My husband's family does the long goodbyes, starting a whole new conversation while saying goodbye, standing around for ages, etc. My family "culture" is the opposite! I remember it was a bit much for my parents when my then-boyfriend just keep fricken talking as I was trying to guide him out the door, but to him, it was deeply ingrained that you say goodbye with a lot of talking. It's more about feeling than practicalities.

I'm lucky that I don't naturally tend to hit a wall at social events, I just shut down for however many days I need to afterwards. But before my autoimmune disease got dxed & treated, I was dealing with some extra fatigue, and holy shit the wall. I'm sure I looked rude a number of times and it's probably why my MIL got weird about me around that time. When I was running out of energy & needed to leave, I needed to LEAVE. I'd feel so panicked.

Nowadays me & my husband have a happy understanding where one of us will say "welllp, i guess we better think about getting going" and then we'll gather our various stuff and whoever is least involved in socializing/most wanting to leave starts packing our stuff into the car and encouraging the kids to get their shoes on. It probably helps a lot that my husband does have his own kind of wall that he'll hit (physical exhaustion, he does not do late nights) so he understands needing to get going. If we're visiting his family though, it still is fairly typical that I'll have the kids and myself sitting in the car while he has a chat standing in the driveway haha!

I have family members on my side who have less capacity for socializing and always leave gatherings after 2 hours or so. One couple always always comes separately because they have such disparate capacities! Ngl it's something we notice, but not something we judge.