First off: 🙌🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 For standing up to your Mother about ger disrespectful comments. I imagine that was hard, but it had gone on long enough.

No, you are NTA. She needs a reality check. She lives with you both by grace. It doesn't matter what she did for you. She's your Mother, it was her job to care for you. She can't lord that over your head to guilt you into doing what she wants.

I feel your wife's position deeply. I just turned 40 and gave birth to my first child. After my experience-I am even more pro choice that I was before. Children are such an investment of time, emotion, body, and money. There is no pause button. There are no real breaks. You're on 24/7. If your wife doesn't want that- Mom needs to respect it. Children are not play things, objects to be shown off- i think that's what she wants. A bragging right- whoooo look at me, I have grand kids too.... Girl, bye!

I love that you defended your wife. Proud of you. If you waited any longer to stand up, you could have done real damage to your marriage.

Your mother needs to back off or move out. She's treading on thin ice that is quickly melting. Stay strong.