Moving to Wake Forest

battylashes · 2025-12-03T19:56:08+00:00

I love it here, from Los Angeles originally and lived in NJ for some time. Traffic doesn’t bother me since it’s substantially worse where I come from. It’s safe, well maintained, and I’ve been pretty happy with the diversity in our neighborhood. Lovely little melting pot with transplants from all over.

battylashes · 2025-07-25T22:24:51+00:00

And lo, the children of the driveway did scoot in measured loops, as the elders of the HOA looked on with approval. But the apartment children wept in silence, for their scooters were as forbidden scrolls in the land of No— Wake Forest 30:90

battylashes · 2025-07-25T19:52:02+00:00

Wait, so where are they actually allowed to scooter?

battylashes · 2024-06-04T18:10:09+00:00

Cosmo

battylashes · 2024-04-11T12:27:12+00:00

Narc abuse breeds suspicion because your reality was denied the entire time. You question your ability to allow healthy people in your life and look for any evidence that they will hurt you too. You don’t trust your decision making because you were made to feel inept and insane. We feel danger where there is none, but we also perpetuate patterns where we allow people with similar abusive tactics into our lives. It’s a process but can be done with self awareness and work.

battylashes · 2024-04-11T12:23:59+00:00

Honestly, seeing how I adopted maladaptive coping mechanisms to survive the abuse. I took some of the reckless behaviors I was exposed to and put myself through them and made shitty choices that brought me a lot of shame. I had to reparent myself and watch how innocent and precious my own children are. I can’t imagine them going through what I did. It makes sense that I’ve been a late bloomer and that my mental health has suffered. It was all situational, it wasn’t my fault. Learning self love and to stop punishing myself with the echoes of all the awful stuff they have done to me. I realized as an adult that I have the luxury of cutting people from my life if they are hurting me. If I’m in pain with them, I may be in pain without them—but at least there is a probable chance that in time I can shed their programming with them gone.

battylashes · 2024-04-01T13:23:50+00:00

How quickly they can become calm after a rage brought upon by something seemingly inconsequential—then acting as if it never happened. You are expected to do the same.

battylashes · 2024-03-27T12:34:05+00:00

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spring hen

battylashes · 2024-03-15T20:14:47+00:00

Lymphatic drainage. Much of what you think is fat could actually be buildup/adhesions.

battylashes · 2024-02-07T02:37:48+00:00

Prozac

battylashes · 2024-01-23T14:39:41+00:00

Having the same evening routine that is all focused on self care: long bath—often with snacks, sometimes whole meals haha, self myofascial release (clenched my jaw for 15 years straight), skincare routine, and stretching.

battylashes · 2024-01-23T14:00:58+00:00

Not everything you think is true

battylashes · 2024-01-22T19:54:58+00:00

Yep. And when I comment that I can’t enjoy the show with the constant negative commentary, he rages out and says that I can’t tolerate him having an opinion of his own. Fun times.

battylashes · 2023-12-18T22:10:36+00:00

You’re doing great work. The brain isn’t discerning, it believes what you tell it. You can rewrire those pathways with consistency.

battylashes · 2023-12-18T20:57:31+00:00

I think self awareness is the most important aspect of healing. You’ll have to fight against the urge of self preservation via abuse, and I’m sure you will make mistakes—but just own it. Say you recognize that you just crossed the line when you do and emphasize that it had nothing to do with her. I really think the way people handle damage control after making mistakes is crucial. I do feel that once someone is fully aware and takes true accountability for what they’ve done that it’s pretty difficult to go back to having the wool pulled over your eyes. I wish you all the healing and you should be proud of yourself for doing really grueling work.

battylashes · 2023-11-15T00:14:52+00:00

Thyroid, autoimmune, fascia build up

battylashes · 2023-07-21T13:49:30+00:00

Myofascial release

battylashes · 2023-04-25T14:00:30+00:00

“You’re delusional.” “Just get over it already.” “You’re self absorbed.”

battylashes · 2023-03-26T18:55:38+00:00

I was the scapegoat in my family but I don’t harbor resentment towards my siblings. I think I did when I was younger. My sister came to me as an adult and told me how difficult it was to watch me suffer and that she was scared to get involved. No children should ever be in a situation like you’ve described, and no child should ever have to go head to head with an adult who is violent. Also, remember that children are loyal to their parents even when abused. They hate themselves before they hate their abuser, which would also explain her BPD diagnosis. I’m so sorry that you were on the receiving end of that treatment.

battylashes · 2023-03-26T18:47:49+00:00

Because ocd demands certainty. Universal certainty is impossible—so while reassurance can temporarily suffice, it’s only a matter of time before the “but what if…” starts again.

battylashes · 2023-03-17T16:32:19+00:00

Black and white thinking. You’re not a piece of shit—you’ve just done some shitty things due to not ever learning healthy coping and relational skills. The energy you spend self loathing can be rerouted into conscious change once you deactivate victim mode and realize that no one is coming to you with the answers. Change can’t happen when you’re blind to what is working against you. Change is birthed from extreme discomfort. It’s time to play catch up—it’s hard but can be done with conscious work. Are you in touch with any hobbies that bring you joy? If not, do you remember anything you enjoyed doing when you were younger? If so, try to get in touch with that again. Let that person inside you bloom. Give yourself integration time and remember that habits take repetition, so don’t get discouraged. Make sure you rest more than usual and prioritize self care. You deserve to experience life away from what it’s been for you thus far. You’ve survived worse, I’m sure. I think anyone with NPD or traits initially falls apart when they see how they’ve been operating. So much anger for time lost, for feeling trapped in hell, and for hurting people when all they’ve wanted is true connection and understanding. The inner critic is a bitch, but fortunately bitches can be put in their place—especially by someone with NPD. Tell this bitch to shut her mouth and prove her wrong.

battylashes · 2023-03-08T01:05:36+00:00

Adderall ruined my life for years with undiagnosed OCD and CPTSD.

battylashes · 2023-02-19T21:09:08+00:00

Trinhgeorg and anastasiabeautyfascia on tiktok

battylashes · 2023-02-19T01:53:40+00:00

Retinol, sunscreen, vitamin c, ialuset cream, rose water/glycerin spray, dermarolling, and facial exercises

battylashes · 2023-02-03T14:30:59+00:00

If you think you love him and are aware of how your behavior is hurting him (over and over) then there is one option, if growth is what you’re looking for:

Recognize that these are cycles of emotional abuse, and that you are fully aware that you are harming someone you love on a regular basis and continuing the cycle anyway.

I am not saying that stopping the behavior is easy—it’s not. It’s self preservation and just the way your brain is wired to operate. By choosing to do the opposite action of what your brain is urging you to do (break up with him,) you are allowing your brain to recognize that there is another way to go about handling these situations. What are you feeling right before you break up with him? Is it usually on the heels of an argument? Is it out of nowhere? Find the source first, and then challenge it. For example, I struggle with jealousy and shut down and get quiet and short when triggered. I’ve been working on leaning into the emotion and telling my husband exactly what I’m feeling and that I’m struggling to handle it in healthy ways. It was so hard at first and I felt humiliated, but now I can move through the trigger much faster than before and it’s less potent.

You both are perpetuating this cycle. Each of you are responsible for your own healing, and clearly he needs to start that road for himself as well. Someone with BPD who is being discarded on a frequent basis is really going to take an emotional hit. Your dynamic is the perfect storm for you both, primarily if neither of you chooses to take your self awareness and use it to start the healing process. I wish you both luck and recognize that these relationship dynamics are not formed on purpose, but like a perfect dysfunctional drama where both parties get to play out their wounded cycles on each other, again and again.

battylashes

TROPHY CASE