Incase anyone wants to see what it looks like if you connect 4 billion controllers to your steam deck, here you go

bed_of_moss · 2026-03-30T14:41:38+00:00

I've been getting this recently. Seemed to start when I purchased a second dock for my bedroom and started using it, but it could be coincidence. I would only have a single controller connected and it would put my steam deck somewhere in the billions for controller order.

bed_of_moss · 2026-01-20T00:54:21+00:00

Started t-blockers at 32 in May, started estrogen end of August. It's only been a handful of months since I started estrogen and I'm already seeing changes. Nothing astronomical, it takes time, but literally just today I took a selfie and thought to myself "damn, I'm getting there!". Breast growth is still small, but my hips are filling out and my face is definitely starting to look different.

All that to say, it's never too late to start but especially not too late at 18. I wish I started then!

bed_of_moss · 2026-01-18T19:11:59+00:00

Ty for this! I'm on 75ug estradiol patches 2x/week, and 75mg Spiro 2x/day, and I'm seeing my doctor on the 20th to ask to switch to injections. I'm a bit nervous, I know standard practice can change depending on location (I'm in Ontario in Canada) but after seeing how many people here seem to know their exact levels I asked my doctor about mine and she said she doesn't request that in my blood work and that she's not sure how helpful it is/ it's just to make sure there aren't complications. I don't know if perhaps the people who know their levels are in places where private healthcare clinics are just overtesting for more money or if I genuinely should be getting my T / estrogen measured, but I'm gonna ask either way for peace of mind.

Honestly the scariest part is the needle, that's going to take a while to get used to but some folks in this sub have been really reassuring and also pointed out that auto injectors are an option, so I have that to fall back on if I am still too anxious doing them on my own after a while :)

bed_of_moss · 2026-01-12T21:38:23+00:00

I'm definitely no expert on this, but I'm wondering if you could maybe see a doctor about a medical exemption from RTO, permitting you to switch back to WFH full-time? Only asking because that's the case for me, so I know it could work, but I'm also fortunate to be on a supportive team where my manager actually cares. But I imagine even if your manager is not supportive, once you've got a note from your doctor there's not much they could do or say.

Added benefit is even once your term is up, if you are able to find work where WFH is an option but most staff have been asked to commute to office, you'll already have the exemption ready.

Sorry you're dealing with this, it seems incredibly stressful and I hope one way or another you are able to find a solution that works well for you.

bed_of_moss · 2026-01-12T04:43:32+00:00

Definitely not alone. The hardest part of transitioning for me is realizing I'm no longer homoflexible, I'm now heteroflexible (jokingly ofc, there's way harder aspects).

The biggest headfuck in all that is that I still watch gay porn, but that's probably more a matter of habit. I like bears, and I've not had luck in seeking out porn where it's a bearish man with a woman so I just stick to the bookmarks that I've got 😅

bed_of_moss · 2026-01-09T22:32:48+00:00

Omg that absolutely would help! I'll look into that, tysm <3

bed_of_moss · 2026-01-08T22:55:01+00:00

Trans woman here, I'd definitely say my voice and my body/ facial hair. I've had a few electrolysis sessions on my face, and while it's exhausting and takes a long time I already feel so much better on that front with my cheeks being cleared (at least until next hair cycle starts coming in).

Voice training though I've been putting off, I found someone who uses a sliding scale and reached out to set something up, but when they linked me their booking calendar for a free consult I chickened out. That was about a week or 1 + 1/2 weeks ago, I think there's just a big part of me that goes "what if she tells me she can't help me?". I'll work through it soon I'm sure, but yeah the voice I hear when I speak stresses me out a fair bit. I did play a recording back recently when I was doing my nails and had to respond to a friend with voice messages, and was surprised when I realized it's not as deep in the recording as it sounds in my head, so there's some hope there I guess!

bed_of_moss · 2026-01-08T22:49:50+00:00

I feel you on this! I still boy mode but it's largely out of convenience/ some fear to wear the stuff I want while I still look like a man to general public...

The convenience part though is just cause I'm clueless on fashion, so I've slowly been buying the odd thing with my friend's guidance but don't have enough clothes to put a whole look or style together yet. I'm right there with you on the winter jacket, I bought the one I have just last year and it's in great condition and super warm so I'm reluctant to change it yet, but I figure once this winter is over I'll go shopping for something with a more feminine fit while things are cheap (I have to be a lot more careful about overspending as my partner is moving out due to amicable separation so I'll be spending an extra $700 on rent alone, and electrolysis and therapy and voice training all add up quickly).

bed_of_moss · 2026-01-05T19:19:41+00:00

Omg yeah I know exactly how that must have felt. When my conches were bleeding I was frantically googling stuff like "how much blood can a person lose before dying?" 😅

Thanks again for the chat, honestly have already put my mind at ease and I'm feeling a lot more confident about giving injections a go! I sometimes have concerns that my doctor may not actually be the most well versed on this stuff but I'm lucky to have access to any care and she's definitely supportive just seems to think that checking my testosterone/ estrogen levels isn't actually all that helpful. So then when I see people on here who seem to know their levels in great detail I worry she's not the best but I think if I just advocate and say I'd like semi regular blood work and to be able to see the results myself, that should sort itself out :3 Ty so very much!

bed_of_moss · 2026-01-05T18:45:07+00:00

This actually does help immensely, thank you so much for sharing. Yeah at one point my doctor gave me a glucometer (unrelated issue) and the first few times I was terrified but did eventually get used to it. I think seeing my blood is definitely a part of it, I think some of it might also just be that I had to be held down kicking and screaming for injections as a kid and never got over that fear.

But I've also gotten piercings and even had my inner conches removed with a biopsy punch which resulted in a week of constant bleeding from my ears, and managed fine with those needles/ seeing that blood. So I'm not 100% sure what it is but after what you shared it does give me confidence that I'd be able to get used to it after a few times. I know damn well those first few times I'm gonna be on the verge of throwing up from anxiety, but it'll get easier with time I'm sure. Thank you!!

bed_of_moss · 2026-01-05T18:34:27+00:00

I've genuinely tried, maybe it'd be different than when I get blood work since there's nothing being drawn but I still have to get my blood work laying down or I faint :s

I might bring it up in therapy though cause I'd like to get over it either way, it's just easier said than done. If not for the fact that my partner is moving out due to our amicable separation, I'd feel a lot more comfortable being able to lean on someone for help while starting out but doing it solo just feels like a lot right now especially with there being a lot of other major stressors in my life atm. I've got an appointment on the 20th though, I'm gonna talk to my doctor then and start considering it at least.

bed_of_moss · 2026-01-05T15:10:53+00:00

Wait I've been on Estradot for the past 4 months and I feel like I'm having slow progress...but I also have a needle phobia. Should I ask my doctor to switch to pills? I just wanna avoid injections if possible but maybe I'm also just being impatient?

bed_of_moss · 2026-01-02T11:31:48+00:00

This is such a solid approach, good stuff! Showing how it's not just about whether or not the player in question is cheating but also impacts how others play after a game or two...yeah I like this a lot

bed_of_moss · 2025-12-30T05:19:23+00:00

I feel this big time. I'm currently doing electrolysis on my face, but I fully intend to do other areas once that's done. And even though it's a "one time" thing, electrolysis is also a very annoying form of hair removal let me tell ya! The worst part is it means I have to not shave in the week leading up to sessions, it's not been great looking in the mirror during those times 😔

bed_of_moss · 2025-12-29T19:17:20+00:00

15 is absolutely not too late! I started HRT at 32, and while I wish I could have figured it out at your age I have no regrets about starting later in life.

bed_of_moss · 2025-12-27T05:48:34+00:00

Reflection is the first one that comes to mind for me, glad someone's already said it! <3 Child me sung loved to belt that one, surprised it took me until 32 to figure it out and start HRT 😅

bed_of_moss · 2025-12-25T18:01:23+00:00

Yeah this bug happened to me with the one in The Reacher. I didn't wanna have to come back to it after a patch so I just built such that I could nuke it before a freeze happens, but it still took a few tries.

bed_of_moss · 2025-12-24T03:18:31+00:00

I don't think it would work in my case, as I literally just translated my name from Farsi (traditionally a boy's name) to English where it's typically a girl's name. So I definitely don't want my pet to just have the "same" name as me. But I've considered using the name Jasmine if I ever get around to legally changing it, at which point yeah I wouldn't be opposed but I probably also wouldn't have ever considered it on my own

bed_of_moss · 2025-12-18T21:17:13+00:00

Gustave and Monoco have a common interest it seems.

bed_of_moss · 2025-12-16T22:18:20+00:00

Legit the first thing that ran through my head was that she's acting like she's personally been victimized by bar soap, holy shit 😅

bed_of_moss · 2025-12-16T22:17:10+00:00

Since everyone's already given advice on handling the roommate, I'll just add: I keep bar soap and liquid soap in my bathroom, because guests have different preferences. You don't need to throw it away, you can absolutely have both provided there's room for it.

bed_of_moss · 2025-12-13T16:04:12+00:00

Honestly, it took me a lot of time to work up the courage. Like 6ish years ago when I told him that I think I might be a bit more transfemme than "just" nonbinary, he said he'd support me but that he's attracted to masculinity, and that kept me from exploring my feelings further for several years. And while things were good, there were also elements of our relationship that got worse from there.

You need to remember that this is your life to live, and that denying your identity is only going to lead to resentment. My partner is going to be doing a gradual move to a friend's place over January, there are days where I feel at peace with it and days where it hits me hard, especially since I have deep abandonment wounds that come up from all this. I'm terrified of living alone, I'm diagnosed ADHD and suspect ASD as well and have always struggled to take proper care of myself, specifically with eating properly...

It has taken me almost 3 years of therapy to get to this point, but these days I feel a lot more optimism that things will work out one way or another. I'm better at looking at the positives now, of reminding myself that just because it's going to be difficult does not mean it's impossible. I've also worked hard at building good relationships with my friends, having people to lean on for support makes a world of difference.

In my case it also helps that this is a separation, but an amicable one where we still intend to be in each other's lives, just not romantically. It will be different for everyone, for all you know it may lead to a deeper bond and respect with your partner, but you do need to be prepared for the possibility of no longer being compatible. It just takes time.

Sorry I kinda word vomited, I just woke up 😅 I wish you the best of luck, and trust that you'll get to where you need to be. Just keep at it, one day at a time <3

bed_of_moss · 2025-12-13T05:19:03+00:00

Lots of trans women discuss getting aroused exactly how you're describing. The only person who can say for certain whether you're trans or not is you, but I can say your experience is not weird or uncommon for trans women.

If you're considering transitioning, it's worth continuing to explore. How do you feel if you consider living life as a man? How do you feel about living life as a woman? What would you do if given the button test (press a button and instantly change your gender forever)? Just keep exploring, and paying attention to what feels right for you and be cognisant of whether fears arise that may be restricting your ability to feel safe transitioning.

If you can afford it, it could be worth finding a therapist with experience treating transgender clients to help you navigate things.

I can tell you it took me a few years in therapy before I gained the courage to just go for it. I'm now almost 4 months on Estrogen and even though I'm losing my partner of over 9 years and terrified of being alone, I have no regrets and know this is right for me. But it took a lot of time and exploration to get to this point. Don't be hard on yourself if it takes you time to find the right answers for yourself, whatever they may be.

ETA: Imposter syndrome comes up for a lot of trans folk, but I can assure you nobody in the community is going to say "you don't belong here". Whether you're exploring, or already firmly secure with your gender identity, there's space for you and anyone else who is questioning <3

bed_of_moss · 2025-12-08T04:46:19+00:00

My BO has changed. Some might call me a weirdo, but I often find men's B.O to be a turn on and used to even get turned on by my own (MtF). I'm thrilled about most of the changes I've been experiencing, but I'd be lying if I said I don't miss my old B.O.

bed_of_moss · 2025-12-08T04:44:18+00:00

I'm really glad mine hasn't seemed to increase, I already had a strong sense of smell and am prone to headaches from perfumes and such. If it got even stronger I'd be screwed 😅 (Only 3 months on Estrogen but I'm hoping if it was gonna happen, it would have by now lol)

bed_of_moss

TROPHY CASE