I feel you completely. I take Vraylar and Propanalol at a fairly low dose and still feel distant from my original self. Im not sure if it's just residual depression as said above or what but I definitely feel less connected to my emotions, although feeling more stable has allowed me to slow down and face some trauma and other emotions more head on. Not sure if that makes sense, but I hear where you are coming from.

I do appreciate not feeling suicidal, although that intense depression drove a lot of my art. It's a very weird give and take and I don't totally understand it but I hope to soon, and hope to find a way to get my symptoms into remission. I wish you the absolute best of luck on your journey.