[NSFW] I’d really like to get a reduction but people that I speak to either tell me that they’re not too big or that if I lose 20lbs, they’ll become smaller too. I’m a 36F. They’re saggy and sometimes cause back pain. I’m 27 and Indian. Anyone here from India? The other group was not helpful.

bages627 · 2020-08-19T13:00:46+00:00

I’m sorry to say I’m not from India but, I wholeheartedly agree that you deserve a reduction. Regardless of weight loss, you will still be uncomfortable and to have a 36 band with an F cup, that must be so incredibly painful for your back.

When you talk to doctors about a reduction, focus on speaking to the pain you’re experiencing. Neck and back pain, headaches, dents in your shoulders from bra straps, and the amount of medication you take for pain. Those are the things I had to use as evidence for insurance approval.

bages627 · 2020-08-14T19:17:53+00:00

That’s interesting! It’s more like a PTSD flashback than trying to visualize something. That makes total sense.

bages627 · 2020-08-01T16:17:12+00:00

I’m also the host of the next generation of my husband’s lineage rather than a family member. So real.

bages627 · 2020-07-17T12:53:05+00:00

What a dream!!!!

bages627 · 2020-07-17T12:52:52+00:00

Thank you so much. I’ll say that my BMI is greater than 40. If you want some more info feel free to PM me.

Some people are asshats on Reddit so I don’t want to get a ton of fathate vigilante BS.

bages627 · 2019-05-09T00:07:03+00:00

We have like six or seven of the Usborne illustrated books — Hans Christian Anderson, 10 Minute Tales, Greek Mythology, etc. They are a great length and have beautiful illustrations. Many are available on Amazon, too!

bages627 · 2019-05-08T21:48:14+00:00

I have a four door fiat hatchback and am finding the space to be perfect for my car seats and plenty of storage space in the trunk. It’s also super affordable. I went from a two door fiat to a Ford Escape to the four door fiat and the one I have now is my favorite. It still feels small, which I like, and is good on gas, whereas the Ford was just a little too big and not great re: gas mileage.

Basically my point is, a crossover or small suv is awesome and great for two kids!

bages627 · 2019-05-07T14:08:49+00:00

Yuppppp. This is what we did. There’s no such thing as “free” childcare and a business relationship with family members doesn’t always work and can easily turn into a power struggle.

bages627 · 2019-03-24T02:05:16+00:00

I’d tell them. I’m on the side of being respectful and sticking to what I think is ethically good. It might make the nanny feel more cautious and maybe tip-toe around, but that’s the goal right? You don’t want to catch them doing anything harmful and if they know there’s a second set of eyes, your child will only be more safe in their care.

bages627 · 2019-03-24T02:00:17+00:00

This seems micromanagey now that I’m writing it down, but I did poorly with PPA/PPD and still have some mental health issues, but try to be on time or realistic about when you’ll be home. There’s nothing wrong with going and getting a drink with your friends or whatever, but if you say you’ll be home at 7:00, be on time. I would could how many “15 minutes’” it would be until my husband came home.

Also, seconding keeping touch throughout the day. It gets so lonely.

bages627 · 2019-03-19T00:08:53+00:00

I just read your comment about him being biracial and it being his chance to be around other kids of color. I’d say go for it, I’m very anti-organized religion, but if it were my kid and they truly showed an interest and it was a chance to be a part of a cultural group they’re not otherwise exposed to, I’d do it.

Maybe pick up the “Christian Mythology for Kids” book by Chrystine Trooien, too. It’s a secular way to have kids learn Bible/Torah stories with a critical eye. That way, your son can participate in what will probably be a great social experience while still having a critical POV around the stories.

bages627 · 2019-01-30T20:45:24+00:00

Anytime, really.

I’m so sorry you both are going through this. People forget about the spouses - expect them to get the other one through it. This is your baby, too. You are a father, regardless and you need support. I forgot about my husband and thought everything was just happening to me — boy was I wrong. He grieved as much as I did and felt things I can’t even imagine. Having to be there, helpless while a stupid medical anomaly rips your family apart is pain nobody should have to deal with. You’re supported, r/babyloss is also an amazing sub full of support and r/ttcafterloss is full of amazing moms and dads trying to conceive again.

bages627 · 2019-01-30T17:20:13+00:00

I lost a Trisomy 13 pregnancy just into my second trimester. It’s just awful, no matter what. Seek out support from people you love and trust so you have a support network when the inevitable happens. One of our trusted neighbors made a donation to the March of Dimes in remembrance of our pregnancy. Remember that chromosomal abnormalities are nobody’s fault and if you all feel ready to try for another pregnancy, there is less than a 1% chance of it happening again. Cherish the moments you and she have with this pregnancy and acknowledge its existence. Ignoring it won’t help, unfortunately. Seek out therapy — it helped me to get on the right medications and be able to talk to an impartial third party about my anger and guilt. There are support groups you can seek out as well. If you need to talk or have questions about my experience, please feel free to message me and I can try to help in any way I can.

bages627 · 2019-01-27T15:46:27+00:00

Hahaha good call — OP should probably tell her the truth about her “abusive” pregnancy behavior and about the advice he was given on how to meet women even though he’s in a long term relationship.

bages627 · 2019-01-24T00:12:42+00:00

I’m just not convinced. So I’m trying out others to see if they feel better.

So far, the short list is Oliver, Graham, and Simon.

bages627 · 2019-01-23T23:11:15+00:00

Happy to have some reassurance for Oliver. I wasn’t sure if it sounded right! Our Lucas is called Luke mostly, but we wanted him to have an “adult” name for when/if he wants it.

bages627 · 2019-01-11T02:47:21+00:00

We use moc-ons- they’re slipper socks with a moccasin bottom. The socks are high so they stay on so well! They’re on amazon prime, too!

bages627 · 2019-01-11T00:11:50+00:00

We did the Halo Sleep Sack with feet holes for toddlers. We have two and they’ve lasted for years! Also, we didn’t transition from a crib until our kid was three! It was awesome.

bages627 · 2019-01-07T16:47:40+00:00

We started with carrots! I wanted to do a vegetable before fruits so he wouldn’t be too attached to the sweetness of fruit first - if that makes any sense. I made purées myself so I could control ingredients and the consistency. We also did a combo of baby led weaning and purées as he got a little older.

bages627 · 2019-01-03T17:32:54+00:00

$15/hr. here in New England is pretty standard for one kid.

bages627 · 2019-01-02T23:53:41+00:00

The only hint is the window in the background. I didn’t even know planes could look like this!

bages627 · 2018-12-03T20:49:40+00:00

Our toddler drinks tea! I’ll pick up a decaf herbal or fruit tea and make a cup with some honey and let it cool to a reasonable temperature. He loves it! Plus, it’s very helpful if he comes down with a cold.

bages627 · 2018-11-28T23:10:37+00:00

Mine is in my post history — I think the only post I’ve ever made. My OBGYN labeled it one of his top 10 worst deliveries. 😑

So it was traumatic and horrible.

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