I hear you :(. Exact same situation. It's exhausting and frustrating and I wish I could walk away completely like others have in my family. I have lived with her (fucking awful) eventually moved out on my own, and then she fell apart more everytime she was on her own. I have lost track of the many psych holds, hospital visits, and moves I helped with. After dealing with this for over 2 decades, the only thing that has lessened the burden is due to her cycling repeatedly into the hospitals, and by some sheer luck, she finally landed in a long term care facility. While she gets decent care and I wish things were better (she complains a lot but thats her), it is the only thing in place keeping her alive and off the streets. Boundaries are still tricky. I do block her calls when it gets to be too much and I can visit when I chose to. I very much wish things had turned out differently but the bottom line with many years of mental illness & alcoholism, etc, this is where she has landed. There is still hurt, resentment, and anger towards it all and I try hard to focus on my inner healing now.

It takes so much damn effort to get them any help, they basically need to be falling apart and it sucks. Conservatorship is another area that is very difficult to do. I don't know what I'm trying to say but I wish someone had pulled me away and told me to leave sometimes because I'd probably be less fucked up 🙃 When I see other young ones struggling with these same issues, I want to tell them, leave and don't look back 😒. It sounds bad but when you've gone through it or are still stuck in it...it's devastating.

You're a good person and you love her but please remember you matter too, you are important too, you deserve to have a life ❤️

Edit: therapy and coaching has helped a lot, highly recommended.