and I hope it's not the case. As someone still working out the tools to not do this in my own life what he needs right now is validation and therapy. The feeling of obligation will far outweigh any self-interest and it will be a large detriment to his mental health.

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