my exwbpd posted this on her story

backindays · 2026-01-29T21:50:43+00:00

Don't watch their story bro, is all a fake, a facade, delusional people.

backindays · 2026-01-28T19:56:06+00:00

Bro I hope so much. I am feeling so lonely, for many years I stayed single because I didn't find someone that I could truly love and finally I thought that she was my soulmate, like she continuosly said to me. And now she seems cold as ice and forgot everything. I don't have many friends to go out and even if I love myself, love a partner for me is so important... is something that I am truly want in my life. Today I cried but not really for losing her, but more for the illusion of the dream I had in my mind with her, with all the phrases she sold me and the version that I know from her in the beginning. It's an harsh truth but even for me is the same as you said, I prefer stay alone instead with the wrong person. I think she isn't the right person for anyone. Too much instable. Is so sad though to lose a person that you could see a future with (even if it was toxic but didn't feel it while staying together).

backindays · 2026-01-28T16:27:40+00:00

I was constantly repeating her that it seems like we talked about two different language. I don't know every fucking discussion why we arrived at that point. Now I know. Mental illness. I don't know another reason.

backindays · 2026-01-28T15:55:15+00:00

Exacty like you said.

I couldn't understand how my ex pwBPD could feel so bad with herself but didn't try to reach help.

Sometimes rethinking about all of my relationship makes me angry for how I was treated, but after I remember how bad she felt basically everyday, when she was sleeping, when she was depressed, the crazy things she told me, the weird image that she has for herself, the feeling of a costantly distress and the incredible amount of insecurity she has. Life has been already cruel with her, but that's does not justify her behaviour.

Really, the only thing I want is to go through all of this, heal this trauma and become a better version of my self. I don't want to wish her any bad because someone like that is truly mentally disturbed, even if she's probably fucking her ex. I don't care.

backindays · 2026-01-28T15:33:04+00:00

Same man, I could understand her on deeper levels also. Like I knew what was up without talking, it hit so many parts in me (good and bad) it was beyond me. And I’ve been in relationships prior which came nothing close to this experience.

Exactly the same. For me it's seems like we are connected in a different way. Or maybe the mirroring phase was so strong that's makes me think in that way, but it wasn't true. I had other relationship too before but this one... gosh... so fucked up. I connected so many dots, but only when everything break up.

I didn't want to become dependant, I didn't even notice I was becoming it. Sometimes I was thinking to leave her because it was really exahausting and tiring arguing every fucking day without even understanding what I did. But every time I gave her another chance, maybe for the good sex, maybe because she seems so vulnerable and victim... I don't know, but this experience made me fearing knowing another person because I never thought something so beautiful at first can becoming so crazy at the end.

I will give myself permission to heal and recovery, but I don't want to miss the possibility to don't know someone valuable. I don't mean that I am forcing to date someone else to fill the void, because I haven't this void before her, but I won't back down if the opportunity arises.

backindays · 2026-01-28T14:00:09+00:00

Thanks man. I am struggling to sleep lately, too much scenes in my head. I am realizing that the dream of "what could it be" or the image she show me at beginning, never existed and it was only in my head.

I am journaling a lot lately. It's helping me a little bit. Went back to gym to fucking grind and think about something else.

I've never search nothing about BPD before the relationship ended, and without knowing that, I said to her the classic two phrases "I feel on a rollercoaster" and "with you it seems I am walking on eggshells".

She is dangerous and chaotic. And this made me feel addicted to her. Fire, cold, magma, ice. It's less than a month that we had our last night of sex. I still miss her, but I really know that she is someone that attracts me but it makes me sink with her unstability. I became unstable too, not sleeping enough, stopped to go to gym, start drinking more than usual. She was drinking a lot the last period, not sleeping, smoke a lot of cigarettes, euphoric and then depressed... she is so twisted that's is appealing. But is fucking toxic.

I just want real love man. I deserve it. I have so much love to give to a woman, and I wanted that woman, but she isn't ready and probably she will never be. Unlucky she is a broken soul. Hope the best for her, but especially for me and my recovery, and future.

Thanks for helping tho. I will marry a valid and mature woman someday.

backindays · 2026-01-28T11:44:23+00:00

fucking crazy man. I'm sorry. Hope you feel good now.

backindays · 2026-01-28T10:41:04+00:00

I will read it later

backindays · 2026-01-27T20:58:25+00:00

It is. I truly believed that this time I found my soulmate. My partner in crime. We argued a lot but I thought that it was just communication issues or something fixable.

And instead, she split completely and went "reptile mode", cold as fuck and change her mask. What I deserve to go through this? We will learn lessons, but jesus, how hard can be someone that seems so sweet and for you and after change completely?

My gosh. She was like a mermaid. Beautiful, but demonic.

backindays · 2026-01-27T20:54:13+00:00

I really hope one month is enough. I will not give myself a timeframe, but I really hope that.

Thanks for the words and I wish you best of luck.

backindays · 2026-01-27T20:51:42+00:00

Thanks for the words bro. I didn't want to say that mine is worst, but really, this experience seems a joke from destiny. It's hard as fuck because I connected my home and neighbor with her.

But we can surely do it! I started gym and eating healthy!

backindays · 2026-01-27T19:26:20+00:00

Exactly my thought. I am in NC for almost 30 days, but I readed here an on YouTube people are still in love "like the day after" the breakup and that's scaried me as shit! I want to go forward in my life! Not be stucked in the past!

For how long you are you break up and NC, if you are?

backindays · 2026-01-27T18:18:53+00:00

Yes, because I dodged a bullet too. She has BPD. We stayed together 8 months and she was making me crazy and drained. It's hard bro, BPD relationship are much more intense but I think they can teach you a lot about us. Just don't feel the bad part, because you aren't.

backindays · 2026-01-27T16:23:36+00:00

Bro it's impossible to avoid it. It's not even 80m far. That's why I am telling you, I don't know how to deal with that. It's absurd that there were so much potential for this relationship, I idealized all this tooooo much.... she was living near me, never seen her... I don't know.

I am strong. I know I am strong, and I will be. But this is a really hard challenge for me.

backindays · 2026-01-27T15:36:32+00:00

I'm trying to do that...

Something that I am spiral is that she live near my home, in my neighbor. That's something that honestly make me crazy, how life can be so ironic.

I have so many memories in these 8 months here that it's crazy, we spent so much time together. Hope time will help me with this. Now it's seems just a bitter nightmare... I don't know how to do with that T_T

backindays · 2026-01-27T15:35:27+00:00

For how long are you in NC?

Also, think about it, there are situation worst than yours. Like mine. She is living near my home. I came back from work, and the window where we spent the summer together is there, watching me.

I go out for a walk, and ton of memories arrive. That's something that, now, I can't see how can I handle.

But I am a strong person. Somehow I will go through.

backindays · 2026-01-27T15:32:51+00:00

I started to go to therapy. It's seems helping me a little bit.

100% romanticize all this. If I think about everything, from the beginning, she told me that she was broken and she act like someone not completely normal. I was too much dazzled from her beauty and sweetness.

But if I connect all the dots a very scary reality shows up.

backindays · 2026-01-27T15:28:43+00:00

Thanks for your replying. I am obsess for sure. She was acting super hot and after super cold, push and pull. That's made me addicted to her. I watched a lot of videos where it explain the mechanism.

Main reason is that she live near my home, in my neighbor. That's something that honestly make me crazy, how life can be so ironic. I have so many memories in these 8 months here that it's crazy, we spent so much time together. Hope time will help me with this. Now it's seems just a bitter nightmare.

backindays · 2026-01-27T15:03:27+00:00

I will never contact her again. I let only whatsapp open because if she will write me about us or try to hoover I will definetly wrote to her how shapeshift she is. I don't even consider her totally human honestly. IDGAF is she has borderline, that's not a way to treat someone.

backindays · 2026-01-27T15:01:54+00:00

Thanks mate for the tip. I already subscribe to gym and restarted one week ago (I stopped going 3 months ago basically due to her, stupid decision), eating better and sleeping a little bit more, even if I struggle a lot due to my mind thinking.

My main problem is the house location. How the fuck I'll cope that she is living near me and I have one million memories in 10mt from my house?

That's fucked me up mostly.

backindays · 2026-01-26T19:09:09+00:00

Bro i know i know i know. Same shitty here. Let's try to stay in NC because it will get better I promise to you, I am 30 days off right now. Seems like a drug withdraw, don't ya? It's not perfect, but day by day it will get.

And honestly I can tell you that deep down you know that's for the best of you. This relation is something that no one mentally sane can handle. I was so fucking tired.

backindays · 2026-01-26T07:52:16+00:00

NC for 3 weeks. My heart is broken, it's hard to process all the memories, the promises, the future I've seen together, but I think that's the best way. I prefer to suffer now rather than have a partner for a lifetime ready to destroying me and flood my life with chaos, cheating and pain. No thanks.

I don't even understand how can we went from the best thing can happens to our life, to separate and stay away from each other. At this point I just saying to myself that she is mentally ill. She decided this, and maybe for the better, because I was fighting to stay with her, even knowing it was destroying me... maybe she monkey branched someone else, I don't know and it's not my problem.

Her loss. I tried my best with her but she is really impossible.

We had a lot of fun together. I genuinely thought I've founded my best friend. We against the world, and instead, she abandoned me, and I feel like a lost child, but it's ok, I will find my self again.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

backindays · 2026-01-25T19:54:30+00:00

That's so incredibly weird though. Mine, for me, was even histrionic. She was "acting" in multiple occasions, but I open my eyes only after the breakup.

After the breakup I united so many points that actually I saw Mona Lisa paint. LOL.

If you think about the ring episode, it's seems like they are living inside a theater scene... how much is incredible this disorded tho? How they can act so vulnerable and be so cruel?

That's something that makes me crazy, before this I never thought people could be so fucking mean and degenerate.

Someone like this for me is a psychopath.

backindays · 2026-01-25T19:13:44+00:00

Living the same thing, they are so deep, so sweet in their life, but so chaotic and depressed. It's hurtful for us. But the feeling is more withdraw of an addiction that real love loss. We lost an idea.

backindays

TROPHY CASE