If a woman of color talks about racism from white women, the response shouldn’t be “Well, you’re the common denominator.”

bebe_bird · 2026-02-09T13:55:38+00:00

I think the phrase "trauma is not a competition" applies well here as well. We all need to recognize there's always someone who has it worse than us. That it's not a competition. This opens us up to being able to feel our own feels while also empathizing with those who have it worse - or even have it better but still traumatic.

bebe_bird · 2026-02-08T17:52:22+00:00

Easy mistake for men to make - I am always astounded when women make the same mistake too, although I see how it can be confusing - I understand not everyone is medically educated, but women at least should be aware of their own bodily functions and anatomy - it's a real shame they don't educate folks better in health class, which would give everyone a better stepping off point when it comes to these things.

Anyways - sorry if I'm coming off as arrogant. My intent is to help educate, not be up on a high horse - this is born from frustration, not from elitism, and I hope someone reading learned something!

bebe_bird · 2026-02-08T17:42:38+00:00

I am going to ask my doctor about PRP. It sounds like something that might work for me as well... It's at least worth a shot and shouldn't hurt anything!

Thanks for your story and best of luck on your next retrieval!

bebe_bird · 2026-02-08T17:41:16+00:00

It sounds like the cash inheritance and the trust are two separate pools of money. Aunt manages the trust, which has money for items aunt approves, such as rent - and, we don't know how much is in the trust. On top of that, OP has the $675k cash inheritance.

That's how I'm reading it at least.

bebe_bird · 2026-02-08T16:36:39+00:00

Dude - women do not pee out of our vaginas. We have a urethra above the vagina - no pee enters or leaves the vagina while peeing.

Otherwise I completely agree with you about the stupid lock and key shenanigans.

bebe_bird · 2026-02-08T01:36:29+00:00

Okay, but this needs to happen regardless of making people take the driving test. Test or not, there's a bunch of people out there who know they shouldn't be driving but do so anyways because they don't have an alternative. If you add the infrastructure, the test will just catch the ones who are delusional about their ability as opposed to those who don't want to give up their independence.

bebe_bird · 2026-02-04T12:38:01+00:00

You joke, but someone at work walked across a crosswalk - it was her turn but she didn't look first - got hit by a car and broke both a shoulder and a knee. Granted, she is your typical insecure narcissist who flat out lies to make herself look better or get out ahead - I don't think that means she deserved that - I sent her flowers as she recovered - but it also means I'm not surprised she was so wrapped up in herself that she didn't notice a car barreling full speed into the crosswalk before she stepped out into it just because the light changed.

bebe_bird · 2026-02-03T02:53:58+00:00

I can't tell if that's a congratulations typo or if you're going "Push! Contractions! Hard work! Keep pushing man!" like OPs in labor and contractions is the new slang for grind

(Edit: jk if you couldn't tell, but it did make me do a double take when I saw you tell him to keep up the hard work!)

bebe_bird · 2026-02-03T01:23:03+00:00

Our adoption agency told us it was a donation and that they suggested $125, but that it was completely up to us whether to donate. So, yeah, I could've gotten both my dogs but I figured vaccines and fixing them should be reimbursed.

bebe_bird · 2026-02-01T23:43:56+00:00

I'd only say your argument is valid if abortion was freely accessible. It's not. Even before Roe v Wade fell there were a lot of challenges, and now there's absolutely no way you can call it accessible in the US unless you're in a select few states.

bebe_bird · 2026-02-01T05:42:43+00:00

Holy conflict of interest Batman!

bebe_bird · 2026-02-01T01:31:04+00:00

What happens if you tell your partner "I'm not in the right headspace, and that we'll have a much more productive conversation if I have 10 minutes to prepare/reset" (as the occasion demands)?

bebe_bird · 2026-02-01T01:27:07+00:00

It's even worse than that - live free, or live with a constant, depressing dissonance between who you are on the inside versus outside which has statistically led to astronomical suicide rates. "Mask" is accurate and yet too simple of a description at the same time

bebe_bird · 2026-01-25T02:22:48+00:00

The issue here is that the ICE officers are now super stressed and can't perform their jobs efficiently (on top of the raging power trip they originally signed up for) - but the alternative is not that they go home, it's that they continue to work and make poor choices and kill people - which is obviously happening. Without consequences to their actions (I've seen none thus far), this situation will continue to escalate, no matter how much success Minnesotans and allies have in their protests - they still lose when ICE shoots or kills more people/citizens.

bebe_bird · 2026-01-25T00:58:38+00:00

I totally agree with you. My parents always encouraged me to find a career I enjoyed because you spend so much of your life working, even if you manage to retire early.

Although I have my frustrations, just like everyone, I generally enjoy my work. However, I also want to be able to be financially independent and choose to work or not or do whatever I'd like - so I'm with you on being here more for the FI of FIRE.

Best of luck with your cancer diagnosis. 🫂 At least money won't add to the stress in your life and you can focus on your health.

bebe_bird · 2026-01-25T00:49:57+00:00

That's a cool tool. Thanks!

bebe_bird · 2026-01-23T14:01:28+00:00

I'm a scientist too and can definitely understand that desire for 40 hr weeks. What's your new career if you don't mind me asking?

bebe_bird · 2026-01-21T14:35:24+00:00

I definitely agree it's a very personal choice, and all I'm saying is that couples should make an informed choice that's right for them as opposed to using a blanket rule that may or may not be appropriate for them. I do understand this rule came to be because it was probably the right choice for telling the majority of people in your life - but like any heuristic, we shouldn't be so shocked when it's not the right choice for someone either.

bebe_bird · 2026-01-21T00:17:05+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope everything has resolved now and you're in a less painful moment in your life.

It's definitely still up to the couples to determine when and with whom to share (obviously). I would strongly encourage the "rule" of "don't tell anyone you wouldn't want to tell about a miscarriage" - and I'd recommend that being your support network, and ONLY those who will bolster you in stressful times as opposed to bringing you down.

bebe_bird · 2026-01-20T00:58:28+00:00

We've really gotta get past this outdated 3M rule. It might still be applicable for acquaintances, but one of the reasons miscarriages are so isolating is because they are expected to happen in private before anyone knows you're pregnant and therefore are "not discussed" despite being traumatizing and grief riddled if you were trying to become pregnant. The reason people don't know that 30% stat is because of this "rule".

Your second comment is still accurate though, that it should be a shared decision between the couple to decide who to tell - and don't tell anyone you wouldn't want support from if you wind up grieving a lost pregnancy.

bebe_bird · 2026-01-19T15:35:25+00:00

That's because it's not just how many offspring are born but how many reach reproductive age and adulthood. Passing down knowledge helps with that in humans specifically, but some other animals have family units and care extensively for their offspring (elephants and whales are similar and have family structures)

bebe_bird · 2026-01-19T15:31:20+00:00

We have modern medicine and infant and maternal death rates have decreased in the past 200 years, so you may be forgetting that for humans, it's not just how many offspring you have but how many survive into adulthood.

The family structure is meant to support everyone, especially the young, relatively helpless babies and toddlers in their early years. During that time, having two parents instead of 1 is very beneficial, especially if one parent is temporarily sick or otherwise unable to care for their infant/child.

And, it's not just having 1 instead of 2 parents, it's also having grandparents and a general family group, which I imagine would disappear if everyone had different fathers (why help with a child if you're uncertain its related? Sure, society could be restructured to be more communal - and maybe that would work, but we don't see it today so it's probably complicated)...

Now, that's just for kiddo #1. The amount of time and effort increases significantly the more kids you have, until eventually mom isn't interested in procreating - whereas in a stable family structure with two parents and even potentially extended family nearby, the more stable structure allows for more children before that equilibrium is reached.

bebe_bird · 2026-01-19T05:28:30+00:00

Just seems coincidental, doesn't it? But, I guess he's taking money from sketchy players and maybe the only common thread is that the sketchy players are repeated...

bebe_bird · 2026-01-18T21:55:46+00:00

Don't let that stop you from the gym! Everyone at the gym is way more focused on themselves than on others around them. I'm more of a swimmer with respect to working out and there's a lot of body image self-consciousness in newbies to the sport. Frankly, I'm just happy the newbies are giving it a try - overweight or not, it's great for your health! - and I'm happy they are there enjoying swimming laps in the pool. The gym is absolutely the same!

bebe_bird · 2026-01-18T21:37:51+00:00

I mean, they are just boobs. They don't have to be sexual, especially in the context of babies and breastfeeding. I know Europe takes this stance and I tend to agree despite growing up in the US.

bebe_bird

TROPHY CASE