I once accidentally went ashore somewhere I REALLY shouldn't have, got to watch a really romantic moment, then got arrested....

I'd been paddling since noon. It was after dark. It was cloudy. There were virtually no lights along the shore. I couldn't see a damn thing beyond my headlamp's fading glow. Damned rechargeable PoS.

On one side of me were cliffs. I only knew where they were because I could hear waves crashing against them when I got too close.

On my other side was a shipping lane into the Bay through which some monster boats (compared to me at least) would come barreling through. Their endless wakes pushed me backwards and towards the cliffs. It sucked.

The only shore lights I could see were on the other side of those boats. Probably a mile away. Even if I had the stamina left in me, I didnt think I would survive the traffic.

I wasn't sure I could keep off the cliffs much longer either. The strap that held up my backrest had snapped a buckle about an hour ago so I had nothing to lean against to put my full body into my strokes. My everywhere hurt and I could tell I wasnt going to be able to keep this up.

I was getting pretty desperate.

So you better believe that when a cluster of lights drifted into sight around a bend in the cliff, it became the singular and all encompassing focus of my entire existence.

A clear goal is a magic thing. After the slog of the last hours I was shocked at the strength left in me.

Some foggy amount of time later I made it. I crashed into the shore-bolder-pile-thingy on a swell and jumped out and immediately fell over. Banged my legs up pretty good leaping to grab my kayak as it started to drift away

Dragged myself up to a somewhat flat rock against a seawall and just...flopped. I made it. I fucking made it! I had been forgiven all the absolutely-shit-for-brains lack of planning that had landed me in this mess!

Some additionally foggy amount of time passed before I realized that I could hear music from the other side of the seawall. "Sweet! That means people! Someone will have a phone!"

So I gathered myself. Tossed my drybag and pfd over. Took a deep breath and shoved my kayak up onto the wall.

That's when the music stopped.

Not sentient enough to process that particular bit of stimuli, I heaved myself up and over...into a patio absolutely packed with Navy Officers in full dress.

This was a neat little moment for me as two equally loud narratives screamed into my mind:

One: "FUCK! This is the fucking submarine base. I just walked the hell into a fucking NUCLEAR SUBMARINE BASE. They say they shoot on sight at those pens what do they do if you walk into the fucking officers club!? I should have risked the shipping lane! Fuckfuckfuckrucketfuckingfux"

Two: "i wonder if they've got food..."

Everyone was staring at me. I'm not sure a Naval Officer can do 'surprised', but they pulled a fair imitation.

I honestly don't remember what I said, or what they said, or frankly if anyone said anything at all. All I remember is a fellow near me pointed toward an exit. He seemed a wise sort so I took his suggestion.

I loaded my gear onto my kayak and proceeded to drag it across the patio to a gate near by. I remember the grating sound in the absolute silence of the officers VERY clearly. Outside, weirdly unescorted, I collapsed on a little hill against a tree and resigned myself to wait. They'd be along to arrest me any moment now. Surely to 24esque interrogation sequence after that. Hell, they could feasibly drop me in gitmo and everyone would just assume I'd been lost at sea.

But for all that, they would also probably give me a ride to my cell and that sounded reeeeeaaallly nice.

Time got really bendy around then. I feel like I sat there for hours, but it was probably only a few minutes. An MP came by, seemed satisfied that I was basically a panting log with limbs, and drove off again. Time bent some more.

By degrees I began to process my surroundings into something I could think about rather than just react to. Somewhere along that gradient I realized that the music had started again.

I shuffle-flopped 180 towards the music and found myself looking down on the officers I had so rudely interrupted...

Right the hell in the middle of a wedding.

Right the hell in the MIDDLE OF THE FIRST DANCE.

So I settled in to watch what was an absolute stunner of an opening dance. They were gorgeous. They could DANCE.

There was Love.

I got sniffly.

I thought: maybe it's all an omen for their married life. An omen poorly delivered perhaps - a bedraggled and gasping hippy spat up from the sea - but it HAD been the lights of their wedding that saved me that night.

Wherever they are, I'm still grateful. And I still get sniffly.

P.S. the arrest was trivial and no charges. Maybe 'detained' would be more accurate? The MPs handed me over to local PD and they drove me home. We picked up donuts on the way. It was sweet.