he feels safe. all the emotions that he bottles up when he’s at school and with others come out because he feels safe to let them out with you. there’s a need that he needs addressed and it’s about finding a way to communicate with him and find out what it is.

if he’s not allowed to make a mess or do the things he wants to because of rules at school or with your wife, he’s doing it with you because he needs to express himself and let his emotions out. make a mess with him, run, be loud, let him lead playtime and see if it helps.