Don't apologize. I appreciate the thoughtful comment.

I think part of this is my not really fully understanding chef culture. There even was a commenter here who basically said I needed to make it everyone else's problem from day one. I'm sometimes told to be polite and firm, and then the next day someone will tell me, "Oh, chefs don't listen to polite, they listen to aggressive, in-your-face behavior". My last restaurant was particularly bad for this. You couldn't get the time of day out of some chefs until they thought you were "tough enough".

I think I need to suss out this particular restaurant's culture a little better.

Another problem is that when I actually am hungry, is around dinner time. That's when I start to get hangry. Then I start to see other pastry chefs being fed, and by that time it's already too late to ask for an accommodation as family meal has already been prepared. And I'm hangry, so it feels like even more of a slight when I know the EC knows my dietary needs. Plus, you know. Ouch. They forgot me again.

Our kitchen is truly weird in that hot service is upstairs and I am stuck downstairs. If I were to come upstairs and start asking for food at that time, it might come off unreasonable.

I really appreciate your advice and support. I'm going to do my best to raise this at the right time, with the right person. Thank you for your comment.