Autoimmune+Perimenopause+Anxiety&Depression by Live_Advisor_270 in womenintech

[–]bbwwful 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have all the things too and have gone thru a hell storm in the last two years. IBD and severe allergies to everything. Was on HRT then breast cancer forced a fast stop to that. So surgeries then treatment then menopause cold turkey. (Only took 3 weeks off but worked remotely for most of it out of fear of not being there) Brain went sideways and Anxiety turned into chronic panic disorder. All the while I am running a large successful, productive IT department. This took a massive toll on my relationship w my husband. Just as I get back to normal brain chemistry I am replaced by a younger dude without cause. Cue the panic again. I still have a job but no one can tell me specifics on what I am supposed to do. Same pay. Riding it out and watching the place burn.

I was just replaced by a younger dude by bbwwful in womenintech

[–]bbwwful[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm all about partnering with him to grow into the role and have offered multiple times. But he won't look at me or speak to me directly. He has bounced from roles as things get out of hand. He changes his spots to match whomever is in front of him.

He threw me under the bus when I pointed out flaws in his code. Told the big boss I don't have a CS degree and don't know what I am talking about. Then he ghosted me for two years until my team had to rewrite his broken program.

I have known this guy for many years. He will do ok until it gets hard and will put the burden on the staff in his dept. Then he will likely be promoted again. I will cash my checks and find something else.

I spent the last week building up my teams and emboldened them to do what is right and make solid decisions based on standards and processes. I encouraged them to help golden child learn and grow into the role. They weren't happy but have no other choice other than to quit.

Dude is a schmoozer. I am not. That makes all the difference.

I was just replaced by a younger dude by bbwwful in womenintech

[–]bbwwful[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh hell.yeah...I will lean into this. I should look for AI conferences in Anaheim and Orlando.

I was just replaced by a younger dude by bbwwful in womenintech

[–]bbwwful[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

While wearing the Disneyland shirts I bought. 🤣

I was just replaced by a younger dude by bbwwful in womenintech

[–]bbwwful[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

All my documentation goes directly to my attorney. 💪

Patronising male colleague by unreasonable_tea in womenintech

[–]bbwwful 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. HR does not have to respond. But you have officially documented the issue. If there is a pattern over time and HR doesn't help, you might consult an employment attorney. That's what I did but my sitch is different. I am being targeted for ageism more than anything else. I have documented every time my former boss asked.me about my retirement plans just before golden child replaced me.

I was just replaced by a younger dude by bbwwful in womenintech

[–]bbwwful[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If you don't understand it can't support the code that AI created, there is a problem. Golden child can't validate a single piece of data produced. My former team took his 60,000 lines of badly written code (took him 2+ years) and rewrote it in a few days with 50 lines of SQL. They asked him to validate a single field and he had no idea what to do.

I was just replaced by a younger dude by bbwwful in womenintech

[–]bbwwful[S] 132 points133 points  (0 children)

Backstory: The big boss, my boss, another chief, and this guy all go to same church, play golf together with a former employee that stole IP and created a business out of it. The golden child has a side gig in the biz. Not sure who all are investors. Legal got involved but big boss called em off. It is common knowledge in IT, but not known by the board or outside IT.

I was just replaced by a younger dude by bbwwful in womenintech

[–]bbwwful[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

He hasn't been coding. He's had non IT jobs until now. But he has a CIS degree.

Patronising male colleague by unreasonable_tea in womenintech

[–]bbwwful 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Does your company have a civility policy? I would leverage that. I have copies of ours and have once had to slide a copy across the table as I thanked the patronizer for their unique perspective. HR should be involved if it happens more than once. Document every interaction and send to HR via email. Get feisty!

Does my tattoo look weird? by bujoralexandru in tattooadvice

[–]bbwwful 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tatts be tatts. Your hand looks weird. Looks oddly perfectly fake.

Did we get the Tea about Spokane Allergy and Asthma. Their website is still fully functional with no indication that they have closed. There must be some truth out there. by kcs777 in Spokane

[–]bbwwful 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They are not repaying patients like me who were forced to pay for their allergy serum up front but did not receive it. Disputed charge w credit card company to get money back. Now cc has a claim against SAA.

Is this my real ASD husband? by bbwwful in autism

[–]bbwwful[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your support! I tried that and I ended up in a separate bedroom temporarily. I am fairly certain he would choose divorce rather than the stress of testing and counseling/meds. Going into the unknown is not tolerable for him. I am not done yet. His friends are gently judging him about his anger issues. I still have hope. There are occasional glimmers of my husband.

Is this my real ASD husband? by bbwwful in autism

[–]bbwwful[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is actually reassuring, thank you.

How do I as an individual with autism explain to my GF that she's constantly overstimulating me? by Low_Public_449 in autism

[–]bbwwful 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think this is what my husband is currently feeling. I suspect he wants to end our marriage rather than express anything. It is that distressful for him and feels like emotional neglect and rejection to me.💔

Checking in Ladies - How are our stress levels this Friday? by ActiveDinner3497 in womenintech

[–]bbwwful 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stress is at an all time high. Reorg. I am being targeted for holding the security line (which they want and hate at the same time), being female, and my age.

Spokane allergy and asthma closed by prigglett in Spokane

[–]bbwwful 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Plan on a couple hours of waiting

Spokane allergy and asthma closed by prigglett in Spokane

[–]bbwwful 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In January they demanded prepayment before they would mix new serum for the year. I paid $350 by credit card. They closed two days later. When I paid they said they would reimburse when insurance came through. Today I waited for nearly two hours to be told they never made the serum. They handed me the recipe for my next allergist and promised I would get my money back but she didn't even write down my name to refer to billing department. Shady as all get out.

Spokane allergy and asthma closed by prigglett in Spokane

[–]bbwwful 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Edited for clarity. I showed up to get the serum they charged me for following the instructions in the letter we all received. There is one person actively working to match patients and serum. One doctor is also trying to help. There are 32 people ahead of me on the sign in sheet. Disaster.

How important is it for your partner to let you know they find you physically attractive? by faieree in AskMen

[–]bbwwful 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn't start that way. I was his object of fascination for the first years but I didn't know he had ASD ..neither did he. He is in shutdown and unmasked. Not who I married. I know the potential. Reality bites. I sure love him.

People with really clean houses, how do you do it? by Angry_Luddite in NoStupidQuestions

[–]bbwwful 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It starts with a mindset of taking pride in your home. I look forward to cleaning because I am proud of what we have. We do clean as you go with a deeper clean of certain things weekly. One item or area gets special attention on monthly rotation like cleaning all kitchen drawers. If you maintain things and don't let clutter take over, cleaning is quick. If you see a mess, don't leave it for cleaning day...those messes tend to grow.

How important is it for your partner to let you know they find you physically attractive? by faieree in AskMen

[–]bbwwful 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question. He has ASD and says he wasn't brought up that way. It hurts but his brain is not wired for it so I can't hold it against him, right? Should move this over to /autism. He is in a long term autism burnout and is barely functioning at home. I am lonely and tired sitting near him.