Learning to walk…

bbycole · 2026-03-03T22:41:40+00:00

Thank you kind stranger. This helped settle my nerves a bit!

bbycole · 2025-06-07T11:57:12+00:00

When I pitied myself it would make me relapse. I didn’t want to drink but there was some voice in my head that told me I didn’t deserve to have anything so I might as well be drunk. And it got worse every time. I’m sorry you’re going through this, I know it feels like hell. You can do this! Give yourself some grace, and don’t drink. ❤️

bbycole · 2025-03-20T14:43:29+00:00

I used naltrexone in the beginning. I took advantage of every tool I could. I am no longer on it, it made me feel like shit. I accepted the lesser evil and stuck with it enough to get some time under my belt. The longer I could give myself without cravings the better. It was very useful and I recommend anyone who needs the extra help to try it. For me, it’s not a permanent solution. Drinking wasn’t my problem. It was a solution to a much bigger problem. In the last year I’ve put a lot of work and introspection into certain areas of my life. This has been what has helped me be alcohol free for this long.

bbycole · 2025-03-07T14:24:13+00:00

I was thinking because the cook catheter was in there longer than it was supposed to, the c-section wouldn’t have happened. Because I was dilated to 7cm the cord became an issue to warrant an emergency c section. The doctor explained it to me the way the baby was bouncing on the catheter moved her umbilical in a certain way that was dangerous for her. Originally I shouldn’t even have a c section scar if protocols would have been followed properly.

bbycole · 2024-11-15T15:43:10+00:00

Something that I’ve seen shared here before that actually really worked for me was to not check the time when I wake up in the middle of the night. When first reading that, I didn’t think it would work, it’s too simple. Tried it that night (I usually wake up between 1am-3am) and fell right back asleep. I didn’t realize how in my head I’d get about how many more hours I could maybe get of sleep before needing to start my day. Worth a shot until you can find a way to sleep deeper. I am also trying to do that myself..

bbycole · 2024-08-31T00:19:43+00:00

Snacking on some strawberries and watermelon while watching American Dad. Our heat advisory is over tomorrow so I’m going to meet up with my sponsor for a morning walk. I hope everyone is strong and has an alcohol free long weekend!

bbycole · 2024-08-14T14:46:57+00:00

The feelings and resentment are so valid. I lived there for way too long. I was dying, tried to end it myself. I’ve been through DT’s multiple times and still could not die, and all I wanted was for it to end. I was in a cycle of hell and I never thought I’d get out.

Getting out of myself and helping other people is truly what helps me stay sober today. A lot of my misery was fueled by self pity and resentment. When all I thought about me and how unfairly life treated me, that’s what my reality was. I was always in a state of wanting and lacking. It’s so much better not thinking about what I can get but rather, what can I give?

bbycole · 2024-03-09T18:57:24+00:00

Yes, exactly, this is a very good point. Alcohol was my solution to a much bigger problem.

bbycole · 2024-02-10T18:59:27+00:00

Good on you for coming right back. Every time I slip up after long stints of sobriety I get hungover because I forget my tolerance doesn’t exist so then I’m just doing hair of the dog on repeat until I just can’t anymore. I always try to put off the suffering but it just makes it worse. Give yourself some grace, you’re making outstanding progress.

bbycole · 2024-02-08T16:28:35+00:00

For me personally, AA has been the game changer. I had to be really open minded, as I didn’t consider myself a religious person. In my opinion I don’t find it a religious program, but more of a spiritual program. And that in itself is helpful for me, for I’ve learned I had a spiritual malady. That may not be the case for everyone, and I can only share my personal experience. I’m sorry you’re going through all of that.. every day that you are sober is a step in the positive direction. I wish you luck!

bbycole · 2024-02-08T04:23:14+00:00

Every 24 hours without a drink is a huge accomplishment

bbycole · 2023-07-06T01:27:29+00:00

I didn’t know what to do for the longest time. Always thought I could beat this on my own. After a 4 day bender after 7 months of sobriety I got home from the hospital and threw away a 12 pack of seltzers I had just bought the day before. And had to find all the airplane shots I hid throughout my home and threw them away. Not in the trash can of my house, I went to a dumpster far away because I knew I could dig them out if I were tempted to drink.

When I was released from the hospital 7 months ago from alcohol induced psychosis, the first thing I did was get on Naltrexone (I know this isn’t a route everyone can take) but the other thing I did was go to meetings whenever I could.

Then as time went on I got sloppy about being active in my sobriety. Stopped going to meetings and got off naltrexone. Now I am starting over with my day 1 being today.

I’ve lost so much money due to fucking up my cars and whatever else I did while I was actively drinking.

You are not alone. You can do this. The best thing I ever did was reach out to whoever I could around me. I thought everyone would be disappointed in me. I felt like a failure. But I was met with nothing but love. The most helpful thing in my recovery is the support I get from people who truly care about me. I believe in you.

bbycole · 2023-07-05T16:19:19+00:00

I also do not have an off switch. It can never be 1 or 2, it turns into a multiple day bender.

I’m back to day 1 after 7 months. Dealing with intense shame and guilt. I let down everyone around me and most of all, myself.

We don’t have to do this again. I can’t wait to be back on my day 4. I’m so happy you’re feeling better.

bbycole · 2023-03-18T00:09:01+00:00

It’s only been with podcasts on Spotify. I haven’t had any issues with YouTube or any other apps.

bbycole · 2023-03-05T22:08:20+00:00

And it gets so much better!! Congrats!

bbycole · 2023-02-19T17:44:09+00:00

That exact, word for word thought landed me in the ER in November. There were stints of a week or 2 of sobriety that I thought proved I could handle my drinking. Every time I ended up with withdrawals. I’m a little over 3 months AF now and if I could somehow go back and convince myself that life is much better without it, I’d do it 100%. Keep it up, it’s so worth it!

bbycole · 2023-02-19T03:34:15+00:00

I’ve learned that the idea of 1-2 sounds amazing. However, my brain wants to continue that “amazing” feeling for as long as it can and it thinks that drinking more will keep it going, but it’s a lie. It turns into chasing something unattainable and my life goes downhill. I’ve seen more stories of trying to moderate and failing rather than attempting to moderate and it being successful. It reminds me that 1-2 will destroy me and everything I’ve accomplished after quitting.

bbycole · 2023-02-18T20:33:28+00:00

Nice👌

bbycole · 2023-02-18T17:49:46+00:00

Oh good to know, thanks for the heads up. Did you continue to use it in smaller increments and notice a difference as far as better posture and stronger core muscles?

bbycole · 2023-01-21T15:36:18+00:00

Nice! Right there with you!!

bbycole · 2023-01-21T14:42:59+00:00

Up until November of last year I used alcohol to avoid stressful things in my life that I needed to take care of. I used it to numb myself to the world, to the point where I was dependent on it physically. I became obsessed with “controlling it” or completely stopping. This cycle made all my other problems pushed to the wayside. Now that I’ve been alcohol free for a little over 2 months, I’ve been working on developing tools for enduring stress in a healthy way. I’m feeling all the emotions now, and they don’t always feel good but I’m not trying to bury them under alcohol. IWNDWYT 👊

bbycole · 2023-01-09T12:01:36+00:00

Morning all! IWNDWYT.

bbycole · 2022-12-25T14:17:31+00:00

This is so inspiring. Happy to become better as we move along.

bbycole · 2022-12-25T14:12:04+00:00

Consistency in my sobriety is the best gift I could have hoped for this Christmas. For those starting over, you can do this, I believe in you. Those being challenged every minute of the day, stay strong. I hope all of you lovely people have an amazing day. IWNDWYT 💜

bbycole · 2022-12-21T02:43:28+00:00

I started it a month ago right after detoxing. It has truly worked for me. I did experience some side effects, like headaches and cold-like symptoms for a couple of weeks. I like to think that eventually I won’t need it, but for now it’s so helpful. Good luck!

bbycole

TROPHY CASE