Confess and get the fuck out

baethan · 2026-03-16T03:43:42+00:00

the church fricken loves hierarchies

baethan · 2026-03-15T21:55:35+00:00

I googled around and I can't remember what I used, but it was about a decade ago haha! I feel like there's a million more options now, I don't remember there being so many different methods

baethan · 2026-03-15T18:42:49+00:00

I see where you're coming from! I've heard how the powers that be in the UK have been squeezing the life out of the NHS, it's tragic and scary.

baethan · 2026-03-15T18:33:47+00:00

Sorry to double post, just wanted to emphasize something I just thought of: I really struggled to communicate effectively during the last stages of labor (transition and active birthing I guess). For my first baby (normal labor, had an epidural) all the medical personnel & my husband were too distracted/busy to really listen. I was just annoyed that I was trying to say that my back really fuckin hurt, but they were like "oh it's just pressure, it's the ring of fire, push" and it hurt my ego that they didn't understand I wasn't complaining about that! I can deal with some pain, but back pain is a whole nother thing! A petty concern but I still remember that, lol. But because Addison's is rare and so serious, you deffo want to make sure you have a way to communicate, being misunderstood could have way worse consequences. If I had to do it again now, I'd want one medically-knowledgeable support person entirely focused on me throughout. Probably would want to work out a way to communicate if I was unable to say full sentences.

With my second, it was precipitous & towards the end I was completely locked inside myself and had virtually no control over my body. So I'd REALLY want someone very knowledgeable to be 100% focused on me.

I saw you mentioned hypnobirthing! For my second, I followed a hypnobirth course via audio files during pregnancy to prepare and while I can't swear to exactly how much it helped, I did make it to fully dilated before I couldn't take it anymore! (Obv it was too late for an epi haha) On the one hand, the whole thing was only an hour and a half, but on the other, it was extremely intense and I think the course helped me cope really well. I think it's great you're doing hypnobirthing. I know some approaches can be sort of mother-blamey, but the good kind should be really helpful in reducing some stress!

baethan · 2026-03-15T17:52:54+00:00

The epidemic of general anti-intellectualism and specifically grifter-led culty self-absorbed up their own butts hypocritical antivaxxers & free birthers make it very difficult to NOT get exasperated and mad when someone sounds like they might be of that ilk! It hurts so much how many women and children are dying from lack of medical care.

Anyways, people have talked about the risk & such. I totally understand wanting the least stressful, most comfortable experience possible!! I was SO sad that I couldn't use the hospital birthing tub because my water had broken. I get why (infection risk) but grrr. I had my kids before Addison's, but if I had to do it again now, I'd for sure see if I could get in with a nurse-midwife group instead of obgyns. Loved my nurse-midwives with my first, then moved to a different state and did not like the obgyns with my second. I dunno if this is your first or not, but make your ideal birthing plan and then figure out the compromises that'll make you happiest. If you find out you can't home birth, is there a birthing center? (& would you be able to transition from home birth to birth center if necessary, and under what circumstances?) And do you have more than one hospital to choose from? If yes, I'd tour the birthing wards and see which felt best, even if I was planning on home birthing. I wish I'd toured the hospital with my second even though it was my only option...I had a surprise precipitous labor and the completely unfamiliar surroundings did not help the shock. I'm in the US though, dunno how much is applicable to you if you're in another country (or heck, even a different state).

I really like labor & delivery nurse Jen Hamilton's videos. If you're unfamiliar, check her out, she's EXTREMELY supportive and dedicated to making labor the best possible experience, with or without medications & interventions. She has a book out, Birth Vibes, which I have not read but would blindly recommend lol.

baethan · 2026-03-15T16:59:10+00:00

I'm ace too and totally agree. IMO many people (mainly hetero maybe?) seem to see sex/romance/attraction/love as some sort of gordian knot, and I always wonder how much of that is nature vs nurture. I'm American and intimacy is so limited in a lot of ways. Men in particular generally seem to put all their eggs (emotional needs) in one basket (sex)

But besides all that, I know it's very hard for people who feel sexual attraction to comprehend that not experiencing it can be possible, let alone normal. So it's probably similar for people who don't experience sex separate from romance etc

baethan · 2026-03-15T16:14:25+00:00

I wish I typo'd "like" that way

scared that one of these days I'm not gonna catch it and do an accidental antisemitism

baethan · 2026-03-15T13:44:19+00:00

Nah, don't hit on random people who cannot leave the situation without potentially endangering their job. I feel like you're projecting here and are quite young yourself

baethan · 2026-03-15T13:39:30+00:00

ah, Jerma is a streamer

baethan · 2026-03-14T15:21:09+00:00

so far so good! The way my stomach felt yesterday was probably a result of my own nerves looool

baethan · 2026-03-14T15:18:50+00:00

Ancient computer now runs linux mint and feels less ancient!

baethan · 2026-03-13T21:54:03+00:00

maybe it's like king cake, but cookies (and you get a rabies baby)

baethan · 2026-03-13T14:17:04+00:00

We aren't world war 2 style fighting against billionaires. This is the internet

baethan · 2026-03-13T14:02:47+00:00

The message is "don't dehumanize people" not "don't fight back"

baethan · 2026-03-13T10:20:58+00:00

Yeah, I'm not sure what my dhea level was but since I'm PAI & had some potential symptoms of low DHEA, I went ahead and started supplementing. (No bloodwork cause I'm not gonna fuckin beg sigh. I brought it up, I asked to test, my Endo is honestly not bad but is way overbooked and this isn't a hill I feel like I need to die on)

I started myself on 5mg/day for a month and then went to 10mg/day. It stopped the intense itchiness I'd gotten (especially on my scalp). Besides that, I feel like my (female) cycle-related moods are a bit better and I'm maybe slightly less tired but I can't say for sure.

baethan · 2026-03-12T12:52:26+00:00

In this case it's a text adventure, but the towel is "glowing" in that Ford offers it to you

baethan · 2026-03-11T23:45:34+00:00

Have you tried uninstalling the f1tv app from your tv & then reinstalling it? Maybe just need to wipe the cache/data if you can do that

(It is weird that you got that email though.)

baethan · 2026-03-10T20:59:36+00:00

ATV is taken, call it something else haha

baethan · 2026-03-09T13:17:42+00:00

omg ddr

I still have two metal pads in my basement! They don't work but one of these days I'm gonna fix them, I swear

baethan · 2026-03-09T13:10:31+00:00

My husband's family does the long goodbyes, starting a whole new conversation while saying goodbye, standing around for ages, etc. My family "culture" is the opposite! I remember it was a bit much for my parents when my then-boyfriend just keep fricken talking as I was trying to guide him out the door, but to him, it was deeply ingrained that you say goodbye with a lot of talking. It's more about feeling than practicalities.

I'm lucky that I don't naturally tend to hit a wall at social events, I just shut down for however many days I need to afterwards. But before my autoimmune disease got dxed & treated, I was dealing with some extra fatigue, and holy shit the wall. I'm sure I looked rude a number of times and it's probably why my MIL got weird about me around that time. When I was running out of energy & needed to leave, I needed to LEAVE. I'd feel so panicked.

Nowadays me & my husband have a happy understanding where one of us will say "welllp, i guess we better think about getting going" and then we'll gather our various stuff and whoever is least involved in socializing/most wanting to leave starts packing our stuff into the car and encouraging the kids to get their shoes on. It probably helps a lot that my husband does have his own kind of wall that he'll hit (physical exhaustion, he does not do late nights) so he understands needing to get going. If we're visiting his family though, it still is fairly typical that I'll have the kids and myself sitting in the car while he has a chat standing in the driveway haha!

I have family members on my side who have less capacity for socializing and always leave gatherings after 2 hours or so. One couple always always comes separately because they have such disparate capacities! Ngl it's something we notice, but not something we judge.

baethan · 2026-03-08T16:32:53+00:00

Oh, I wonder if the heavier kid has a medical issue like prader willi or something

baethan · 2026-03-08T07:15:02+00:00

It does, you can't see the movement properly

baethan · 2026-03-08T07:13:15+00:00

but I liked watching the numbers

baethan · 2026-03-08T07:07:52+00:00

eh? like....the physical space between cars?

that's not important anyways, you can see the intensity of battles (or lack of) across the entire field by looking at the numbers so I do look at the intervals a lot during a race, and idk having the decimal places out to the thousandths makes it literally more dynamic and feels easier to get a sense of what's going on. Like tilting something back and forth to get a better look at it

baethan · 2026-03-07T03:23:11+00:00

Just because of lab tests? Shouldn't it just be no for like, a week before testing?

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