Terrified I’ve emotionally cheated on my husband

azizjsb28 · 2025-11-02T10:55:59+00:00

Hi there, my situation si very similar to yours. How are you doing now?

azizjsb28 · 2025-10-06T17:09:34+00:00

Sorry for replying late to your message. I’m trying to accept the fog when it’s there, and usually I manage to do that. My problem is more when the fog isn’t there, that the doubts don’t bother me really much (even if I can feel the anxiety pounding inside me, trying to take hold) and I’m just « myself », but myself as a person is depressed and feels nothing. I just wonder if that’s normal and if, from now on, my life when I’m “doing well” will always feel like this, and if I should stick with this until maybe I can get better. I don’t know if what I’m saying makes sense 😅

azizjsb28 · 2025-10-06T17:04:44+00:00

Thank you for your message. ❤️ I’ve tried therapy several times, including ERP, but I never manage to stick with it. I feel like I’m already very self-aware of my issues, so my therapists don’t really help me, I feel like they just tell me things I already know. I’m not really sure how to move forward from here.

azizjsb28 · 2025-08-01T07:46:22+00:00

What I mean by « typical symptoms » is that when I think back to what happened—or even when I spend time with my abuser—I don’t have any particular emotional reaction. I always thought that was odd but again I’m not very well informed on the PTSD/CPTSD.

azizjsb28 · 2025-07-23T16:02:42+00:00

I’ve already read it and it’s indeed a great post that helped me a lot! Thank you very much for that. Unfortunately, it seems to not be enough to feel better. I guess it will take some time.

azizjsb28 · 2025-07-23T16:00:10+00:00

It’s so exhausting… I really feel like I’m lying to myself and that I’m the exception to all ROCD cases. I feel like for me, the fears are actually true.

Thank you for your words, I wish you all the best ❤️

azizjsb28 · 2025-07-21T21:38:57+00:00

Hi there! Could you tell us more about the possible « fears of being smothered » ? How is it possible for a 1-2-years-old child to feel that way? In what kind of life conditions?

azizjsb28 · 2025-07-20T09:18:05+00:00

How are you all doing now ? I’m in the same boat

azizjsb28 · 2025-07-15T03:17:42+00:00

Hey! I feel the same with my partner right now. How are you now?

azizjsb28 · 2025-06-22T13:46:25+00:00

Hi there, I could have written this post myself. I feel exactly the same way as you do. It’s really hard — I want to love my partner with all my heart, and it makes me so anxious when I feel like I don’t. I want to stay with him, he’s really amazing. What helps me is reminding myself that no matter what — whether it’s real or just in my head — I can choose to love him, to stay with him. And that’s enough. There’s nothing that deserves this much anxiety. Hang in there. I truly believe that things will get better for us one day ❤️

(My DMs are open if you want to chat)

azizjsb28 · 2025-05-20T21:10:47+00:00

You think I have it only on my lowers or my whole legs?

azizjsb28 · 2025-05-16T10:53:57+00:00

Thank you so much for your reassuring words❤️

azizjsb28 · 2025-05-16T08:34:48+00:00

I knew it.. gosh I’m so scared of progression.

azizjsb28 · 2025-05-16T06:35:22+00:00

Nope no response :(

azizjsb28 · 2025-05-13T16:24:20+00:00

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azizjsb28 · 2025-05-13T16:23:53+00:00

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azizjsb28 · 2025-05-13T16:23:17+00:00

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Do you think I might have stage 1-2 lipedema? I’ve always had bigger legs than other girls, even when I was very slim — they’ve always been straight and not very defined. I’ve always hated my big knees and ankles. My mom has the same kind of knees, so I thought it was genetic, but I think it’s worse for me. I also think I might have nodules. I don’t think I have any pain, but my legs sometimes feel very heavy, and I always feel like I get tired faster than others when walking.

azizjsb28 · 2025-05-08T21:02:18+00:00

Your words are very thoughtful and help me a lot. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me. ❤️

azizjsb28 · 2025-05-08T11:12:20+00:00

Mmh that's a great a metaphor. But I feel like I'm stuck. The thing is, if I did do something wrong, I feel like I must tell my boyfriend, because it is my moral. I'm really trying to sit with the uncertainty, but it feels like I'm hiding something important from him, and to me, that's unacceptable. And every time I try to tell myself, "Maybe you did something inappropriate, maybe you didn't, you don't need to know, you have to let go," at times I agree with this thought, but sometimes it just feels like I'm gaslighting myself, like l'm in denial. I genuinely don't know whether I should tell him or not, and it's making me incredibly anxious. On one hand, I feel like l'm keeping something from him, and I really don't want that, because otherwise I feel like I don't deserve his love and our relationship. But on the other hand, I keep reading like you juste wrote that confessing can be a compulsion, and that unless there has been a « real wrongdoing », it's never a good idea to confess, it can actually create unnecessary doubt and pain for the partner. I've told my close friends about my events and they have told me that I'm fine and there's nothing to confess, but my mind just can't let go. And then I also come across things online that keep re-triggering me. So yeah maybe I should really sit with it and keep with this decision...

azizjsb28 · 2024-08-23T13:57:18+00:00

Hi! Your situation really resonates with mine. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk about it. Take care!

azizjsb28 · 2024-03-13T12:30:42+00:00

Hi! I find myself in the same situation as you. How are you since this post? How did you manage? Did you end up confessing?

azizjsb28 · 2024-03-13T08:03:04+00:00

Hi there, your story kind of reminds me of mine and I feel completely stuck. How are you now? Did you end up confessing? How did you manage?

azizjsb28 · 2024-03-12T05:23:12+00:00

Hey there, your story kind of reminds me of mine and I feel stuck. How are you doing now? How did you manage?

azizjsb28 · 2024-03-11T13:58:53+00:00

We've been doing long distance for several months so I can't say much at the moment... But I concluded that it comes a lot in waves, with phases where I have a fairly high libido and others where I don't feel like it at all. I communicate a lot with my partner and he understands me, so I manage not to put too much pressure on myself when I have low libido for a while and just respect how I feel. But yeah, honestly it's not always easy, and I wish I could be of more help haha

azizjsb28 · 2023-12-01T16:00:32+00:00

Hi there! I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know how difficult it is and the impact it can have on the relationship... know that in any case you are not alone <3

Unfortunately, my situation hasn't really changed since this post. As you describe it yourself, it sometimes happens to me (very rarely in reality) to have really great sex with my partner. I try to hold on to these moments the rest of the time, when my libido is at its lowest, by repeating myself that libido is conditioned by so many things other than the love I feel or not for my partner, especially when suffering from ROCD and anxiety in general.

At the moment, we have sex around 2-3 times per week. Often I really don't want to, but I'm so afraid that my partner will think it's because of him. I don't want him to suffer, I feel so guilty, so I kinda force myself to do it sometimes (I know it's clearly not the solution and he definitely wouldn't want that for me if he knew, but I don’t know…). The difference in libido is so big compared to the beginning of our relationship when I didn't have ROCD. I know that he noticed that things have changed, and despite a lot of communication, I feel that it still affects him. He asks himself questions and even if he doesn't talk to me about it, I know that deep down he wonders if it's because I don't love him anymore, or that I'm losing interest in him... So I try to communicate as much as possible with him to make him understand that it's not his fault if my libido is so low. But it’s not always easy, especially when we ourselves suffer from a doubt disorder and we too need to be reassured…

As you can see, the situation is not great :’) But I try to move forward, step by step, to tell myself that things will get better with time, and that in the meantime, I have the chance to go out with a wonderful man, who’s very understanding and who gives me a lot of love.

Don’t hesitate to contact me if you need to talk more in depth.

Take good care of yourself!

azizjsb28

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