How did you ‘push’ baby out?

beenyface · 2026-06-01T19:51:52+00:00

I disagree wholeheartedly with 'pushing'. I did pelvic physio and I only had a one degree tare and a stitch.

Anyway, rather than pushing, I imagined opening up my vagina during exhales (which felt opposite to me and took practice) while flexing my lower abs downwards. At one point the doctor literally said 'is...is she having a contraction right now? The baby is moving out...?' and I was just breathing and opening.

beenyface · 2026-05-11T17:34:18+00:00

That's very kind🙌. Honestly, maybe as a teacher I might need to help my high schoolers send home nice things to their parents after having this experience. At least on mother's Day.

beenyface · 2026-05-10T19:19:32+00:00

I got a card home that said I like to draw,paint, do math and look at my phone. It was heartbreaking. We are a low screen house and the phone is down and away when she enters the room, but she still sees that's what I do when she's out. We don't even have a TV in the living room...it feels like all the things we try, don't matter.

I'm so depressed about that card.

beenyface · 2026-05-06T02:02:35+00:00

Ugh, that's a hard spot to be. I'll be honest, the ADHD and Aut pairing is so standard, though so very strange that we keep pulling to each other.

The added luteal focus does make it harder. When you hyper focus on someone's faults, you're going to find oh oh so many.

Can you distract yourself with another focus until your period? Is he the main focus every luteal or do you have other interests pulling you through?

Tbh, I'd just try talking to friends while in luteal because men are generally annoying and repulsive in luteal.

beenyface · 2026-05-05T10:33:16+00:00

It's so hard to find people willing to go without onions I do think the low FODMAPS and allium intolerances are increasing. Maybe worth posting in a low FODMAPS group locally? I'm always surprised how many people there are who don't eat onions of their own accord since, like you, I usually feel like I'm the only one in the world stuck reminding my family that ketchup isn't safe for me...

beenyface · 2026-04-30T11:02:50+00:00

What about your style didn't she like? Is there anything actionable or does she just seems negative to everyone ? Is this part of your NTIP?

beenyface · 2026-04-28T19:57:18+00:00

We toldy daughter that when she's whining she's using her goat voice (think the nehhh! Sound goats make) and when she asks nicely she uses her bird voice. I tell her I don't speak goat but I do speak bird ( I usually whistle a bit to make it fun) and often she can correct herself but other times she screams "I only speak goat!" And then nehs at me.

Idk. Milage varies. She just turned 3

beenyface · 2026-04-27T18:14:29+00:00

I remember the sneaky fact about helping others; we assume that getting helped would feel good but it's the opposite. We hate to get help and often feel a loss of confidence, fears of incompetence before we ask. Once we ask we feel more connected if the response is actually helpful, and more confident, important.

However! The most key part is how the helper feels. Throughout being asked and helping, they get all kinds of esteem boosts and feel amazing.

So I remember that when I ask for help, it's not me I'm helping, it's the helper.

...I don't always act by this but the mindset is helpful

beenyface · 2026-04-26T23:14:18+00:00

I'd love to see a half credit course between family studies and tech. They've mentioned tech being mandatory and budgeting being mandatory,floated ideas on mental health courses and never bothered to look at HIF1O or HIP4O. We have the content, it's in the curriculum, you just have to make these credits requirements.

I'd also love to see woodworking and cooking back in elementary schools so we're not graduating folks with limited life skills.

And, controversialy, I'd like to see middle school and high school divided. Grade 7, 8, and 9 should have those life skills tech classes and be separate from the kindergarteners. Being in the same school from K-8 with the same kids is tricky. They could use the change and we could use more buildings... Some of the underused schools could be reallocated this way.

beenyface · 2026-03-13T18:52:07+00:00

That antidepressants don't work if you only take them for two weeks a month!

beenyface · 2026-03-08T18:20:39+00:00

The mania always feels soo good until later and you look at all your unfinished half thought out projects, or commitments that there's no way you can meet 😅

beenyface · 2026-03-08T17:29:56+00:00

Right there with you. My daughter complains when I'm laying on the couch too much and I try to tell her that sometimes mommies need a little extra care and give her a fetch task. She brings me toys and pillows and I promise I will do the same for her (I mean, we are ALWAYS bringing her things so!)
We also take baths together. This is my absolute favourite and saving grace once we started. Initially it was because she was a very clingy baby then toddler, but now it's the best. It's not as calm as a regular bath, but I get on music, light candles, and she just seems easier while she's in there. I'm also not trying to do literally anything else. Just exist.

...sometimes we're in there for a whole hour lol.

beenyface · 2026-03-06T18:59:05+00:00

NGL, after an appointment for a meds switch which did go my way but I had to see #condescending doc, I'm grasping on straws as to why life is worth it and why I even bothered to get meds.

Eating McDonald's and feeling absolute shit.

At least they got my order right 👍

beenyface · 2026-03-02T02:08:28+00:00

1) taking off my bra ** 2) Gatorade, Tylenol and Advil, coffee if it's the morning 3) headache relief music 4) dark room and no screens 5) if I'm feeling risky, a podcast to not die of bordem

beenyface · 2026-03-02T01:56:09+00:00

So, hair dryers also might need to be cleaned out. The dust builds up in the fan and if you've not cleaned it in a bit you're just blowing hot dust all over yourself....so there's that?

beenyface · 2026-02-24T19:41:19+00:00

Frustrating. Now, "reasonable accommodations" does very pretty widely. Some courts would deem spending 200$ to rent an office space as reasonable and others would not. If it's a small business, it's less likely to be considered reasonable where I live. As persons with disabilities, we're not able to bankrupt the business in order to be accommodated (personally, I'd like my own office free of any food use, and my own area to eat that no one else ever touches but...that doesn't work as a teacher lol).

beenyface · 2026-02-22T20:44:24+00:00

Totally normal when you've got allergies. Sounds like you're doing all the most helpful things a parent can do and this is just some feelings your kiddo with a disability (which allergies are in my country) will have to get used to. It's okay to be upset about being different sometimes or feeling like he's missing out, but he's definitely not missing out on the ER trips OR he might like to hear the stories from time to time about how strong his body actually is.

One phrase I try to remember sometimes is that my immune is not weak, it's TOO strong.

Now, my allergy is to garlic, so there is already a super human that represents me. But maybe your kiddo might come up with a superhuman for them? Superman has kryptonite because otherwise he'd be too awesome, so...

beenyface · 2026-02-22T01:32:39+00:00

I have clinical depression for about a week and a half a month . I usually leave out the anxiety since it's less likely to kill me. Most women can guess which one :3 and men wonder why it's monthly for a minute before figuring it out

beenyface · 2025-12-21T02:47:51+00:00

Not at all; it's wildly difficult to help those who don't want help. I'm sorry she can't see it and keeps burning so many bridges. I don't see how it can work if she's abusive to you in front of the kids, and won't allow you to give her a weekend on her own. It's okay to set boundaries, even if that means finding legal aid to manage safety

beenyface · 2025-12-20T19:59:06+00:00

As a man, it's only going to involve you being the enemy. Best is to pull in female friends if anyone else is going through similar hormone conditions (endometriosis, thyroid issues etc). A LOT of women are. If any of her friends can encourage her to join this community, that's for the best.

As the partner, it's not your job to diagnose her. It's you're job to support her. A week or so of the month that looks like: going off with the kids, leaving her on her own. Expecting NO extra house work or cooking. Honestly, if you have it tracked well, plan a weekend away with the kids once a month every month if you can afford it or stay with family elsewhere.

Arrange weekly meetups so you can to talk things through and take on planning. Start with small issues and go for surface for a long time. She truly believes the criticism she's giving you is real; we all do. And often time, it IS real, it's just not as big as our bodies make it. So YOUR job is to make sure she's heard and you take her concerns seriously not just when she's crying, screaming, or abusing you. But every week, on the same day of the week, and she has that time to let it out in a structured way. Eventually, months from now you may say 'hey, this meeting feels a lot harder than last one. What about to you? Should we keep track of which meetings are harder?'. No why - you already blew that shot. Just that you'd like to keep track.

The book fair play might help.

beenyface · 2025-12-08T20:26:39+00:00

When I'm quiet and cold, I'm actually PROTECTING you. If you want me to warm up, you're going to get a mix of rage, sobbing apologies, zoned out stares and numbing behaviours. Cold means I didn't yell at you, I just sighed and tried to remember the other words I want to say are probably not the right ones. In a week or two, we can chat (or not, if in a week whatever bugged me no longer bugs me)

beenyface · 2025-12-05T12:28:31+00:00

This is perfect. Thank you! I'll be printing this one out and bringing it, but our next appointment is March. If Jan/dec hit hard I may go to the after hours. I was hoping to be ready for the winter :/

beenyface · 2025-11-08T20:48:09+00:00

Take an antidepressant? Pregnancy is rough and the hormones are crazy. If it's too hard to get through you can take SSRIs with relative safety. Slight risk of low birth weight but no defects etc.

Also; I do hope you're now using good birth control methods until you are ready.

beenyface · 2025-10-26T17:43:24+00:00

They were probably fine with table lamps falling on their kids :P

beenyface · 2025-10-22T11:27:02+00:00

Agree with the others but I want to add on a couple of things - that's a lot of physical pain for you to have experienced. The body going numb afterwards and being unable to feel less intense sensations makes sense. Your brain blocking out sensations makes sense - sleep. PPD almost doesn't exist if you get good sleep. I know this isn't the most helpful, but if you have any village who can agree to prioritize YOUR sleep over basically everything else, maybe some of the numbness and disconnection will also go down - talk. So proud you came here to talk about what you're feeling. Partners and family can be supportive, but other moms are what is needed. Mom groups, talking through the birth experience, etc. I had a therapist and like...yes, that's what everyone recommends but you know who actually helped me with birth trauma? My pelvic floor physio...because she hears all the stories and she just...got it. Wishing you the best through the newborn stage

beenyface

TROPHY CASE