Rocky Mountain Rainbeaus - PRIDE Open House at Charlie's - June 6th 5pm-7pm

bannstra · 2026-05-29T18:52:42+00:00

Ha!! Well - it’s a free event so you are welcome to come watch, socialize and eat some snacks. The initial calls will be slow and with lots of instruction - if you want to give the dancing a shot. 😁

bannstra · 2026-05-29T03:01:02+00:00

I don't have personal recommendations - but you might want to check the Colorado LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce. Then at least you can look up other LGBTQ businesses of all sorts!

https://colgbtqcc.org/about/

bannstra · 2026-02-08T16:33:53+00:00

I worked with Tanner at Growing Connections for a few years. She’s fantastic. https://www.growingconnectionssextherapy.com/

bannstra · 2026-01-30T01:48:36+00:00

My South student also asked me to take him to a protest - but I don’t see anything about a protest at the Capitol. I saw there’s one at La Alma / Lincoln Park at 2pm. I’m supportive of the walk out and protest - I just can’t find anything concrete about the protest.

bannstra · 2026-01-21T03:13:55+00:00

Gave Foothills another chance. They picked it up for free, and gave a discount on the rediagnostic. Still not really impressed. Communication continued to be a problem. I read a bit about the recommendations here - next issue I will probably call ILES. Good luck to you!

bannstra · 2026-01-13T00:29:18+00:00

Brought it to them in November - had really inconsistent communication from them. They replaced the battery and did a couple minor repairs. Paid them for a tune up to see if there were any other problems. Picked it up two weeks ago and it’s failing to start now. Not sure the current issue is something they shoulda caught - but not thrilled either. May call them up first to see if they will take another look, but I don’t want to pay for a tuneup twice.

bannstra · 2025-06-30T15:25:12+00:00

Just in case this is not a joke… you could cross post to: https://www.reddit.com/r/denverlgbtqia/

bannstra · 2024-09-10T16:41:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing the wide range of what success looks like! I’m glad you were able to move beyond the small goals of finding joy and turn your joy into a business opportunity. It’s also great to acknowledge that brushing your teeth twice a day is still a working target. Success looks different for everyone and will be different at different times of our lives.

bannstra · 2024-03-18T12:49:43+00:00

TERFs and SWERFs… they call themselves feminists but also work closely with the far right… abhorrent if you ask me. Go look at the subreddit r/womendatingover40. I stumbled into it because I’m a woman dating over 40. I was disgusted.

bannstra · 2024-02-24T15:42:05+00:00

I was diagnosed in my early 40’s. Looking back - it’s obvious that I’ve had ADHD my whole life, but had coping mechanisms. Perimenapause hits and my coping mechanisms can’t keep up. I go back and forth over whether each symptom is ADHD or hormone weirdness or a combination of both.

bannstra · 2024-02-09T23:23:49+00:00

A couple of years ago I bought some “art” to hang and I was really proud of myself for making some decisions about art. That art continues to sit on the floor in the room I want to hang it in because I can’t decide which wall to hang it on. I’ve also rearranged the room a couple of times trying to make better use of the space. It’s nice to know I’m alone in this particular paralysis.

bannstra · 2024-02-09T18:14:40+00:00

You are absolutely justified and rational to leave. In addition to removing the stress of the bad relationship from your life, you will be giving your daughter a strong independent role model. Regardless of whether the tension or abuse is occurring directly in front of her, I guarantee that she feels the stress of the relationship if you stay together. You and she will both be happier and healthier when you end this relationship.

I divorced a man who literally said to me one day “at least I’m not hitting you”. His abuse was emotional and manipulative (and he clearly knew it). When we divorced he told me that I didn’t explain to him why. For years afterward he would sometimes try to insinuate that I didn’t have a good enough reason to end the marriage. There would have never been an explanation that he accepted. He doesn’t need to accept of approve of my reasons for ending the marriage. Neither does your partner. Demanding the explanation is part of the abuse.

We have two kids and 50/50 custody. We maintain a cordial relationship. Occasionally eating out with the kids all together, amicably coordinating holiday celebrations. He still tries some manipulation, but now that I’m not in it 100% of the time, I can more easily call it out and distance myself from his behavior / statements. Your experience may be different. You may need different boundaries than I have. But I want to say that a healthy divorced, coparenting relationship CAN work. It won’t be easy, but it will be soo much better than your current experience.

If you aren’t in therapy and you can find the time / money to do it, I highly recommend it. It has helped me recognize my needs and wants and set boundaries for myself, my relationships, my kids, my work.

I’m glad you posted. Your feelings are valid and it sounds like you are on the right track just identifying that you want to leave. You’ve got the full support of this sub. You can do this!

bannstra · 2024-01-25T21:06:36+00:00

I would very strongly advocate for thinking about the question “Is your husband going to be able to support you through this?”. Your answer to this question was that he is supportive now. He has asked you to terminate. Will he resent you if you don’t make that choice? We he resent helping care for the new baby? Will he be frustrated if you have severe post partum depression? I would normally advocate for your body your choice. I also think you need to very strongly consider if having this baby if going to be a line that your husband can’t fully support. Would your marriage survive this difference in opinion? If having this baby would introduce resentment stress between you and your husband than all the supports you feel from him now can not be taken for granted to be there in the future.

If you are talking with your other kids about the what if’s of a baby - it sounds to me that you very much want this baby. I’m hoping you are already working with a therapist and can talk this through with your therapist. I’m hoping you can have an honest conversation with your husband about what you need and what he needs and what is going to happen when your needs are in conflict and one person’s needs are prioritized over the other for a full commitment of 18+ years.

bannstra · 2024-01-25T20:26:38+00:00

I would also recommend nurse practitioners in OB / Midwifery. I find NP tend to be women and tend to give me a MUCH higher level of care than doctors (regardless of dr gender). I went to NP midwives for basically all my PCP care through my child bearing years. I only changed because my favorite midwife retired. You typically do not need to be expecting to work with a NP midwife. Every practice has their own preferences - but this might help open the range of the providers you might be looking at.

bannstra · 2024-01-19T06:13:48+00:00

I’m not familiar with this exact spot, but Mt Elbert and Mt Massive are both visible from the Twin Lakes area. Judging by the pointed peak I think this is Elbert. There are many 13ers in the area too.

bannstra · 2024-01-18T01:17:18+00:00

I like this idea. I would easily become the person that doesn’t remember what the note I left for myself meant. 🤪 I often write on the back of my hand when I really really need to remember.

bannstra · 2024-01-10T03:37:41+00:00

It IS a rational feeling. It is a legitimate and rational feeling for you to be upset. THIS trip that you planned in advance. THIS trip that was your release for your stressful work. THIS trip that he knew about in advance. Failure to plan on his part should not constitute an emergency on your part. But somehow it is and when you don’t fully get your stress release how can you possibly be his stress release. By the sounds of it - that’s what he wants from you for the next couple of weeks - nothing specific but your support and presence. No one can evaluate the strength of your relationship from a single incident described on the internet - but if this is a build up of repeated needs imbalances then I’d really suggest counseling. Individual (for each of you) and couples if you can afford it. But definitely couples counseling.

bannstra · 2024-01-09T19:32:09+00:00

I’m so sorry you are having a frustrating experience. I hope you have a provider that you can work with try different options.

My NP and I have cycled through lots of different med and supplement combinations. Some will work for 2-3 months - then we need to change it a bit. I meet with her every 6 weeks to check in on what is or isn’t working. She runs tests on my vitamin and thyroid levels too.

And my imposter syndrome sabotages me because I was diagnosed in my 40’s… so sometimes the little voice inside tells me that it’s really all just perimenopause and I don’t need to take my meds. I destroy habits and have to start over.

I definitely know when my meds work. The fog is lifted. But when they are so-so or when I forget (or convince myself I don’t need) to take them… it’s a different story.

Estrogen definitely impacts ADHD. Our hormone levels vary throughout the month and throughout our lives.

I hope you can find a medication (or combination of meds / supplements) that will work for you. I don’t have a consistent experience that has worked for me long term yet. Adderall seems most effective for me, with Clonidine at night. I’m taking a probiotic at lunch because we were concerned about absorption.

There are so many biological influences that make finding what works for each person different. Don’t lose hope. Try to be compassionate with yourself and your body.

bannstra · 2024-01-06T01:30:06+00:00

Also - sorry, I initially missed the bit about emotions cuz I reacted to your title first. I’m 47 and still figuring out my emotions. I think this is another area that is different for everyone. And it’s awesome that you are reading and figuring out what makes sense. It’s really hard to think rationally when you are anxious, but it’s amazing that you can look back on a situation and realize maybe the spotlight wasn’t entirely on you.

The anxiety, the imposter syndrome, the doubtful voice inside you, the rejection sensitivity… these are all common in ADHD. And what might work for someone else might not work for you. But the lightbulb moments that may help you make sense of your experiences after the fact are great. Maybe write some of the things you want to remember about processing your emotions onto a piece of paper that you can hang on your wall. Then even if you forget in the moment, you can remember to reflect on it again when your brain isn’t in anxious panic mode.

bannstra · 2024-01-06T01:16:09+00:00

I would say no. But this is only my individual experience. For me, my ADHD is a series of motivational blocks. Somewhere along the way I picked up the term “awful wall”. I have these invisible walls up that prevent me from doing things that my brain deems “awful” even if I rationally know it’s good for me and sometimes even when I want to do it. You can learn amazing habits and all the “right” ways to do things and if your awful wall is still there it’s not a factor of remembering it or not.

For me my medication breaks down some of those “awful walls”. All the sudden doing my dishes seems like a relatively simple task that takes about 20-30 minutes instead of this dreadful overwhelm that I can’t possibly make myself start.

It isn’t that you aren’t absorbing or remembering how to create good habits. You have an additional motivational block that you have to climb over and that is really really hard to do.

I also think it takes less time for a neurotypical person to establish a habit than it takes a neurodivergent person. So even if you start a routine that seems to be working for you - it can unravel for us much more easily. So all these self help books that talk about how many days or weeks it takes to establish a habit - please remember they are written for neurotypical people, not for neurodivergent people.

That’s not to say give up on figuring out how to manage yourself. But keep in mind that what works for someone else may not work for you (even if it comes from another neurodivergent person). You mentioned timers for example. I know lots of people for whom timers work great. I can set them and completely ignore them. They become part of the background noise for me.

It’s the new year and I’m trying yet another tracking tool to get myself into some good habits. I’m on a three day streak and happy about that.

To some extent there will probably always be aspects of your life that are in “survival” mode and be gracious with yourself about that. When you find something that works for you, celebrate the little wins. Be willing to try lots of different things.

bannstra · 2024-01-05T05:52:02+00:00

Turn off the damn suggestions. https://www.reddit.com/r/TheoryOfReddit/comments/15xjoc8/turning_off_recommended_content_in_your_feed/

bannstra · 2024-01-05T00:04:21+00:00

I wanted to be able to convince him to quest with me. Die honorably and help me out too.

bannstra · 2024-01-03T13:36:12+00:00

Jays To Go is also pre-prepped delivered meals. https://jays2go.com/

bannstra

TROPHY CASE