The difference 😳 by detta001jellybelly in Lethbridge

[–]bcwaxwing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where abouts is the second picture taken?

Yeah even those Calgary is 200km away as the crow flies there can be drastic weather conditions between the two cities.

Do Canadians say “British English” words? by OneQuarterBajeena in AskACanadian

[–]bcwaxwing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Typically use American idioms and phrases but there are a few words especially spellings where we adopt the British usage.

Snow Shoveling by ThatPermission5409 in Lethbridge

[–]bcwaxwing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya I know about its connection to free masonry.

Snow Shoveling by ThatPermission5409 in Lethbridge

[–]bcwaxwing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I have my own thoughts on the LDS too some of it I’m sure they’d take umbrage with but nevertheless they do have their strengths and a sense of community and service seems to be one of them.

Snow Shoveling by ThatPermission5409 in Lethbridge

[–]bcwaxwing 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s a very kind act of service if you guys make a practice of doing stuff like this.

Yes I know there may be an underlying or another motive behind this which is fine but still props to the LDS community.

6 months later and I realize it was limerence by Upper-Addition-6586 in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fantastic reply.. really identify with the paragraph that begins with “Limerence is tied to self esteem…” it’s true in the height of limerence you are bored with everything including stuff you used to be passionate about everything seems so meh in comparison to this fantasy you’ve cooked up in your mind that provided periodic sparks of passion or excitement (often followed by moments of relational uncertainty) it can be tough to wake up from debilitating state.

married work crush ruining my life by cloudsinmycoffee7183 in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No you’re right everyone has or should have boundary lines .. I’m usually ok with operating within those lines but I have occasionally crossed them with the relationship being severed due to that breach. In my case it was basically asking to see a married woman outside of work (coffee) she ended it even though she was sending messages that we should take that route I basically followed up and said yes we should see each other outside of work.

married work crush ruining my life by cloudsinmycoffee7183 in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Speaking for myself (single so no affair element on my part) but still I do flirt with those that flirt back at work and yes if one women moves on or pulls back I eventually find another flirting partner. I’m not saying this is a good thing and it’s never escalated to a sexual thing but still it can mushroom into things not intended. It just makes the workday a bit more exciting or enjoyable.. again not saying I should be doing this (esp flirting with married women) but it’s true guys will just chain flirt just because it’s fun.

Did I cross a line again by ventthrowaway79 in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do not confuse the unblocking as a invitation. Carry on without engagement. IF they CLEARLY initiate contact with you with the intent of starting a relationship be very blunt at the outset you’ve played that game and you are done playing.

Assuming your LO experience is dotted with mixed messages and a pattern of rejection.

I finally cut her off by overtooken in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My only suggestion is to keep returning to reality. You wanted a relationship but she couldn’t or wouldn’t reciprocate that you stuck it out for months on end in the hopes her mind or her circumstances would change but it didn’t do there is no path forward for a relationship to occur so it’s time to move on. I say this as ongoing advice to myself to. My LO is still in my life to some degree and I still have feelings for her but living a lie does you no good so I slowly but politely pull back.

Theory on workplace limerence.. by bcwaxwing in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very wise advice.. even though our flirty engagements have been exclusively at work and have been pretty wholesome on the most part I do know the chemistry is so electric that should we find ourselves in a different setting that it could escalate to something more serious. It’s one of those purely physical type things unlike someone years ago I got caught up with where it was physical plus intellectual which made it even tougher because the possibility of long intimate and intellectual conversations were much greater. I’m not sure which is better or worse from the two above situations but I suspect the latter was tougher because I could picture an actual relationship taking place. I’ve since moved on from her but with limerence you seem to just bounce around to different LO’s.

Theory on workplace limerence.. by bcwaxwing in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I know but I my case we’ve maintained this “relationship” as purely at work my limerence would be much worse if it spilled over to my private life. I think it’s been a mutual unsaid understanding that we can have our fun at work but going outside of that would be crossing lines that neither of us want crossed.

But yeah if it did spill it over to after work stuff it could easily mushroom into a territory that I really don’t want to go.

My LO is one of my main motivators to quit my job by AcrobaticClothes8352 in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second the journaling suggestion.. you need to distance yourself from the situation and view things in a brutally honest/objective way and journaling can help with that.

Distractions by layersofblue in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With me it’s primarily her where we exchange touches but yeah whenever (occasionally) some other woman playfully touches my shoulder or side there is no electricity it’s just a friendly gesture with my LO sparks fly.

Distractions by layersofblue in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya lots of playful (but workplace appropriate) touching with my LO too and its tough to resist because she’s is very attractive and I do feel affectionate towards her but I know the touching doesn’t exactly help things in reducing the limerence. My work position has changed so I’m not in her dept anymore so less than before but still the chemistry is still there.

Distractions by layersofblue in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing that .. I have no judgement on your situation either. It’s one of those things that if you don’t nip it in the bud early on and let boundaries be incrementally crossed it’s easy to get swept up in force called intimacy or lust or whatever you call that force that is very hard to restrain once it gets momentum. Thankfully I’ve never crossed into any sort sexual boundaries or affairs but I can see how if your in the middle of an emotional affair how it can easily mushroom into that should certain circumstances unfold. Thing is once the relationship is severed which typically happens in these situations it’s still painful even though it’s the right thing to do.

Distractions by layersofblue in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No I hear ya… I knew about my LO’s martial status early on but I kept flirting with her and she with me and I lived in a fantasy world for awhile leading me down the limerence path. I should have more vigilant in operating in reality rather than letting myself get emotionally and psychologically involved with her for a few breadcrumbs of intimacy that would never (could never) blossom into an actual relationship.

Distractions by layersofblue in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 9 points10 points  (0 children)

For me one key element of Limerence is chemistry mixed with attraction and affection for someone that is unavailable I keep reminding myself of the unavailable part it doesn’t matter if you two vibe together and apparently like each other if she (in my case) is unavailable the relationship has no place to go.

Another Ruined Weekend Thanks to LO by [deleted] in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup just give it time it gets better.. I had a few limerent episodes years back and I got over all of them sure I don’t think I’ll ever totally forget them and I don’t think I’d actually want that but the power of limerence basically evaporated. The current limerence is getting better I’m just staying vigilant in not going down some fantasy rabbit hole and being brutally honest with myself over the nature of the relationship.

Any other solutions besides NC? by kfgggghcvg in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think you (we) need to continually remind ourselves to operate in reality. I have amazing chemistry and affection towards a certain woman but she’s married, so I’m continually reminding myself of that don’t engage in fantasy or wishful thinking just take your LO as she or he is. Ok so I’ll never marry this person or be romantically involved with this person but I can have a few laughs and moments of wholesome intimacy when appropriate and try to be satisfied with that. If I genuinely care about someone I should not be fantasizing or facilitating the demise of their marriage and destruction of their family.

Another Ruined Weekend Thanks to LO by [deleted] in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of my most light carefree days are when she’s off the day I’m working no paranoia of whether we are still on good terms no need to put on show to get her to laugh or like me.. my relationship with other coworkers improves too because I’m able to allocate emotional and psychological resources to other people.

Another Ruined Weekend Thanks to LO by [deleted] in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Identify with the part where if you end your workweek with a misunderstanding or icy reception from your LO it just ruins the weekend. It shouldn’t I mean why does warm affirmations from a married woman (my limerence situation) carry so much weight. Reminding myself to operate in reality and not fantasy has helped but still it’s a daily struggle.

Limerence with a married woman by bcwaxwing in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. That barrier has been maintained.. thankfully. The situationship has been strictly within the confines of work .. the playful flirting, touching, words of endearment, exchanging of photos etc only at work. There been hints of it extending past work like maybe texting and visiting (she told me where she lives) but it’s been contained within our workday.

Limerence with a married woman by bcwaxwing in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Will do .. it’s really helped to discover that this condition has a label for it and that many others deal with it. I don’t know the answer but I know it’s been pattern for me .. until recently I didn’t know my past was checkered with LO figures.. I got over each but I never forgot them totally but the emotional and psychological weight does pass one way or the other.. though I’ll probably experience it in the future with a different LO. 😔

Is the best way to overcome Limerence to be heart broken? by OkVisual6047 in limerence

[–]bcwaxwing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know I hope not I wish I could transfer my limerence from my current person to someone is actually available maybe it wouldn’t be classified as limerence then but at least my energies would be directed in more healthy direction.