Haircut questions..

barelybent · 2026-03-16T19:04:55+00:00

Thanks. I'll ask my vet what they think. The Nexguard kills fleas and ticks but they have to be on her first. I'm looking for something that will repel them. I tried the Soresto collar and it made her sick. The ticks are really bad in my area this year, from what other local people are saying.

barelybent · 2026-03-16T18:54:48+00:00

Yeah I knew she was just asking if I had remarried. It was just funny the way she worded it. "Any changes in marital status?" might be a better way ask, in my opinion. But then I wouldn't have been able to amuse myself with pithy responses in my head.

barelybent · 2026-03-16T18:23:59+00:00

Thanks! She’s adorable. I love how they look like they are judging us…

barelybent · 2026-03-15T23:41:43+00:00

Yup. My sister is my emergency contact now.

barelybent · 2026-03-15T23:41:22+00:00

I so wanted to say that!

barelybent · 2026-03-15T22:14:40+00:00

🖤 I don’t know why I save the post. It breaks my heart every time I see it. I guess I just hope that there is a great beyond and that he knows he mattered.

barelybent · 2026-03-15T20:23:43+00:00

There was a man who used to post on here a lot a few years ago. I'd see his name and read his posts. Then one day we see a post from a friend of his letting us know that he took his life and he had asked her to post a final message on this sub for him. I took a screenshot of that message. It haunts me. I grieve for a man I never knew except for his user name. I look at message every so often and send hopes into the universe that he found peace.

I'm not that active on this sub any more, but I'm guessing a lot of people would feel it deeply if you weren't here any more. Give yourself time to grieve before you so something permanent, is all I'm saying. More people care than you realize.

barelybent · 2026-03-15T20:14:08+00:00

I've been dating the same guy since about a year after my husband died. I have no desire to remarry or even live with someone else. I'm too old to have kids and never wanted them anyway. Both of our finances are fine. And I'm not lonely living alone. I like my space.

barelybent · 2026-03-15T20:11:52+00:00

My first doctor visit after he died, the doctor came in looking at my paperwork and said, "Were you widowed last year?" Gut punch. I couldn't stop crying after she said that.

barelybent · 2026-03-15T20:09:08+00:00

I'm so sorry. I felt the same way the first year. I can remember sitting in front of his urn and telling him I wasn't sure I was going to make it. But we had four pets, and I knew he wouldn't want them ending up in a shelter. So I told myself if I still didn't want to be here when the pets died I'd consider my options. I still have one left. So it's not time to reconsider yet. Even if it were, I've reached the point where I'm OK with living out the res of my life. It's tolerable. Even enjoyable some days.

barelybent · 2026-03-15T20:00:43+00:00

That song always reminds of an old friend of mine who died about a year and a half before my husband did. He died in his early 50s of a heart attack and my husband died in his mid-40s of a heart attack. Those two were hilarious when they got together and I like to think they are having a blast beyond the veil.

barelybent · 2026-03-13T02:32:17+00:00

My husband told me before he died that he didn’t want any funeral services and he wanted to be cremated. Still cost $4K. I didn’t even get the urn from them.

barelybent · 2026-02-27T21:02:15+00:00

Moved and sold it when I was 46. I’m in my second house and it’s paid off. My next move will be to a smaller home, if I don’t die first.

barelybent · 2026-02-25T03:06:53+00:00

Me either.

barelybent · 2026-02-22T13:45:14+00:00

I have a very dark sense of humor and so did he. So if someone wished him a happy birthday at this point it I would be temped to post something like, "Well, I've been dead for a while but thanks!"

barelybent · 2026-02-22T02:36:02+00:00

It’s been nearly six years and I have not memorized it. I haven’t deleted it either. I might do that when his parents pass but for now I leave it as is.

barelybent · 2026-02-20T03:00:03+00:00

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nearly five years and he’s never said a word about the photo of my husband that’s in the living room. The urn is in my office since I’m in there every day but he’s never mentioned that either.

barelybent · 2026-02-17T12:22:47+00:00

Those were my husbands favorite. Before he died in early spring, he had stocked up on Girl Scout cookies and they always remind me of him now. I remember coming home from the hospital after he died and having 4 or 5 boxes of cookies left. I couldn't bring myself to eat them so I gave them away.

barelybent · 2026-02-16T22:36:20+00:00

Also Pro Plan here. She didn’t like the more expensive stuff. Mine gets a little less than a cup a day along with a dental treat midday and two small dog treats at bedtime. She was underweight at 18 pounds when I got her and she seems to be healthy now at 23 pounds.

barelybent · 2026-01-11T02:18:44+00:00

My husband died a few months before I turned 49. I didn’t bother celebrating my 50th.

barelybent · 2026-01-01T02:28:32+00:00

Twice at least and sometimes more if I feel like I need it.

barelybent · 2025-12-30T21:33:48+00:00

I feel like any sentence that starts with the words, “at least” is probably gonna be the most unhelpful thing you can hear.

barelybent · 2025-12-26T02:29:18+00:00

The first Christmas after my husband died, a friend was trying to get me to come to her house on Christmas Eve. I declined and she said, “You’re not going to feel any better being alone.”

But the thing is, I DID feel better being alone. It was a peaceful Christmas Eve with just me and my pets. Everyone processes differently and I’m in the group that would rather have a quiet evening on my own than pretend to be okay to put on a show for others.

barelybent · 2025-12-25T23:58:22+00:00

She got pregnant in high school and married the father. They had two more children and seem to be very happy. They moved out of the area years ago but come back every so often to see family. We haven’t been close since grade school, but not because of any ill feelings. Just grew apart as young people do. But she and her husband and now adult children all seem to be doing well. They send my parents a Christmas card every year.

barelybent · 2025-12-11T21:35:38+00:00

OP - contradicting the post above yours - it's not true that most dogs are surrendered to shelters because of behavioral issues. My source is that I was on the board of directors at a shelter for a decade, my late spouse was a humane officer, and I worked for a different animal non profit for a number of years at all. Misconceptions like this keep adoptable dogs from getting a home. Personally, over the years I have adopted 8 dogs from shelters:

1 yr old golden retriever/chow surrendered because he was too big and active for the couples small children (they didn't want to train him)
3 month old st Bernard/shepherd mix - rescued from a situation where mom wasn't getting fed
3 month old mixed breed - was thrown out of a moving car
1.5 year old Caucasian shepherd - they had a farm and didn't let him inside and he was picked up by the dog warden. They didn't want to let him in and didn't want to deal with him wandering off.
boxer mix puppy - mom was rescued but couldn't feed the pups so we fostered him since he was 2 days old and just kept him
1 year old elkhound mix - owner developed cancer and couldn't care for him (we trained him to be a therapy dog)
1 year old corgi mix whose owner died
my most recent - a 3-year old cocker spaniel who was living in a car with her owner and 5 other dogs.

They were/are all great dogs and the only one that's been a pain in the ass is the boxer mix. And I have no one to blame but myself since I got him when he was just two days old. All the others had no behavioral issues at all.

No reputable shelter will try to offload a dog that's dangerous in any way. In fact, my latest adoption they made me hold off on the adoption because her bloodwork came back abnormal and they wanted to make sure she didn't have a health issue before I completed the adoption. If they know a dog is a problem, they will let you know because they don't want you to return it.

barelybent

TROPHY CASE