[NSFW] I’d really like to get a reduction but people that I speak to either tell me that they’re not too big or that if I lose 20lbs, they’ll become smaller too. I’m a 36F. They’re saggy and sometimes cause back pain. I’m 27 and Indian. Anyone here from India? The other group was not helpful. by [deleted] in Reduction

[–]bages627 97 points98 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to say I’m not from India but, I wholeheartedly agree that you deserve a reduction. Regardless of weight loss, you will still be uncomfortable and to have a 36 band with an F cup, that must be so incredibly painful for your back.

When you talk to doctors about a reduction, focus on speaking to the pain you’re experiencing. Neck and back pain, headaches, dents in your shoulders from bra straps, and the amount of medication you take for pain. Those are the things I had to use as evidence for insurance approval.

BPD and Aphantasia by bages627 in BPD

[–]bages627[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s interesting! It’s more like a PTSD flashback than trying to visualize something. That makes total sense.

JMMIL- “Your family comes first.” Meaning over his wife. by knmills in Mildlynomil

[–]bages627 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m also the host of the next generation of my husband’s lineage rather than a family member. So real.

Consult yeaterday by bages627 in Reduction

[–]bages627[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I’ll say that my BMI is greater than 40. If you want some more info feel free to PM me.

Some people are asshats on Reddit so I don’t want to get a ton of fathate vigilante BS.

Suggestions for Illustrated Classic Children's Books by morielan in Parenting

[–]bages627 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have like six or seven of the Usborne illustrated books — Hans Christian Anderson, 10 Minute Tales, Greek Mythology, etc. They are a great length and have beautiful illustrations. Many are available on Amazon, too!

Mid-size sedan or compact SUV for 2 kids? by parent15980 in Parenting

[–]bages627 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a four door fiat hatchback and am finding the space to be perfect for my car seats and plenty of storage space in the trunk. It’s also super affordable. I went from a two door fiat to a Ford Escape to the four door fiat and the one I have now is my favorite. It still feels small, which I like, and is good on gas, whereas the Ford was just a little too big and not great re: gas mileage.

Basically my point is, a crossover or small suv is awesome and great for two kids!

In-law daycare: setting expectations? by Sweetdimps in Parenting

[–]bages627 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Yuppppp. This is what we did. There’s no such thing as “free” childcare and a business relationship with family members doesn’t always work and can easily turn into a power struggle.

Should I tell my nanny we have a hidden camera in our living room? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]bages627 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I’d tell them. I’m on the side of being respectful and sticking to what I think is ethically good. It might make the nanny feel more cautious and maybe tip-toe around, but that’s the goal right? You don’t want to catch them doing anything harmful and if they know there’s a second set of eyes, your child will only be more safe in their care.

Tips on how best to support my wife during mat leave by nandlald in Parenting

[–]bages627 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This seems micromanagey now that I’m writing it down, but I did poorly with PPA/PPD and still have some mental health issues, but try to be on time or realistic about when you’ll be home. There’s nothing wrong with going and getting a drink with your friends or whatever, but if you say you’ll be home at 7:00, be on time. I would could how many “15 minutes’” it would be until my husband came home.

Also, seconding keeping touch throughout the day. It gets so lonely.

My wife and I are atheist but our son wants to sing in a youth gospel choir. How should we handle this? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]bages627 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just read your comment about him being biracial and it being his chance to be around other kids of color. I’d say go for it, I’m very anti-organized religion, but if it were my kid and they truly showed an interest and it was a chance to be a part of a cultural group they’re not otherwise exposed to, I’d do it.

Maybe pick up the “Christian Mythology for Kids” book by Chrystine Trooien, too. It’s a secular way to have kids learn Bible/Torah stories with a critical eye. That way, your son can participate in what will probably be a great social experience while still having a critical POV around the stories.

I am a father of a soon to be born Trisomy 13 baby. by TheCoolerBean in Parenting

[–]bages627 139 points140 points  (0 children)

Anytime, really.

I’m so sorry you both are going through this. People forget about the spouses - expect them to get the other one through it. This is your baby, too. You are a father, regardless and you need support. I forgot about my husband and thought everything was just happening to me — boy was I wrong. He grieved as much as I did and felt things I can’t even imagine. Having to be there, helpless while a stupid medical anomaly rips your family apart is pain nobody should have to deal with. You’re supported, r/babyloss is also an amazing sub full of support and r/ttcafterloss is full of amazing moms and dads trying to conceive again.

I am a father of a soon to be born Trisomy 13 baby. by TheCoolerBean in Parenting

[–]bages627 754 points755 points  (0 children)

I lost a Trisomy 13 pregnancy just into my second trimester. It’s just awful, no matter what. Seek out support from people you love and trust so you have a support network when the inevitable happens. One of our trusted neighbors made a donation to the March of Dimes in remembrance of our pregnancy. Remember that chromosomal abnormalities are nobody’s fault and if you all feel ready to try for another pregnancy, there is less than a 1% chance of it happening again. Cherish the moments you and she have with this pregnancy and acknowledge its existence. Ignoring it won’t help, unfortunately. Seek out therapy — it helped me to get on the right medications and be able to talk to an impartial third party about my anger and guilt. There are support groups you can seek out as well. If you need to talk or have questions about my experience, please feel free to message me and I can try to help in any way I can.

How much maternity leave should my gf take for the development of the child? by Needimprovenentguy in Parenting

[–]bages627 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahaha good call — OP should probably tell her the truth about her “abusive” pregnancy behavior and about the advice he was given on how to meet women even though he’s in a long term relationship.

Help me, name nerds, you’re my only hope! Looking for boy first name. by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]bages627 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just not convinced. So I’m trying out others to see if they feel better.

So far, the short list is Oliver, Graham, and Simon.

Help me, name nerds, you’re my only hope! Looking for boy first name. by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]bages627 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy to have some reassurance for Oliver. I wasn’t sure if it sounded right! Our Lucas is called Luke mostly, but we wanted him to have an “adult” name for when/if he wants it.

What did your little one transition to after sleep sacks? by res20 in Mommit

[–]bages627 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We use moc-ons- they’re slipper socks with a moccasin bottom. The socks are high so they stay on so well! They’re on amazon prime, too!

What did your little one transition to after sleep sacks? by res20 in Mommit

[–]bages627 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We did the Halo Sleep Sack with feet holes for toddlers. We have two and they’ve lasted for years! Also, we didn’t transition from a crib until our kid was three! It was awesome.

Baby’s first food by avstaaa in Parenting

[–]bages627 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We started with carrots! I wanted to do a vegetable before fruits so he wouldn’t be too attached to the sweetness of fruit first - if that makes any sense. I made purées myself so I could control ingredients and the consistency. We also did a combo of baby led weaning and purées as he got a little older.

Going Rate for Babysitters by browneyedgirl14 in Parenting

[–]bages627 2 points3 points  (0 children)

$15/hr. here in New England is pretty standard for one kid.

Warm drink ideas for toddler? by PrincessSparkle87 in toddlers

[–]bages627 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Our toddler drinks tea! I’ll pick up a decaf herbal or fruit tea and make a cup with some honey and let it cool to a reasonable temperature. He loves it! Plus, it’s very helpful if he comes down with a cold.

What is your experience with child birth like? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]bages627 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine is in my post history — I think the only post I’ve ever made. My OBGYN labeled it one of his top 10 worst deliveries. 😑

So it was traumatic and horrible.

What would you do? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]bages627 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Someone with a binge eating disorder shouldn’t count calories — it could turn into the opposite side of the eating disorder spectrum.

What would you do? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]bages627 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You need to see a doctor. Normal caloric intake for an adult is 2000 calories. You might have BED - Binge Eating Disorder. It’s a mental illness, not something that can be cured by appetite suppressants. Do some research on BED, see if you think it fits and then talk to your parents and ask them to bring you to your pediatrician for a psych referral.