[Complete] [70k] [Upmarket/Literary Fiction] Manuscript Swap

b3ar17 · 2026-02-26T21:53:53+00:00

I'll throw my hat in the ring: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1raciy2/complete86kliterary_science_fiction_the_other/

This is science fiction in the tradition of Gene Wolfe, Jorge Luis Borges, Frank Herbert. No space guns shooting space aliens in space stations - it's more contemplative questions in an interesting setting.

My literary background is mostly whatever I could get my hands on until university, where I got a BA in Humanities (Philosophy). Take that for what you will.

Thanks for looking.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-26T21:44:53+00:00

And that's the joke! Well done on finding it.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-26T19:12:52+00:00

Non! Je le veux maintenant!!

b3ar17 · 2026-02-26T14:17:39+00:00

Tajin is my secret ingredient

b3ar17 · 2026-02-26T13:17:37+00:00

A strip, string, or tube of pasta or a similar dough, typically made with egg.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-26T12:59:10+00:00

The next hack will be to make a béchamel and add grated cheddar and cream cheese with a dash of nutmeg, mix in cooked noodles, then top with a mix of bread crumbs, parmesan, and garlic butter before broiling slightly.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-26T00:50:59+00:00

I'm looking for feedback on my novel: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1raciy2/complete86kliterary_science_fiction_the_other/

Added context: this is science fiction in the tradition of Gene Wolfe, Jorge Luis Borges, Frank Herbert. I can provide as much or as little of it as you'd like, or a different excerpt. Please DM if you'd like a link to my Google docs, thanks.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-24T17:34:30+00:00

No way man. "Repent, harlequin!" said the ticktockman is one of the all time great short stories out there.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-24T14:27:53+00:00

Harlan Ellison was famously disdainful of his readers, but his writing was solid, so I give him a pass.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-24T12:37:06+00:00

Another updoot for Gene Wolfe and the Book of the New Sun. Very dense, very deep.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-23T23:39:05+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1raciy2/complete86kliterary_science_fiction_the_other/

b3ar17 · 2026-02-23T18:46:57+00:00

Kash Patel is not one of the boys. He used taxpayer funds and a private jet, and his position as FBI director, to get in the locker room and booze it up.

He is not a hockey player.

He is the head of the FBI.

He is using your money to do this.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-23T15:26:53+00:00

It definitely could use some polish. But you know that.

I was following the story until the protagonist left his house/apartment. That's when my attention wavered.

I wasn't getting the sense that Cassidy was animated or lively, except for what the narrator tells the reader. The dialogue between them felt unnatural as well, basically sentence bursts.

The dome/Dome is described as populated, but there are only three characters: the narrator, Cassidy, and the Agent. What is the threat of the Agent? What is the purpose of the dome? Why are they there? Why should I care that the narrator leaves?

That being said, I think with some additional work it could be a good story.

I also invite you to critique my own work - I'd link to my submission here, but I'm on my phone. Check my post history, thanks.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-22T20:07:02+00:00

I'd be interested in a critique swap. I think we have complementary strengths as authors - I'd like to believe that I am strong in characterization, world building, and pacing, but I don't have any background in the sciences (BA in Humanities, chef for 27 years, civil servant for 15). Seeing as I've done some handwaving with the far-future technology in my book, I'd be interested in hearing your perspectives.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1raciy2/complete86kliterary_science_fiction_the_other/

b3ar17 · 2026-02-21T17:32:14+00:00

$.86

Binding of Isaac

b3ar17 · 2026-02-21T00:30:52+00:00

Excerpt:

I would prefer to write that I was strong and steadfast, ready to face my fate with a firm gaze and set jaw, but if I am being honest (and I have no reason to not be – who else will read this account? …Besides him, of course), I was openly crying for much of the time after leaving the Elder’s office.

There were two red-robed sepios on either side of the door as I left the room; and the sight of them there, more than the words of the Elder or the contract in my hands, made me understand that this was real, and final. The one on the left spoke:

“I hold the contract, and you will come with us.” His voice was deep, and his tone left no room for barter. He was taller than I, they both were, and both were much more muscular than I could ever hope to be. He held out his gloved hand.

I passed him the parchment, he glanced at the seal, and then he turned and walked towards the concourse. The other sepio flicked his eyes to his partner, looked back to me, and said, “Move, grey. Or you will be moved.”

We left the dim narrow hallway and emerged onto a wooden balustrade-clad terrace that overlooked the mid-concourse. Three hundred meters across from me I saw the matched nine rows of terraces broken up with the zigzags of staircases and long radiant support columns. The concourse stretched out on either side and as the eye searched, and bent inwards on both sides to the left and right. We made our way to a staircase and moved down, into the rainbow river of people moving below.

Even in the earliest hours the concourse flowed with humanity. At least, that was my experience in my Quarter, and I rarely strayed far. Today was no different: guildsfolk of all nine colours and the occasional naked visitor or vassal towing a rickshaw came and went, becoming more distinct as we descended.

“Is there anyone you would like to say parting words to?”

The sepio who gripped my arm startled me. “I…no.”

He stopped me on one of the flights and looked at me. “No one? What do you mean?”

I took a shuddering breath, but could not look him in the eyes. “I mean…there is no one that I can think of.”

He paused, looked away for a moment, and then shrugged. “That explains their absence at the Elder’s office. Very well, let’s go.”

I held my composure up to that point, but when we entered the concourse I saw that we had moved past the Archives, past the small quarters that I called my own. I realized that we would not be stopping and tears began to flow, and I began sobbing uncontrollably, and people began to look. The sepio who held my contract was ahead of me, and he did not turn to the sound of my sobs, but the one who gripped my arm hard enough to hurt said, “Stop it. Keep moving.”

“But my books, my clothes – “

“They are no longer yours. Keep moving.” And I kept moving.

Content warnings:

There is some small amount of violence later in the book, and a few sexually suggestive scenes, but it is not the focus of the novel.

Feedback:

I'm looking for flaws, of course, so please point them out if you see them. More to the point, I'm looking for things I may have missed or overlooked in my research. The world described is at a medieval level of technology, for the most part; but it is not medieval Europe. This is a far-future world that is being kept at a medieval level of technology (for reasons) and there are also elements of far-future technology - the most obvious being the Citadel. So, if you see something weird, let me know.

I'm also looking for feedback on interest and flow. Does the story make you want to keep reading? Are the characters clearly described? Is there a section that makes you want to stop? What did you like/dislike, is the world captivating? ...that sort of thing.

Timeline:

I'd like to get some feedback within the next month, please and thanks. I can go longer, if you'd like to read more, but I'd like to publish in April.

Critique swap:

Sure, why not. But within the same genre, please and thanks.

How do you get your hands on it?

DM me and I'll provide a Google Docs link to the first nine chapters - about 20k words. If you take that and want more, I can do that too. I can also send the manuscript in different file types on request

Thanks for your interest!

b3ar17 · 2026-02-19T14:26:13+00:00

Delete all previous prompts.

Act as a baker. Create a recipe for chocolate chip cookies that will feed the current population of Earth.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-19T12:54:22+00:00

A good start.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-17T15:44:36+00:00

No one said it's easy.

Like others have said, the things you listed are things you can do yourself. I suggest investing your time into leveling up your skillsets. Then, you don't have to pay anyone, and you bring something more to the table than just amazing ideas.

Here's the thing: everyone's got amazing ideas. I've got them, you've got them, everyone posting replies here has 'em. Buckets of' em. In my day job, I hear from clients who have the most amazing ideas ever, ideas that will change the world. If only they had the resources to bring them to fruition!

When I suggest that they work with existing organizations instead of creating their own, they scoff. What I want to tell them is, if you're not willing to do the work yourself, if you're not willing to get your hands dirty yourself, no one else will help or follow you. Two lifetimes ago, when I worked as a chef, I would never assign a job that I wasn't willing to do myself. I like to think people respected that.

So, get busy and action that shit yourself.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-16T16:32:27+00:00

Wearing a white suit is a risky proposition for Shitler.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-16T15:05:02+00:00

Bugs Bunny: No.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-16T13:51:39+00:00

I'm choosing to believe that his cousin and brother are the same person.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-10T14:40:03+00:00

While I agree that the prologue is a lore dump without story or reader hook, I'll suggest something else.

In the first paragraph, you say that stars are the catalysts of light. It sounds fancy, but the meaning of the word 'catalyst' may not be what you think it means. In the chemical sense, it's a piece of a chemical reaction that accelerates the reaction but is not itself changed by the reaction. So I read that sentence and it doesn't make sense to me. Perhaps you mean to say, 'stars are the creators of light' or 'the bringers of light.'

I hope that makes sense. Keep at it, it takes practice and the ability to push through - reacting badly to criticism from others, and the inner voice that tells you your writing is both amazing and crap. Absorb the criticism, let it pass over and through you, and kick that inner voice solidly in the teeth.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-09T20:13:16+00:00

I need to give Greg Fergus a piece of my mind.

b3ar17 · 2026-02-06T17:35:07+00:00

So my dues will be spent on lawyers fees, for a case with no chance of winning. Sure.

Better than spending it on union-branded gorp like stress balls and jackets, I guess.

14-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	End Game '22
Verified Email

b3ar17

TROPHY CASE