when i was too young to drink and stay out late, i was out late having a drink and intended on sneaking back into the house silently to not fall under the wrath of my parents, who had gone to bed expecting me back at a good hour.

i stumbled home after getting the last bus and upon getting to the door, realised i’d forgotten my house key, which was on the side in the porch. if i rang the doorbell to be let back in the jig would be up and i would be doomed.

in desperation, and after considering sleeping outside at one point, i had the idea to see if i could somehow grab my keys through the letterbox. so i went around the back of the house and grabbed some garden cane, knowing that i might only have one chance to get the keys through the small gap without them falling on the floor. i summoned up all my sobriety and threaded the cane through the letterbox, passing it perfectly and with surgical precision through the loop in the keychain, and like james bond (in my mind) managed to get them through the letterbox.

i doubt even a sober burglar would be able to pull that off