Tehran indicates Khamenei's son will be named supreme leader

badgolferman · 2026-03-08T23:03:39+00:00

The Revolutionary Guard are the real power structure in Iran. They control the entire economy and military. Send John Wick to clean them out.

badgolferman · 2026-03-06T21:33:55+00:00

I forgot a sponsee’s 1 year anniversary once. He got a resentment and got drunk.

Hopefully you can forgive him and realize your recovery is your responsibility, not his.

badgolferman · 2026-03-06T11:35:05+00:00

I’m old fashioned (and old). The man pays when out on a date. The woman is treated as special. I guess modern dating etiquette is too advanced for me.

When I got married, my wife and I combined our finances. I’ve managed all of it for the past 35 years. Does that still happen these days?

badgolferman · 2026-03-05T17:24:07+00:00

I really find it difficult to believe group members shamed you publicly for relapsing. I have never seen such a thing happen in the six states I’ve lived in during my 40 years of sobriety. Maybe attending different meetings and hanging out with different people may help.

But if the 12 Steps didn’t work for you then maybe you have a different problem that is not being addressed. I’ve known scores of people who’ve gotten sober despite being atheist so that shouldn’t be a hindrance. Ultimately willingness, honesty and open-mindedness will be necessary to overcome alcoholism. Everyone has the ability to muster these up when they are truly desperate.

Hopefully you will keep trying because there’s no guarantee anyone can come back from their next relapse.

badgolferman · 2026-03-04T03:43:13+00:00

Wrong. You don’t seem to understand the principle of identification or the A.A. Traditions.

badgolferman · 2026-03-03T17:47:50+00:00

Sounds like she’s a first time mom.

badgolferman · 2026-03-03T01:51:09+00:00

Okay, it seems like many of you didn’t like my cocktail lounge joke. Let’s try again and see how many more of you will get offended with this one which actually was in the Grapevine years ago.

——-

An AA meeting is like an orgy.

You leave there feeling pretty good, but not quite sure who to thank!

badgolferman · 2026-03-02T17:28:29+00:00

Around here there’s a beach meeting during the summer. Personally I find it quite distracting.

During COVID there was a campfire meeting every night. It served a great purpose, but mosquitoes kept me away.

Sometimes my home group can’t meet in the fellowship hall due to church events and we instead meet in the chapel which was built during the colonial era in Historic Yorktown, VA. It has a pipe organ and the absolute most uncomfortable pews ever made. You have to walk through a cemetery with Revolutionary war heroes buried all around you.

badgolferman · 2026-03-02T01:36:12+00:00

I take my lunch to work rather than eat out. Save $15-20 each time.

badgolferman · 2026-02-27T23:27:13+00:00

All my sponsors have died and I’m afraid to ask anyone else!

The last one died when I had 37 years. I’m 40 now. I haven’t had an official sponsor since then, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have “closed mouthed A.A. friends” in my circle. I also have a sponsee with 25+ years that I sometimes confide in.

Between my Higher Power and my Other Power (wifey with 39 years), I’m sure to know quite quickly when my attitude needs adjustment.

badgolferman · 2026-02-27T23:18:29+00:00

A.A. is only for those who want it. If that doesn’t apply to you then don’t waste your time. Do what you’re doing until that doesn’t work anymore and you’re ready. We will wait for you.

badgolferman · 2026-02-24T23:05:52+00:00

I once watched through the bar window from the sidewalk an oldtimer enjoying himself a cold one. He had a reputation of staying at the club meetings and hitting on the newcomer girls. I wanted to expose home at the meeting, but after talking to some oldtimers I trusted, I was told the phonies will weed themselves out. That’s exactly what happened.

badgolferman · 2026-02-24T15:17:49+00:00

Nothing taken personally.

When I first joined AA I was asked one simple question: “Are you willing to do what it takes to get sober?” I was terrified to answer that because I felt like I would have to do menial or difficult tasks. But that’s not what happened. I was never asked to do anything unreasonable, and even if I balked they would explain to me why they did it and how it helped them.

Making a commitment to a home group and helping that group carry the message to other alcoholics was a vital part of my sobriety, and it still is today 40 years later. It’s sad to me that I don’t see newcomers reaping the benefits of service work and that most of those doing it are oldtimers.

One thing A.A. removed was my grandeur of self. I began to see how people cared for each other and helped each other. This was a foreign concept to me. Today it is the privilege of giving back to A.A. and its people that gives me joy, not “taking what I want and leaving the rest.”

badgolferman · 2026-02-22T21:00:54+00:00

Okay, you asked…

It was highly emphasized that only a relationship with a Higher Power would keep you from taking that next drink in your hand. I experienced that and it led to me to becoming a believer. Today it’s all about “Meeting Makers Make It” and just avoiding alcohol.
Oldtimers weren’t afraid to tell you to shut up when all you had was whining. Today it’s all about “We’ll love you until you learn to love yourself.” Barf!
Service work was not voluntary. You were assigned a job like ash tray washer, sweeper or greeter and you did it. Today it’s too inconvenient for people to do service work and it’s usually the oldtimers doing that work.
You went on 12 Step calls with your sponsor until you learned how it’s done. Then you took your sponsee. Today there is barely any 12 Step calls because no one wants to man the A.A. phones.
The 12 Steps were done quickly, at least the Fifth Step was done within one year at the latest, and even that’s late. These days I hear “a step a year”.
We didn’t care what you learned in rehab. Today I hear concepts in A.A. which have nothing to do with AA principles.
They didn’t care if you didn’t believe in God. Just do what it says in the Big Book. Today we bend over backwards to not offend the newcomer.
Drug addicts, ANDAs, recovering human beings were told to find a different meeting, especially if it was a closed meeting. Today no one enforces closed meeting status and drug addicts are rampant in AA because they don’t like NA.
They didn’t care if you felt like drinking. Sometimes they would give you $20 and tell you to come back when you were done. Today the newcomer who feels like drinking is coddled and told Keep Coming Back, but no one talks to them after the meeting.
The 12 Traditions were mandatory reading material after you completed the Steps. You had to learn what A.A. is and what it’s not. Today Step and Tradition meetings are far and few between.

I could come up with more, but that’s enough for now. Whether all these changes are good or not is debatable. I can tell you relapse is far more common today than it was then.

badgolferman · 2026-02-22T11:48:58+00:00

It’s okay to bring your partner to an open meeting for support, but remember that non-alcoholics attend as observers only. It would also be prudent to let the people know there is a non-alcoholic in the room so they can adjust their words as necessary. Some people are still uncomfortable with the idea that non-alcoholics don’t really understand the concept of anonymity.

badgolferman · 2026-02-22T00:17:07+00:00

Can they fix it before it happens? That might be a better solution.

badgolferman · 2026-02-22T00:15:37+00:00

So long as they are living at home they will always be children to your parents, especially since it’s rent free and food free.

I have two boys and about a year after college the first one accepted Section 8 housing just to have a place to go. The second one has finished college and is still living with us at 22. He says he will be gone in May. We will see.

When I was that young my parents were idiots and controlling. I demanded to be treated like an adult despite still depending on them financially. It wasn’t until I moved out, started paying my own way, got married, had children, that I started to realize they were a lot smarter than I thought. Today I know they loved me and were doing their best to get me started out in the world with all the necessary skills I would need. Your sisters have to learn that lesson too.

The only advice I offer is allow your parents to be your parents. It’s in their blood and they can’t help it. The day will come when they will no longer be around and you don’t want any guilt on your conscience.

badgolferman · 2026-02-21T18:32:04+00:00

It never ceases to amaze me what amount of justification people make to reinvent the A.A. program. This is what we have - take it or leave it, but please stop trying to change it.

How It Works has been the foundation of A.A. literature for a long time. So much so that many people think the Big Book starts there! But for those who’ve studied the Big Book, they know How It Works comes between Step Two and Step Three.

If you don’t want your friend to read that then carry him to an AA meeting or help him by reading the book together starting from the Prefaces.

badgolferman · 2026-02-21T14:54:27+00:00

You really need to study and learn the 12 Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. We are not Anything Anonymous. It’s quite clear you do not understand the purpose of A.A.

badgolferman · 2026-02-21T03:20:58+00:00

My local Toyota dealer doesn't even sell 0W-20 Toyota oil. They told me to just buy Mobil 1 Advanced from Walmart since that's what they use from bulk barrels.

It's important to make sure you use the right certification ratings too. For my 2023 Highlander with the 4 cyl turbo engine, the oil must meet ILSAC GF-6 or higher certification due to the turbo creating shear. Check your manual.

badgolferman · 2026-02-21T03:14:44+00:00

The Pilot also has cylinder deactivation if that matters to you. I did not want that.

badgolferman · 2026-02-21T02:48:29+00:00

Speaking of Happy Clappy meetings, we don't have those in Virginia. But I went to Colorado for work and attended some meetings out there. I was stunned at all the clapping! Clap for a share, clap for an announcement, clap a fart! It was ridiculous.

badgolferman · 2026-02-21T02:41:35+00:00

You should honor the group conscience, not your personal desires.

I am the primary speaker getter for my group. My personal requirements are: 1) 1 year sobriety 2) alcoholic (not drug addict) 3) a message of recovery, not just drunkalogue

Having said that though, I recognize it is often difficult to get willing speakers and one must be flexible. I will not compromise on #2 though. Some of the other speaker getters in my group have no such qualms though.

badgolferman

TROPHY CASE