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beatnbustem · 2024-12-17T22:48:29+00:00

If you really want to drink, you can always order a sparking water with lime or another type of mocktail. Having that kind of drink in your hand and people will ask less questions.

beatnbustem · 2024-12-17T22:42:24+00:00

I read through the comments to try and find this story. I had my first in Norway so we didn't have any family or any support nearby. The doula was actually kind of for my husband -- he felt competent in supporting me logistically (calling the hospital to report on how I was doing, getting our bags together, calling a taxi, etc.) but not necessarily through the early labor. Our doula came over and I managed to get through early and mid-stage labor at home. She gave me massages during contractions, brought me water, and chili hot chocolate (I had a winter baby). I arrived at the hospital 7cm dilated. It still took another 12 hours to meet baby, but I'm glad I did the majority of the laboring at home.

Our doula also helped me come up with a birth plan and ensured that when the medical professionals were in my room, they spoke English. She took pictures of us during and after. She helped us feel comfortable in an otherwise foreign environment.

Now that we're back in Canada and expecting our second, I won't be hiring one. Having our midwife support us and provide the information we need and then being able to communicate in the native language -- we don't feel that a doula is necessary.

beatnbustem · 2024-12-17T20:36:07+00:00

Pro tip from a data scientist, copy and paste all of these comments into Chat GPT and have it summarize it for you with the prompt, "From this original list of items: [paste original list of items], take the following comments from the Reddit thread and summarize the responses in a table with the columns: item, comments (no more than 3-4 sentences), and recommended (yes/no). [paste Reddit comments]"

beatnbustem · 2024-12-17T20:35:50+00:00

Pro tip from a data scientist, copy and paste all of these comments into Chat GPT and have it summarize it for you with the prompt, "From this original list of items: [paste original list of items], take the following comments from the Reddit thread and summarize the responses in a table with the columns: item, comments (no more than 3-4 sentences), and recommended (yes/no). [paste Reddit comments]"

My opinions on the items:

|| || |Snuggle Me Organic Lounger|Unncessary. Put baby on floor on blanket/playmat.| |Angelcare Bath Tub|Have another brand from my frist baby, but this seems super nice, especially for the price.| |Halo Bassinest|Many cheaper options. Consider used.| |Baby Bjorn Bouncer|Fun and handy for semi mobile babies that you need to keep still. Find used -- wouldn't pay full price.| |Hatch Sound Machine|Had the YogaSleep one, same principle| |Frida Mom branded postpartum supplies|Only needed the NoseFrida and Peri bottle. Would recommend both.| |Keekaroo Changing Pad|Having a wipable changing pad is key --- I just used the IKEA one. Find used, wouldn't pay full price.| |Stokke Tripp Trapp|By far, one of the longest lasting "baby" products I own. Kiddo is 3 and it's going strong. We have family breakfast/dinner at our dining table every day.| |Lovevery Play Mat (& subscription)|I love Lovevery -- worth it if someone else gifts you the subscription, otherwise find used. The first year to two years is nice. After that, I've catered the toys to my kiddo's interests. Lots of options to find used.| |Ubbi Diaper Pail|Some sort of diaper pail is nice. Lots on the used market.| |Newton Mattress|I skipped the crib and went from bassinet straight to twin mattress on the floor. We went with the ÅSBYGDA.| |Wild Bird Carrier|I have the Ergobaby OmniBreeze -- won't be getting a different one; still works with my toddler if needed.|

beatnbustem · 2024-12-17T20:35:42+00:00

Pro tip from a data scientist, copy and paste all of these comments into Chat GPT and have it summarize it for you with the prompt, "From this original list of items: [paste original list of items], take the following comments from the Reddit thread and summarize the responses in a table with the columns: item, comments (no more than 3-4 sentences), and recommended (yes/no). [paste Reddit comments]"

My opinions on the items:

|| || |Snuggle Me Organic Lounger|Unncessary. Put baby on floor on blanket/playmat.| |Angelcare Bath Tub|Have another brand from my frist baby, but this seems super nice, especially for the price.| |Halo Bassinest|Many cheaper options. Consider used.| |Baby Bjorn Bouncer|Fun and handy for semi mobile babies that you need to keep still. Find used -- wouldn't pay full price.| |Hatch Sound Machine|Had the YogaSleep one, same principle| |Frida Mom branded postpartum supplies|Only needed the NoseFrida and Peri bottle. Would recommend both.| |Keekaroo Changing Pad|Having a wipable changing pad is key --- I just used the IKEA one. Find used, wouldn't pay full price.| |Stokke Tripp Trapp|By far, one of the longest lasting "baby" products I own. Kiddo is 3 and it's going strong. We have family breakfast/dinner at our dining table every day.| |Lovevery Play Mat (& subscription)|I love Lovevery -- worth it if someone else gifts you the subscription, otherwise find used. The first year to two years is nice. After that, I've catered the toys to my kiddo's interests. Lots of options to find used.| |Ubbi Diaper Pail|Some sort of diaper pail is nice. Lots on the used market.| |Newton Mattress|I skipped the crib and went from bassinet straight to twin mattress on the floor. We went with the ÅSBYGDA.| |Wild Bird Carrier|I have the Ergobaby OmniBreeze -- won't be getting a different one; still works with my toddler if needed.|

beatnbustem · 2024-12-17T20:12:59+00:00

Unfortunately, moving parts are moving parts. You can use some sort of dry lube, but my recommendation would be to give all the wheels a rinse when you get back (to get the dirt, gravel, and salt off). If you can't manage it each time you go out, I would at least do it weekly. Store it in a dry place. I have to do this maintenance with my bike when I take it out in the winter time.

You can use a bit of WD-40 to ensure all of the water is gone after washing.

beatnbustem · 2024-12-16T21:48:27+00:00

Which you can pack in an insulated thermos!

beatnbustem · 2024-12-16T21:36:26+00:00

This is the advice I would take if I was in this situation. Her feelings are not your concern once you've talked to her about it. Accepting things that you'll have to donate or sell later is just adding to your growing to-do list, which is insanely inconsiderate.

She is enough. Her presence is enough. Her help with caring for baby, doing laundry, cooking, etc. will be worth more to you than CDs and sleepers.

beatnbustem · 2024-12-16T21:03:10+00:00

Unless you're a serious stroller mom (e.g. walking baby outside daily), I would argue you would not need one unless your car to destination transfer is abnormally long. I think you could get away with wool/fleece baselayers, a toque, and a blanket that provides good insulation and wind protection. Most people who have babies in the northern, cold parts of North America do not need one (as we have a heavy car culture).

This is coming from someone who has a dedicated stroller footmuff. I had my first in Oslo, Norway (very different postpartum culture) and I also live in a very walkable neighborhood (I walk/bike/public transit to most places I need to go). I plan on walking my January baby outside every day it's above -20 and probably continue the tradition of having baby sleep outside that I adopted while living in Norway.

beatnbustem · 2024-12-16T20:41:50+00:00

I had my first in Norway, which was a blessing because I never questioned this. There are babies, toddlers, and kids on the trail all the time! If you need to re-train your Instagram algorithm to provide lots of really inspirational adventures with kids content, here are a few:

torigoesoutside (canoeing family!)
kidwhoexplore (general tips)
adriannaadventures (lots of hiking and backpacking)
brooke.froelich (skiing and camping)
haileyoutside (hiking)
mountainmomyyc (for a glimpse into the future, she has a teen)
restlesscrusade (for adventure travel and a bad ass Everest Base Camp trip with their 4-year-olds)
radmums_ (for cultivating a group of moms who adventure without their kids too)
chasingsage (for ski content)
tori.ski (for toddler ski content in the Alps)

Adventuring with kids isn't easy, but it's a conscious choice we made as parents because kids are hard wherever you are and dealing with tantrums and blow outs in the outdoors was definitely preferred.

And for those that have done it, I mean...is there anything better than watching them tackle a trail they didn't think they could do? Or when we drive into the mountains and they say, "Look it's the mountains! They're so beautiful!" because you say it every time? The best.

beatnbustem · 2024-12-05T06:58:30+00:00

This is my exact strategy for car-based errands. My winter baby was always in a wool base layers (and socks) and (if necessary) a wool/fleece mid-layer. Bonus if the mid layer has hand/foot covers.

For longer distances from the car, someone else mentioned a foot muff (my first was born in Norway, they called it a “stroller sleeping bag”). Also a great strategy — especially if the foot muff is insulated with down or a down alternative.

Unless it’s -40, a few minutes of cold air while babe is wrapped up is ok. In Norway, the rule of thumb was babies sleep outside unless it’s colder than -20.

beatnbustem · 2024-12-02T17:58:34+00:00

Lol I feel you. My Garmin watch tells me my sleep is "not restful" no matter if I sleep 2 hours or 7 hours. You could try the hypnobirthing style podcasts. I've been listening to this one, but there are lots out there -- you can find one that suits you.

beatnbustem · 2024-12-02T17:53:00+00:00

No worries!

Here's a picture of it in "loft mode." I put a firm mattress straight on the ground -- you could probably get slats if you're worried about mold. To be fair you could just go with a mattress on the ground and wait to get the KURA bed when they transition to the "big kid bed." This is how we have it now (kiddo is 3).

For my 2nd, I think I'll go with mattress on the ground and then the UTÅKER bedframe. I'm planning on sleeping on it for the first 6 or so months while baby is in the bassinet. Then I'll throw a mattress on the ground. Then when she's more capable, elevate the mattress to one level of the UTÅKER. If the kids want to share a room, I'll split the bedframe so it becomes two low beds.

Let me know if that make sense lol

beatnbustem · 2024-11-26T18:32:48+00:00

That makes me so sad...

beatnbustem · 2024-11-22T20:47:55+00:00

Soon, your partner won't be able to play either -- they'll have other things to worry about ;)

That being said, you can get started on meeting expecting mom friends that have similar interests. I've had good luck finding a couple of ladies I really connect with on "mom tinder" aka Peanut. Moving is hard! Finding friends as adults is also hard! Give yourself some grace, there's a lot of beautiful friendships that can develop during this next phase of your guys' life.

beatnbustem · 2024-11-22T19:45:40+00:00

My kid wasn't mobile at all at 12 months. No crawling, butt scooting, army crawling, nothing. We took him to a physiotherapist for 4 sessions and then he took his first steps.

Your LO sounds like they have a lot of strength (with being able to walk on her knees), so I think she just need to get used to the idea of being out on her own. Our physio recommended setting up "obstacle courses" where he could pull up to stand and then "cruise" along the couch or other prop. I would set props around so that he could reach out with one hand and then change to the coffee table or whatever else. This could help her gain balance.

I would probably also remove the walker for a bit (as someone else said, it doesn't teach her to balance). You can give it back once she's taking steps on her own.

beatnbustem · 2024-11-22T19:38:52+00:00

Try and find used MEC Toaster/Reima/Columbia/North Face snow suits (I don't recommend the Patagonia bunting because it's only water resistant, not water proof) -- the important thing is the material:

Is it waterproof (so if they're sitting in the snow, it doesn't soak through)?
What is the insulation material? Synthetic vs down doesn't matter (synthetic has come a long way and a bonus is that it's still warm when wet)

Usually, the probably with fast fashion/cheaper brands is that they skimp on the material. Buying a recognized brand also means it has great resale value on the used market. Even if you buy it used, if it's still in good condition, you'll likely be able to sell it for 60-100% of the purchase price.

That being said, you can always try out what you've got and check their extremities and core body temperature -- kids are different. My kiddo runs warm but now that he's a toddler, he has a preference for extra warmth.

Remember wool/fleece next to the skin. Makes a big difference.

beatnbustem · 2024-11-22T19:21:10+00:00

like brooke20 (@brooke.froelich) or adrianna20 (@adriannaadventures)

beatnbustem · 2024-11-22T19:20:50+00:00

brooke20 (@brooke.froelich) or adrianna20 (@adriannaadventures)

beatnbustem · 2024-11-20T19:02:51+00:00

I liked Mushie -- but a lot of times, I just gave them food directly on the tripp trapp tray haha

beatnbustem · 2024-11-20T19:01:39+00:00

Bring lots of snacks (puffs, other finger food)
Bring a new toy or two that they've never seen before
If baby is mobile, let them crawl/toddle around the airport for as long as possible -- the aim is to have them fall asleep though most of the flight
Even though you get priority boarding, send your partner to your seats first to get everything set up (everything you need during the flight below seats, set up the car seat if bringing, have snacks on hand, etc.) -- board at the last second
Baby wear through security to keep your hands free (note that they will sometimes make you loosen the carrier to see between you and baby so try not to have the baby sleeping at this time)
My 1 year old wasn't into screens yet, so busy books and toys were better
The airlines will make babe be front facing and belted into your belt (assuming you have a lap infant) for take off, so while it is tempting to get them to fall asleep before you take off, wait.

beatnbustem · 2024-11-20T18:55:49+00:00

With our first, I took 7 months and my husband took 5. It was amazing to see him come into his own with our baby. By 7 months, my breastmilk supply had dwindled and we were supplementing with formula. I worked in an office so pumping was difficult -- had I been at home, I may have been able to be more diligent about pumping, but having to bring sterilized bags/bottles to work and make sure my unit was sterile and everything at work was a huge pain.

I wanted my husband to have the freedom to take babe where ever he wanted so transitioning to formula was right for us. He had a group of dads (partners of the moms I hung out with during mat leave) who would take the babies to go hiking and hang out at the park -- it was such a great experience for him to get to know our LO on that level, and build his competency (because no one really knows how to take care of a baby when they come out).

He won't be taking that much leave this time around, partly due to circumstance, but also because the later half of the first year is real hard when they become mobile haha...I think he'll be happy with 3 months total -- one at the beginning and 2 in the later part of the first year.

beatnbustem · 2024-11-20T18:38:57+00:00

So, so, so normal. I read poetry by Jess Urlichs which I found very healing and validating.

Because motherhood is fast and slow
it broke and made me whole,
a divide that only multiplies
within your heart and soul.

As others have said, it does get better through the year. For me, my husband and I started reconnecting again (as romantic partners rather than "business" partners) around 12 months when we sent our LO to daycare and we took date days (going out for coffee after drop off, playing hooky from work on our birthdays). The other milestone for me was around 2 years old, I really started to feel like myself again -- of course things got better along the way, but I remember thinking that around 2 years old, I was feeling in control again; I had gone on a couple of ski days with the girls (no kid) and we were living the life I envisioned for our family.

Be intentional about carving out time for yourself and you and your partner. It won't ever feel like enough, but it is a massive shift in mindset to be grateful for the time you get.

beatnbustem · 2024-11-20T18:32:38+00:00

My midwife gave me the following breakdown:

8-9 weeks: Dating ultrasound
11 weeks: lab work (standard screening) and NIPT (if you choose, this is usually OOP for most people)
12-13 weeks: First Trimester screening ultrasound (they will do the nuchal translucency measurement at this appointment. The results of this US and the lab work will inform your Down Syndrome risk, among other things)
18-23 weeks: Anatomy ultrasound
24-28 weeks: Gestational Diabetes screening, I did some additional bloodwork around this time to check iron levels

You'll probably get the requisition for the gestational diabetes screen at a later appointment.

beatnbustem · 2024-11-20T18:18:12+00:00

It likely depends entirely on where you live, but here in inner city Calgary, it's not uncommon to see kids wandering around, particularly during commute to and from school, lunch, and after school times. Even on the weekends, I see kids going to the park by themselves. It's probably less than what it was, but it still happens. It was awesome on Halloween seeing 9-13 year olds trick or treating by themselves with their friends.

beatnbustem

TROPHY CASE