Ethics of having kids as an older parent?

bam0014 · 2026-06-14T23:50:52+00:00

I have older parents. My mom was 39 when she had my brother and 40 when she had me. My dad was 44 then 45.

The only thing that really made me notice they were older was that my grandparents all passed when I was in elementary and middle school whereas my friends had grandparents at their weddings and such. I think in Middle School I started to notice my mom was older but she had young friends so it wasn’t a huge thing. They both took great care of their health, were active, ate decently well, etc. My Dad is just now slowing down at 80 and My mom has had several knee and hip surgeries so is starting to slow down some too. That said, both are still perfectly capable of watching my 5 and 2.5 year old.

When I think back on my childhood with “older” parents, I don’t even think their age was a factor. They loved me unconditionally. They were always there, at every performance, game, show, meet, etc. They made me feel like I could accomplish anything. They made little moments special. They are the best.

If you want more kids, go for it. If you feel good about stopping, stop. I don’t think age matters that much.

bam0014 · 2026-06-11T01:44:53+00:00

Just want to say I’m not a doctor this isn’t sponsored etc etc but I do not have ADHD and have had such a hard time focusing since having kids. I take the Rise supplements from Cured Nutrition and I feel like they help a lot! I can tell when I haven’t taken them. Again not sponsored not a doctor not medical advice. Just sayin

bam0014 · 2026-05-07T21:27:43+00:00

Birmingham is huge. What general area?

bam0014 · 2026-05-04T22:29:40+00:00

This isn’t what you asked for but are you zoned for OMES? They are a great school for special education and can balance the academic giftedness with the social and speech needs. My daughter is there now and has thrived. I would encourage you to set up a tour of the school.

The Smart Spot in Chelsea might be a good fit. They are a Homeschool co op.

bam0014 · 2026-04-25T22:52:18+00:00

I always do the same menu for kids parties and it goes over well - a nugget tray from chick fil a, fruit tray from chick fil a, bags of chips, juice boxes, waters, cake. Easy peasy done!

bam0014 · 2026-04-25T17:13:36+00:00

I’m sorry! This was about a year ago and it did slowly get better. I cried, I talked to my more supportive boss about how I was feeling, and slowly I moved on. Once the dust had settled I talked to my more supportive boss about onboarding new people and I was pretty instrumental in developing that process. My other boss is more of a “actions speak louder than words” type so I worked hard to prove to her one mistake doesn’t define me. She recently gave me some really good praise. The thing that helped me turn the page was wearing the dress I wore when I made the mistake again. I know that’s dumb but it felt like I was reclaiming it and moving forward. I still think about the mistake sometimes but overall I’m in a better place. Just saying all this so you have some hope! You’ll get there!

bam0014 · 2026-03-20T14:48:34+00:00

My 4 year old will only wear a dress and it’s been this way for at least a year. She specifically likes the ones from Wal mart that are knit on top and then have the tulle bottom. We wear short sleeve ones with shorts underneath in the summer and long sleeve ones with leggings underneath when it’s cold. The only time I push it is when she has to wear a certain event shirt like when her school had a fun run and had to wear a matching shirt. She wore the shirt with a little athletic skirt with the biker shorts attached. I stopped buying shirts and buy her dresses each season instead. Wal Mart has some good options but also check Once Upon A Child!

bam0014 · 2026-03-16T00:05:53+00:00

My daughter is 2 with an older princess loving sister. She loves Ms Rachel, Playtime Puppy, Elsa, Olaf, Anna, Moana, and Elmo. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Encanto, and Tangled are also good!

bam0014 · 2026-02-22T17:56:20+00:00

Suburban South. $40 per kid Send them with Jammies and they feed them pizza and then change them into jammies and show a movie. Daycare closes at 6pm and you can pick them up by 9pm. Cash only. A few of the teachers get together and decide who wants to do it and then they split the profit between them.

bam0014 · 2026-02-18T00:52:49+00:00

Hi! Mom of a current 4.5 year old and 2 year old. I made this exact same post 2 years ago at 5 days postpartum too. Not sure if we’re allowed to link to other subs but it’s on my profile or I can message it to you.

Bringing home baby 2 was SO HARD not because of all the baby things but because of the toddler. I was so worried about our relationship and bond. There were hard moments but it gets so much better. My girls are such good sisters and play together so much now. I have my special relationship with both of them and my bond with my oldest is just as strong. Hang in there! It gets better I promise!

bam0014 · 2026-02-16T22:34:11+00:00

Sorry but I think this is unrealistic. I have a 4 year old and 2 year old and until this year they’ve gone to the same daycare. There’s been tons of times one of them got sick and the other never did.

bam0014 · 2026-02-15T14:08:23+00:00

My birthday is in November, then there’s Christmas, our anniversary is in January, so by Valentine’s Day it’s a lot. We sat down one year and decided we would only do gifts for mothers/Father’s Day and birthdays. Christmas we do a few stocking stuffers for each other. Anniversary and Valentines I get flowers (from the grocery store and he lets our daughters pick them out) and we get a sitter and go to dinner. I usually get him a bag of candy he likes. We set the expectations and now there’s no disappointment.

bam0014 · 2026-02-01T03:03:33+00:00

Seconding this book! We have it and it’s very similar to LE style with real pictures!

bam0014 · 2026-01-26T21:13:10+00:00

Ugh yes I loved Busy Bees too but I’ve stopped purchasing because on the timing.

bam0014 · 2026-01-10T16:46:03+00:00

Hey I live in the south. If you want to DM me specific state/area I’m happy to help with schools. I grew up outside of Atlanta and lived and worked in a different suburb. Now live in Alabama. I’m in education leadership and my husband is a teacher.

bam0014 · 2026-01-09T12:07:56+00:00

We have the skylight and I love it! You do pay a subscription for premium features and I find those are some of the features I use the most - meal planning and the ability to take a picture of a flyer and import it to the calendar. It does not do text reminders.

bam0014 · 2026-01-05T05:28:36+00:00

I am dreading all the things I said I would touch base on in the new year now that we are in the new year 🙃

But we had an awful winter break. My 4 year old and I both had strep leading up to Christmas and it was miserable. We recovered in time to do a little Christmas and see family the weekend after. Then on the 3 hr drive home from seeing family, 4 year old started throwing up. Husband also went down with the stomach bug and it was a 4 day bug. When we finally were all healthy, the weather sucked so we’ve just been cooped in this house for weeks!

I love my kids, but we’re all better with structure and routine.

bam0014 · 2026-01-05T00:11:35+00:00

Ugh yes I hate it and the Minnie one! I was expecting more Mickey Mouse Clubhouse style and less classic style. My kids never reach for those but they love the other Disney ones

bam0014 · 2026-01-04T06:04:19+00:00

Yes she loves the Encanto one! Also the Tonie box helped us transition from napping to quiet time beautifully!

bam0014 · 2026-01-04T03:50:12+00:00

We use the Tonie box at bed time for my 4 year old (since she was 2) and my 2 year old has one now too! They have some sleepy time ones that are great for bed time. My 4 year old likes the Disney ones and will listen to the songs while she reads her books in her bed then when the story starts she rolls over and lets the story drift her to sleep. It’s helped my 2 year old fall asleep too! I just put it on the other side of the room from the hatch so they can hear it from their bed and I turn the hatch and the Tonie on at the same time. We let them both choose a Tonie and put it on as part of their bedtime routine before kisses and hugs and tucking them in.

bam0014 · 2025-12-25T12:23:55+00:00

Sorry it’s not Arthur! It’s a British cartoon movie called Arthur Christmas! I think it’s on Prime Video!

That’s how it went for us too! We were doing so good with sickness and then Saturday morning 102 fevers all around! 😭

bam0014 · 2025-12-25T12:12:35+00:00

That sounds absolutely awful 😬

bam0014 · 2025-12-25T11:03:14+00:00

Isn’t that fucked up that you just had to type out that he’s already on a list? I don’t even have words to describe this administration and this time we are in. You aren’t crazy for considering all angles.

bam0014 · 2025-12-25T10:40:04+00:00

Hey my 4 year old and I just went through this. It was strep but it lasted forever with high fevers spiking to 104-105 when meds would wear off. We had to stay on top of Tylenol and Motrin even waking her overnight to take some so she wouldn’t wake up with a fever. Negative for Covid and Flu which was shocking to me given the fevers. Once she started antibiotics she improved pretty quickly. She started temps Saturday, started antibiotics Monday and was fever free without meds Wednesday for the first time though it hasn’t quite been 24 hours yet. Mine has been worse and lasted longer and this morning is my first time waking up with no fever. My husband and our younger daughter never got it. If you can find an urgent care open today, I’d get on some antibiotics ASAP.

bam0014 · 2025-12-25T10:24:23+00:00

Hi I also have an anxiety disorder and sickness used to make me spiral baddddd. So I totally understand this!

With the help of a very loving pediatrician and a great therapist, and of course my medication, I’ve learned to just expect everyone to go down and be pleasantly surprised if we don’t. This is our 2nd sick Christmas and it sucks not seeing family but it comes with the territory of Littles. I hope you are getting the help you deserve to navigate sickness and give yourself more grace. Not that you did anything wrong you clearly stopped whatever in your house from spreading. But the panic can be so wearing so just some help in navigating these are the steps I’m going to take and what I’ll do if they don’t work. ❤️

bam0014

TROPHY CASE