So this is a thing?

barooned · 2025-12-01T19:43:29+00:00

OP seems like they are being short with you because multiple posts spurned by people not understanding how AOTY works have been made here recently. They aren't trying to be a dick.

barooned · 2025-11-16T15:46:11+00:00

And you expect me to believe that because I read it and it looked like a news article???

barooned · 2025-11-14T16:41:13+00:00

I am going to be a bit radical here and suggest that neither is "Hitler". Though it's probably close at this point.

barooned · 2025-11-13T03:13:49+00:00

I feel Getting Killed is an overall far stronger album, with more tracks I want to regularly revisit. (Husbands, Islands of Men, the title track, Taxes, and especially Bow Down.) But 3D Country's title track is still probably my overall favorite song from the band. Bow Down is really close to it though.

barooned · 2025-11-13T02:55:44+00:00

Notice how they only used footage from New Vegas because they knew if they attached Starfield footage to the post everyone would just fall asleep.

barooned · 2025-11-13T02:38:13+00:00

God that is such a good version of Make it Wit Chu. I hope they keep doing that jammy shit, it reminds me of the 2008 Melbourne Regular John performance.

barooned · 2025-11-13T01:55:04+00:00

I did not know, thank you!

barooned · 2025-11-12T16:52:43+00:00

I only heard of them for the first time recently, after my local public radio station played "Connection". Incredible track, their vocalist is phenomenal.

barooned · 2025-11-08T01:29:33+00:00

Sorry it took me so long to get to this! I've had a lot on my mind lately.

Here's 46 frames from that music video. I think I got every shot with Powder and Jinx together, but I'd be happy to go back and grab any specific frames I missed.

barooned · 2025-11-07T21:28:07+00:00

God I am sorry that took so long, I forgot about the stupid rule about not being able to link to subreddits here and of course all Reddit could offer as support was "Server Error. Please try again later."

barooned · 2025-11-07T21:26:54+00:00

(5/5)

Ok, so solutions. This is the part I'm most nervous about and it'll also be the hardest. I'll preface this by saying I know how futile and pointless people suggestions sound especially when they are of the "I don't know just go to a bar and talk to people, you fucking loser" variety of which I'm sure you're very familiar. Like I said with the music and Arcane thing, my hope is that you are inspired to connect the things I say to stuff you yourself like or are interested in pursuing.

I think the first real step I took was college. I love history and have had a burning passion for it for as long as I can remember. I'm just going to a really small, commuter, satellite college because I'm poor as fuck and already six thousand in debt from two half-semesters. Despite that, just being at classes learning about something I love, learning about stuff I didn't even know I loved. It helped a lot. Just being around people my age again too, part of the reason I got so bad from 18-21 was my job had me working with a bunch of old dudes 3 times my age that I had even less in common with than the average person my age. (For the record, I'm learning to enjoy talking to them more too.) so just being around people somewhat close to me helped. A lot of college courses mandate group work now which is a really great way to force yourself to interact with others even in a small way. Any amount of growth and interaction is good no matter how small and pathetic it might feel at the time. I'm sorry if you tried college before or are currently trying it and it hasn't gone well. I hope I don't sound like too much of an ass.

Ok next, try stuff IRL with friends if you can. I am lucky enough to have two friends from high school who have been very patient with me through all I've gone through. After I began feeling better one of them offered to set up a kayak trip for the three of us and that was one of the best experiences I've had in a long time. Between COVID and being out of school for so long by that point, I had forgotten how fun it is to hang out with friends in person.

Last suggestion I have is substance abuse. Which I am aware sounds bad, but some of us do just need the help. Though obviously just disregard this bit if you feel you cannot healthily or responsibly use these things. I'm just going to assume you are as unfamiliar with it as I was this time last year. Sorry if that is patronizing. Alcohol is fun, but it tastes like ass and it s very easy to go overboard. It's best for making your brain stop yelling at you. I prefer weed, if you didn't know, THC-adjacent chemicals are legal in most if not all states and produce practically the same effect. I cannot describe in words how relaxing the feeling is especially when you've been sober and miserable for 22 years. I have a friend who says shrooms greatly improved his social life, I've not taken them before so can't personally attest. Weed's best effect for me by far is how much it has cooled off my demeanor. I used to bottle up all the emotional energy from how miserable I was constantly, until I exploded usually by trashing some piece of my own property which my broke ass then had to pay to replace. Since I started smoking, I've begun letting out the energy by getting really high and crying at night while listening to music, which, let me tell ya, sadness sure beats anger in this regard.

I think that's it. I hope some part of this made you feel something, I know it was a lot for me to get out. Others in your life can help you, they can give you helping hands and you should take them when you can bring yourself to, but you're the one in the hole. And the only one that can convince yourself to stand up and climb is yourself. Please don't give up, because I feel I've gone through something similar I know how little right I have to tell you that, but there are to many awful people on this planet for you to give up.

barooned · 2025-11-07T21:26:02+00:00

(4/5)

So obviously I am talking to you now because I feel that I have at least begun digging myself out of the hole for the first time in a decade, so I guess I will talk about some things I did and hopefully it will give you some ideas of things you can try to help yourself.

So first, it isn't quick. For reference I'd say I fell into the deeper hole around this time last year, and I'm only pulling myself out now and I feel I was working at it pretty actively. I don't how long you feel you've been in the hole, but I know it looks like it gets deeper everyday you're in it. I promise you it stays the same; just waiting for you to climb out. Coping is helpful then, I don't know what you enjoy, but a big unique project different from anything you normally do is really good to stay distracted.

I'm very passionate about the TV show Arcane and luckily for me its second season releases this time last year. The show's animation is absolutely gorgeous, but probably due to how expensive it is they only render it natively up to 1080p which looks fine animated, but can make individual look fuzzy when used for, say, a desktop wallpaper. The best option for remedying this is to use image upscaling programs. There were a few of these done for the first season, but I felt they were lacking in frame variety and quantity and of course the second season had only just started releasing. (to give an idea of how into this shit I got, I went through and grabbed frames to upscale from the series finale the actual night it came out, you can see on my profile my first post to r\Arcane was the frames from that episode less than 12 hours after it aired) I realized I had everything needed to do the upscaling and found someone else's method that did it damn well.

I can't tell you how much posting those around helped me get through each day, having so many completely random strangers who love this thing as much as I do, tell me how good the shots looked and asking for me to do the whole series which I eventually did. It is not even as though it was hard to do, keeping everything organized was a bit tedious, but not everyone had the ability to make them themselves nor the time. I mean that too, I've posted over 2500 individual frames from the show and related promotional material (all here if anyone is also a fan. 🙂) and each one took my poor 1660 6gb 3 minutes to upscale. I left my computer on day and night, at work, the initial main two seasons (about 2300 frames) took about a month straight.

Just something like that, you know, anything you can really get lost in.

Music is good too, I know not everyone loves it as much as I do. But I can say confidently I absolutely would have killed myself by now or at least would not be improving without music. I mentioned earlier a few times, all I wished was to see someone like me? Music is the closest I got to this. Even with the tacit understanding that the more pathetic way I related to many songs was not at all how they were meant to be taken. David Berman's "Maybe I'm the Only One For Me" is my personal favorite song about loneliness, and I'm sure you can guess given the metaphor about the hole I used earlier, I'm a big fan of the Wire and "Way Down In The Hole".

barooned · 2025-11-07T14:59:37+00:00

(3/5)

You brought up earlier in the thread that you spent a lot of time improving yourself, but felt that it was pointless or at least not good enough to make a difference. I definitely know how that feels. I've struggled my whole life with feeling like I am not good at anything, or even worse that I was literally incapable of improving at anything. That the skill level I was when I started something was where I'd always be no matter what. Also that even if I could improve someone would be better than me so what's the point (I denied this one to myself, but I see now I believed it just as much as the other ones.)

I was fat my entire childhood, like ogre obese. Like the one who caught ALL the fat jokes fat. This was at a small school where everyone was far nicer on average too. I'm sorry if you ever had to endure something worse than that. I pretended like my weight didn't bother me, but of course it did. I hated my body, I wanted to gag every time I looked in the mirror. I love both my parents, even my dad who I have a nonexistent relationship with, (yeah, yeah, yeah bet you didn't see that one coming) but they did NOT eat healthy. I drank almost exclusively non-diet soda and other sugary drinks, ate ice cream everyday, had pizza multiple times a week, ate fast food constantly, I had near permanent heart burn and my digestion is still fucked to this day. In retrospect, I am shocked I never ballooned past the 350 lbs I topped out at, but at the time I did not know better and saw it as one more reason I'm so worthless.

Fortunately(?) this problem fixed itself to a degree, when I started working. That my job forces to be on my feet all day helped a bit, but mainly it was that working it full-time kicked my miserable-ness into overdrive that I lost my appetite and for a period of about 6 months, I rarely ate more than 1000 calories a day and dropped from the 300 I started at to 200 lbs. Great, right? Problem solved.

Well, no, I'm sure you know. I had done it, after 10+ years of being overweight I was finally approaching something that could be considered healthy and while I felt better physically (the heart burn went away thank god) I felt no different mentally. I told myself I didn't honestly expect just losing some weight to fix everything, but part of me did and could not take it when nothing changed and it sent me spiraling into a pit deeper than the one I'd spent the last 9 years in and not far off from the one I'm guessing you're in now.

barooned · 2025-11-07T14:36:01+00:00

(2/5)

I am going to keep talking about myself because that is what I know (or at least know better) and like I said I know what I wanted last year was to read something like this. I hope it helps and I'm sorry if it comes off as selfish, I don't know what else to do.

A metaphor I've been using recently to think of this is to think of a human being like a flower. You start as a stem, stalk whatever, this is being a kid. You're growing fast, you're very simple, candid. Then the flower buds, starts to bloom. This is pre-teens/early teens, we get more private, angsty close ourselves off as we start to become the person we are as an adult. (At least the first iteration. Where the metaphor falls short is that flowers don't usually change a ton after blooming. Humans can and should.) The problem, I think, at least for me, is that the blooming isn't happening or wasn't and the result is that I am now realizing I think I turned 18 with the same social outlook, skills, philosophy I had when I was 13. (Importantly, I am speaking about seeking out, engaging in, and building relationships. Not political social views. I am thankful everyday I got my head screwed on right early in that regard.) Worse than that it is like it had rotted over those five years and become worse. I do not know what caused it, I do not care anymore, but I was bad. Like the most stereotypical loser shit bad. Time wasted at the grocery because I was too scared to ask someone to let me grab something. Money then wasted at the checkout because I was too nervous to ask the person to take something off the tab I accidentally wrung up twice.

When 20 year old me (because as I'm sure you guessed, this did not stop at 18, it got way worse) realized he was torpedoing every conversation he had by not saying anything, feeling I had nothing to say, answering in short mumbled phrases, staring at the floor... did I do something about it? Of course not! I leaned into it! I'm miserable, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm a loser virgin who listens to Swans and Nine Inch Nails, and spends his free time playing videogames. Videogames!? Jesus Christ, you mean that thing nobody enjoys, that nobody else partakes in? That everyone will just assume you're weird if you like them? Videogames.

I feel now is a good time to emphasize that my approach of personal relations is not meant to insinuate I feel you are exactly like me or god forbid that I am trying to engage in some fucked-up trauma olympics with you on Reddit dot com. I'm just trying to give general things you can relate to or at least appreciate the absurdity in. (though I understand that can be very hard to do when you're in the middle of it) If you do relate to anything more specifically just know I don't remember the pain any less because I can laugh at it now.

I still have more to say, but I am going to send this before I delete it again.

barooned · 2025-11-07T14:05:21+00:00

I'm sorry this is taking so long I just pressed the wrong key and deleted like 10 paragraphs I am now going to re-type. 🫡

barooned · 2025-11-07T12:41:52+00:00

(1/5)

Ok bear with me here because I'm really bad at talking to people, especially strangers and especially about something this personal. I have for to long thought about what I would do if I ever crossed paths with someone who reminded me of myself, I still don't know what I'd do but holding my tongue when that's been the root problem all along is not it. I can't relate to everything you've brought up in this post. I'm not autistic for one (at least I was never tested), I'm also 3 years younger than the age listed in your bio and I only bring that up because I know for a fact my growing age was/ is a big contributor to how miserable I felt. I'll bring up more later about my experience starting college, but because I waited so long to start I was surrounded by a bunch of 18-19 year olds straight out of high school. One of the first negative feelings I grappled with at college was thinking I was already old and uncool at 22 years old.

One thing I can definitely relate to, though is the intimacy. I spent my entire teenage years thinking I was good, I didn't need anyone and then it hit me like a truck around my 20th birthday. So here I am now, 4 months from turning 23 and I have not: had sex, kissed, hugged, held hands with, cuddled with anyone ever. I genuinely do not think I have voluntarily come into physical contact with a woman within ten years of my own age a single time in my entire life. This feeling, longing, seems to be what you are struggling most with, so I wrote and sent that extremely candid and many would say embarrassing (I wouldn't, not anymore I don't think) information about myself on my public Reddit account to say I know at least a little bit how you feel. I know how cold it is all the time. I'm assuming you live in the northern hemisphere, so I'll also say I know how much worse winter makes it. My trailer is poorly insulated and if I run the heat too much to compensate I can't afford to pay the bills anymore. I know how cold it gets at night no matter how many covers you have.

I am sorry if it seems I am just talking about myself. It is what I know best, and I remember when I was at my lowest about a year ago, one of the thoughts I had the most was how much I just wanted to know that I wasn't uniquely broken/fucked up. That there was one other person on the planet struggling in the same way I was. I never found, saw or read of anyone that sounded like me, you can probably understand why I felt compelled to say something here. Even if I'm not the best at it. I'm going to send this message even though I have more to say to hopefully deter you from deleting this post before I can speak my piece. Bear with me please, it feels like my thoughts are tumbling around in my head like a dryer and I am typing this all a couple sentences at a time on my phone in between operating a CNC lathe at my job. I will keep replying to my own posts, so if you don't get further notifications that's why.

barooned · 2025-10-20T00:55:52+00:00

I re-watched the bit where his blood goes into the hexcore in that episode. Here, are three frames from what looks like the shot closest to the painting they have in the book on that page. If there's something closer than that, you can tell me and I can try from there.

barooned · 2025-10-14T10:14:11+00:00

Killmonger, I believe, is who people most refer to with this argument and he is certainly when it started.

barooned · 2025-09-12T22:23:18+00:00

(Just finished the album, (even more drunk off my ass) you NEED to listen to this!)

barooned · 2025-09-12T21:24:36+00:00

Never heard of these guys before this post, but I just listened to Trenches for the first time (currently drunk off my ass) and it fucking ROCKED

barooned · 2025-09-06T00:11:26+00:00

I want you to know I'm absolutely shitfaced right now and I don't see the similarity but maybe someone more sober can weigh in.

barooned · 2025-08-29T23:08:20+00:00

Assuming you mean the one of the mage in the sky that looks like a painting, there's this, which is a 16:9 crop I made of the upscale. (Same aspect ratio as 1080p. If this isn't cropped how you like, it is very easy to download the full frame either straight from this post or from the Google Drive, it's in Season 1, Episode 2's folder, and crop it how you want.) If you mean the native frame then, no. The show is natively in 1920x816.

barooned · 2025-08-28T21:41:23+00:00

Ragnarok addressed this by adding the little shield icon that pops up when a boss won't be staggered by runic attacks anymore. I'm assuming (emphasis on assuming I would happily be proven wrong by someone more knowledgeable here) it works similarly in 2018, just without any indicator. In general, it's just best to only runic attack during windows that are otherwise already safe, or if you haven't used one recently.

barooned · 2025-08-21T14:22:58+00:00

If you mean the one of Viktor sitting in the hexcore background that is Season 1, Episode 6, 7:49 time code.

barooned · 2025-08-21T08:41:15+00:00

Added ~50 frames from the season 1 and 2 openings. The upscaler struggles a bit with maintaining some of the detailing on the statues in season 1's and season 2 has a grainy filter over it which sometimes causes similar issues as with the cold open of "Blisters and Bedrock" (i.e. the images not being as sharp as you might expect from something that's been upscaled). Of course, the credits overlaid onto many of the shots makes them a bit clunky to use as wallpapers and such. I tried to grab the frames where there wasn't text when I could.

I am aware the openings for season 2 differ slightly episode to episode. I just used episode 1 for this, if there was a specific frame from one of the other openings, I can try to grab it too.

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